Studying business or science-related subjects at the university level is more important than arts-related courses like literature. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It goes without saying that during the university period, numerous subjects have significant importance in student life, such as businesses, science and arts-related elements. Whether to dominate some subject has always been a matter of dispute and highly debatable. Therefore, business or science plays a crucial role at the university level compared to other subjects, arts and literature. However, I endorse this statement to an extent. I have some solid ground to defend my opinion.
To begin, it is implicit that arts subjects make a huge contribution to enhancing the living standard of thousands of learners even though it helps to encourage the maturation of certain abilities which students can easily express at an earlier age. Put in other words, art and music subjects are an essential l part of any civilisation, and they can easily learn about history through art. This leads to student-developed, more innovative and creative skills. As a result, learner immensely boosts their performance in universities. To cite an example, in India, according to the yearly review, an average of students who enrolled themselves in the art field in the university acquire a better position as compared to other subject students. Because arts themes Offer a creative range of skills which students grasp more efficiently. What are more, children learn to appreciate others’ outlet of communication well manners.
On the other hand, graduating in businesses or science-based themes has greater priority over arts streams like literature due to the vast carrier opportunities and broader scope for innovation prospects. Put in other words, study courses like business management or science have a tremendous market for carrier opportunities, and this leads student gets to interact with themes and establish their stability in their carrier. For instance, ample multinational company offers suitable packages and amenities to students with a degree in these contents. As a result, students are able to fulfil their desires and become Master in knowledge. in addition, a business thesis tends to give honourable schemes to every learner full their prospect in the market with higher value.
To conclude, both subjects are vital in the life of a graduate without themes students unable to survive in their life. Therefore, universities make a policy on the subject and give quality on both subject matters.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use subject name Original: businesses Suggested revision: business Why it matters: Use the uncountable subject name when referring to the academic discipline.
- 2. Choose precise noun Original: arts-related elements Suggested revision: arts subjects Why it matters: Elements does not clearly refer to university courses in this context.
- 3. Clarify comparison Original: compared to other subjects, arts and literature Suggested revision: compared with arts subjects such as literature Why it matters: This wording clearly identifies arts and literature as the contrasting fields.
- 4. Remove stray letter Original: essential l part Suggested revision: essential part Why it matters: The extra letter is a typographical error.
- 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: they Suggested revision: students Why it matters: They has no clear plural human antecedent in the sentence.
- 6. Fix result structure Original: student-developed, more innovative and creative skills Suggested revision: students developing more innovative and creative skills Why it matters: The replacement forms a grammatical complement after leads to.
- 7. Fix number agreement Original: learner immensely boosts their performance Suggested revision: learners immensely boost their performance Why it matters: The plural subject agrees with both their and the plural verb form.
- 8. Correct average expression Original: an average of students Suggested revision: students on average Why it matters: This is the natural expression for describing a typical result across students.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: enrolled themselves in the art field in the university Suggested revision: enrolled in arts courses at university Why it matters: The replacement uses the standard collocation for university course enrolment.
- 10. Match past reference Original: acquire a better position Suggested revision: acquired better positions Why it matters: Past tense matches the reported review, and the plural noun agrees with students.
- 11. Fix linking phrase Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The fixed linking expression uses is rather than are.
- 12. Clarify expression Original: others’ outlet of communication well manners Suggested revision: other forms of communication and good manners Why it matters: The original phrase combines unrelated nouns without a grammatical connection.
Suggested Rewrites
- businesses business
- arts-related elements arts subjects
- compared to other subjects, arts and literature compared with arts subjects such as literature
- essential l part essential part
- they students
- student-developed, more innovative and creative skills students developing more innovative and creative skills
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response covers both arts and vocational subjects in separate body paragraphs and offers some relevant ideas about creativity and employment. Its position remains inconsistent, however, and frequent grammatical and word-choice errors make several claims hard to follow; the highest priority is to state a clear degree of agreement and develop each supporting reason in accurate, natural sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses benefits of both subject areas, but its degree of agreement is unclear and several supporting ideas remain vague or inconsistent.
State one precise position in the introduction and conclusion, then explain how each body paragraph directly supports it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is recognizable, but progression within paragraphs is weakened by mechanical linking and loosely connected claims.
Organize each body paragraph around one controlling idea and use logical sentence connections instead of repeated stock linkers.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent spelling errors and inaccurate collocations often make expression unnatural or imprecise.
Prioritize accurate topic vocabulary and revise recurring choices such as career, subjects, and opportunities before adding less familiar words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence formation, and word forms reduce clarity.
Build consistently accurate complete sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement and clause boundaries throughout the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Studying business or science-related subjects at the university level is more important than arts-related courses like literature. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.