It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
In today's world, countries are facing many pressing issues such as poverty, climate change, and healthcare. Given these urgent concerns, the notion that we should prioritize spending on maintaining and protecting historical buildings, even if it is expensive, seems misguided. In this essay, I will explain why I disagree with the statement that it is important to conserve and protect historical buildings.
Firstly, it is vital to recognize that maintaining historical buildings is a costly undertaking. Governments must allocate significant resources and funds to upkeep such buildings, which could otherwise be invested in other pressing social and economic needs. It is often argued that such buildings attract tourists and generate revenue, which is important for the economy. However, it is important to consider that this revenue is often not enough to cover the costs of maintaining and protecting these buildings.
Secondly, focusing too much on preserving the past can distract from the more pressing issues facing society today. While historical buildings may be attractive and significant, they do not address the pressing concerns of modern times, such as poverty and climate change. Governments should focus on addressing these issues rather than spending time and money preserving the past.
Lastly, we should also consider that not all historical buildings are worth preserving. Some buildings have significant cultural and historical value, while others may not. In fact, some historical buildings may even represent a painful legacy of colonialism, slavery, or other forms of oppression. It is important for societies to critically examine the value and significance of historical buildings before investing resources in their preservation.
In conclusion, while historical buildings may hold cultural and historical value, I disagree with the idea that it is essential to maintain and protect them, even if it is expensive. In a world facing numerous pressing issues, governments must prioritize spending on urgent needs such as poverty reduction and climate change rather than investing in preserving the past.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: prioritize spending on maintaining and protecting historical buildings Suggested revision: prioritize funding the maintenance and protection of historical buildings Why it matters: The revision expresses the funding decision more concisely and naturally.
- 2. Clarify the economic link Original: which is important for the economy Suggested revision: which supports the economy Why it matters: The replacement states the relationship between tourism revenue and the economy more directly.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: spending time and money preserving the past Suggested revision: spending time and money on preserving the past Why it matters: The noun phrase “time and money” requires “on” before the activity receiving those resources.
- 4. Remove redundant linker Original: Lastly, we should also consider Suggested revision: Lastly, we should consider Why it matters: “Lastly” already signals an additional final point, so “also” is redundant.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: represent Suggested revision: embody Why it matters: “Embody a legacy” conveys the relationship between a building and its historical associations more precisely.
- 6. Avoid redundant wording Original: the value and significance of historical buildings Suggested revision: the value of historical buildings Why it matters: “Value” and “significance” overlap here, so one precise noun is sufficient.
- 7. Use parallel categories Original: change Suggested revision: action Why it matters: “Poverty reduction” and “climate action” are parallel policy priorities, unlike a policy and a condition.
- 8. Refine the structure Original: investing in preserving the past Suggested revision: investing in the preservation of the past Why it matters: The noun phrase creates a smoother and more formal complement after “investing in.”
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Governments must allocate significant resources and funds to upkeep such buildings, which could otherwise be invested in other pressing social and economic needs. Suggested revision: Governments must allocate significant funds to maintain such buildings, although this money could otherwise be directed towards other pressing social and economic needs. Why it matters: The rewrite removes redundancy, replaces the incorrect verb use of “upkeep,” and gives the contrast a clear monetary referent.
- 10. Strengthen rebuttal sequence Suggested revision: Clarify the concession-and-rebuttal sequence by linking tourism revenue directly to whether it covers maintenance costs. Why it matters: A more explicit connection between the concession and response would sharpen the paragraph’s progression.
- 11. Reduce repeated reasoning Suggested revision: Reduce repetition of the earlier funding point and make the sequence from preservation priorities to present-day concerns more explicit. Why it matters: This would help the second reason advance the argument instead of echoing the previous paragraph.
Suggested Rewrites
- prioritize spending on maintaining and protecting historical buildings prioritize funding the maintenance and protection of historical buildings
- which is important for the economy which supports the economy
- spending time and money preserving the past spending time and money on preserving the past
- Lastly, we should also consider Lastly, we should consider
- represent embody
- the value and significance of historical buildings the value of historical buildings
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops a coherent case through cost, social priorities, and selective preservation, using controlled language and strong paragraphing. Its main limitation is that the supporting arguments remain somewhat general and repeatedly rely on the same contrast between heritage and urgent needs. The highest-priority improvement is to add specific, fully explained examples and engage more precisely with when expensive preservation may still be justified.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and consistently supported by three relevant lines of argument, but development remains somewhat general.
Extend the argument with concrete examples and a more nuanced account of cases where costly preservation could be warranted.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly throughout.
Reduce repeated framing around pressing issues so that links between ideas are even more economical.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of appropriate academic vocabulary, though repetition and a few awkward choices limit flexibility.
Vary repeated terms such as important, pressing, and historical buildings, and replace unnatural phrasing such as allocate funds to upkeep buildings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are combined accurately, with strong control of clauses and punctuation across the essay.
Polish the few awkward constructions and maintain this accuracy while adding more syntactic variety to supporting examples.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.