Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Some people think that taking risks and chances will lead them to success. From my everyday experience and observation, I believe that success results from careful planning. I base my position on the following points.
First of all, I believe that careful planning helps a person to analyse his goal more deeply and make realistic goals. He knows exactly what he wants. Taking chances, from the other hand, does not give the opportunity to clearly understand a goal. A person just wants to do something to move forward and he takes risks when there is no need of it. A fixed plan helps a person to achieve it and make the person more determined and object oriented than those who don’t have a fixed aim.
Second, careful planning teaches people to arrange their time more carefully in order to reach their goals. They become more patient and calm. They plan every step. This allows people to find an easier way to reach their goals and move forward faster. From the other hand, people who prefer to take risks without planning may spend more time without any improvements waiting for a chance to take. Take sportsmen for example. They exercise a lot before their performance to be in shape, do all their best and improve their previous results.
Finally, careful planning teaches them not to give up, try to find other ways to reach their goals in the case of failure. To sum up, personally, I think that all people who succeeded in life would agree with me that their success came with the hard work and careful planning.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: risks and chances Suggested revision: risks Why it matters: The two nouns overlap in meaning here, so one is sufficient.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: From my everyday experience and observation Suggested revision: From my experience and observations Why it matters: The revision is more concise and uses a natural plural noun.
- 3. Use correct collocation Original: make realistic goals Suggested revision: set realistic goals Why it matters: English uses the collocation “set goals,” not “make goals.”
- 4. Correct contrast marker Original: from the other hand Suggested revision: on the other hand Why it matters: The fixed contrasting expression is “on the other hand.”
- 5. Clarify expression Original: does not give the opportunity to clearly understand a goal Suggested revision: does not provide an opportunity to understand a goal clearly Why it matters: The revised collocation and adverb placement make the meaning natural.
- 6. Correct reference form Original: when there is no need of it Suggested revision: when there is no need to do so Why it matters: The infinitive phrase clearly refers back to taking a risk.
- 7. Clarify pronoun reference Original: helps a person to achieve it Suggested revision: helps a person achieve their goal Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear pronoun and uses a natural verb pattern.
- 8. Fix verb agreement Original: make the person more determined Suggested revision: makes the person more determined Why it matters: The singular subject “plan” requires “makes.”
- 9. Choose accurate adjective Original: object oriented Suggested revision: goal-oriented Why it matters: “Goal-oriented” describes a person focused on achieving objectives.
- 10. Match comparison forms Original: than those who don’t have a fixed aim Suggested revision: than someone without a fixed aim Why it matters: The singular comparison now matches “a person” earlier in the sentence.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: arrange their time Suggested revision: manage their time Why it matters: “Manage time” is the standard expression for planning how time is used.
- 12. Correct contrast phrase Original: From the other hand, people who prefer to take risks without planning Suggested revision: On the other hand, people who take risks without planning Why it matters: The corrected linker and tighter wording make the contrast clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- risks and chances risks
- From my everyday experience and observation From my experience and observations
- make realistic goals set realistic goals
- from the other hand on the other hand
- does not give the opportunity to clearly understand a goal does not provide an opportunity to understand a goal clearly
- when there is no need of it when there is no need to do so
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in maintaining a clear position and organising its reasons into a logical sequence. Its main limitation is that several points are asserted in general terms, while the sports example only partly demonstrates why planning produces success; recurrent awkward phrasing also reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two reasons with more specific cause-and-effect explanation and then edit collocations and sentence structures for naturalness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents a clear opinion and supports it with several relevant reasons, though some development remains general or only partly convincing.
Develop each main reason through a precise cause-and-effect chain and use an example that directly proves the advantage of planning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear progression with focused paragraphs, although some transitions are mechanical and a few sentences connect loosely.
Use more natural logical links within paragraphs and ensure every example is explicitly tied back to the paragraph’s main claim.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and shows some range, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as “from the other hand” and “object oriented” with natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but errors in articles, prepositions, pronoun reference, and sentence construction recur.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and systematically check articles and prepositions during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from?
Your response
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