Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Sample Response
It is believed that businesses people should use any meansany kinds of ways to generate profitsin generating profit. I strongly disagree with the statement, as there should be some regulations and policies that business people should follow and the following essay will discuss it in details about it. To begin with, if business people are allowed to do anything they like to generate profitsdo anything they like in generating profits, there would bethen there would be a serious threat to the environment. Many companies and corporations are building projects based on their commercial considerationssenses, without assessing the their impact onimpact of them to the surrounding areas. In many cases, there were a lot of energy companies that had demolished forest areas, which were home tothe home to various kinds of endangered animals. Should there be no restrictions on these companies, the world will gradually lose its biodiversityits' biodiversities. Moreover, it is clearAnd then, it is obvious that there should be a code of ethics and regulations governing businessregulations in doing business. They are important for protecting customers from any unethical practicesinappropriate acts of business owners. It has been reported that in order to reducesave production costs and to increase profit margins, a lot of manufacturing companies have used dangerous ingredients in their production processesas a part of their production process. And then, some companies were hiring labours which were below the standard age and compensated them with minimum salary to reduce labour costs. These unethicalunhealthy practices would be a serious threat to many communitiesthreat to many societies and communities. In conclusion, I disagree thatI personally disagree if people could do anything to maximise their business's profitmake their business profit. Without the existences of business restrictions, law and policies, then it would generate a devastating problem for mankind, such as deforestation and human trafficking.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear disagreement and supports it with relevant environmental and ethical reasons, including concrete illustrations of harmful business practices. Its main limitation is frequent imprecision in grammar and word choice, compounded by a single-block structure and mechanical linking. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two reasons into separate paragraphs while revising recurring plural, article, preposition, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons with generally sufficient explanation and illustration.
Develop the link between each example and the central claim more explicitly, especially in the ethical-practices discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a logical overall sequence, but one-block presentation and repetitive connectors make progression mechanical.
Create distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, and replace repeated And then transitions with logical connections.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent word-form and collocation errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Correct combinations such as businesspeople, business interests, minimum wages, and loss of biodiversity, and avoid unnecessary plural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, though recurring errors in articles, plurals, prepositions, tense, and agreement are noticeable.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns systematically, focusing first on plural forms, possessives, and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.