Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Sample Response
I do not agree with the statement that businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. I state my opinion on the following points. First of all, every company must have its moral code. It means that a company should treat its clients properly and respect their rights.
Of cause a company may lose a part of its profit but the security of its clients must be in the first place. Otherwise, clients will switch to another company and never be back. For instance, a few years ago "Jonson & Jonson" produced a new type of painkillers. Unfortunately, this product was not tested properly. As a result of this, many people died and received injuries. The president of the company made a crucial decision to call back all painkillers from all distributors and pay to all injured customers for their treatment. It cost a lot of money for the company but it saved its image and clients. It was a very difficult decision, but the president of the company understood that it would cost him even more in the future because he would not be able to return clients' respect. Losing customers means for a company losing its profit. Second of all, in order to succeed in the modern world companies have to compete with each other. Many companies lose their profit decreasing prices on their products. They do not aspire for extra profit but for clients' satisfaction. Companies do it because they want their products sold and their customers satisfied. They offer discounts, free delivery, free service, free Internet access, good return service, etc. All these are done to make their old customers happy and attract new clients. To sum up, I think a company, which the only goal is profit will not succeed nowadays. Otherwise, companies that respect their clients and want to see them satisfied will make a fortune.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise term Original: moral code Suggested revision: code of ethics Why it matters: Code of ethics is the conventional term for a company's principles of conduct.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: It Suggested revision: This Why it matters: This points more clearly to the preceding statement about a code of ethics.
- 3. Correct the phrase Original: cause Suggested revision: course Why it matters: Course is the required word in the fixed expression of course.
- 4. Fix number and article Original: a part of its profit Suggested revision: part of its profits Why it matters: The general financial return is naturally expressed as profits, without a before part.
- 5. Use correct verb Original: never be back Suggested revision: never return Why it matters: Return is the appropriate verb for clients coming back to a company.
- 6. Use singular after type Original: painkillers Suggested revision: painkiller Why it matters: A type of is followed by a singular count noun when identifying one product category.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: received injuries Suggested revision: were injured Why it matters: Were injured is the natural English expression for people suffering injuries.
- 8. Use the business term Original: call back Suggested revision: recall Why it matters: Recall is the precise verb for withdrawing an unsafe product from distributors.
- 9. Remove extra preposition Original: pay to all injured customers Suggested revision: pay all injured customers Why it matters: Pay takes the recipient directly when the recipient precedes the reason for payment.
- 10. Clarify what was preserved Original: saved its image and clients Suggested revision: protected its reputation and customer base Why it matters: The revised nouns express the intended business consequences more precisely.
- 11. Use correct reference Original: cost him Suggested revision: cost the company Why it matters: The financial consequence applies to the company rather than personally to its president.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: return Suggested revision: regain Why it matters: Regain is the natural verb for recovering lost respect.
Suggested Rewrites
- moral code code of ethics
- It This
- cause course
- a part of its profit part of its profits
- never be back never return
- painkillers painkiller
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its firm position, supported by a substantial safety example and a relevant discussion of customer satisfaction. Its main limitation is presentation: both reasons and the conclusion are compressed into one long paragraph, while recurring collocation and sentence-structure errors reduce control. The highest priority is to separate each main reason into its own paragraph and edit complex sentences for accurate, natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with two relevant reasons, including one detailed example.
Explain the second reason more directly as an ethical or strategic limit on profit-seeking rather than merely another route to profit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a recognisable sequence, but inadequate paragraphing compresses two main ideas and the conclusion together.
Give each reason a separate body paragraph and place the conclusion in its own concise final paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some less common wording, but spelling and collocation errors recur throughout.
Use more natural business collocations, such as recall a product, compensate customers, and retain customer trust.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences generally communicate clearly, although recurring clause, preposition, and sentence-boundary errors limit accuracy.
Revise relative clauses and participial phrases carefully, ensuring that each modifier has a clear grammatical connection.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.