Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Recently, the capabilities of computers have sparked a debate between its supporters and skeptics alike. While some observers regard the possibility of machines surpassing human intellect as a beneficial development, I am inclined to side with critics who claim that this situation will result in dire consequences.
Certainly, it is reasonable to assume that hyper-intelligent computers will positively affect human life. These devices, first and foremost, can dramatically improve the speed and precision of problem-solving. Advanced machine learning algorithms are capable of analyzing data and dissecting complex issues at a staggering pace, providing the potential to revolutionize fields from quantum physics to medicine. This, as a result, would lead to improved quality of human life. Such computers, furthermore, can work continuously and consistently, but without human limitations such as fatigue and emotion-driven errors. If these machines are utilized in public services, for instance, people would be pleased with receiving responses quickly and not having to wait for officials to process their requests.
Machines which can surpass human intellect possess the potential to do harm, however. Their existence may lead to large-scale unemployment, due to outpacing human employees’ efficiency. This has already happened in certain professions, such as journalism, where droves of workers were laid off as their executives sought to replace them with artificial intelligence writers. More astute observers, in addition, would find that computers’ freedom from emotion-driven errors may become a threat to humanity. Once intelligent machines attain a certain level of autonomy, in their cold logic, they might conclude that human beings are a flawed and destructive species which deserves extinction. This scenario is not entirely based on science fiction, seeing how far mankind has recently progressed in terms of artificial intelligence development.
In conclusion, while hyper-intelligent computers can align with human aspirations to innovate and maximize efficiency, being aware of the threats they may pose is more crucial. It is therefore necessary to keep the machines’ capability in check to ensure that computers are used in the service of humanity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix pronoun reference Original: a debate between its supporters and skeptics alike Suggested revision: a debate among their supporters and skeptics alike Why it matters: Their must agree with the plural noun computers, and among suits more than two groups of people.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: providing Suggested revision: with Why it matters: With the potential is the idiomatic way to express the possible impact of the algorithms.
- 3. Add definite article Original: improved quality of human life Suggested revision: an improved quality of human life Why it matters: The singular countable phrase quality of life needs a determiner here.
- 4. Place linker naturally Original: Such computers, furthermore, Suggested revision: Furthermore, such computers Why it matters: Placing the linking adverb first makes the progression less interrupted.
- 5. Remove false contrast Original: consistently, but without Suggested revision: consistently without Why it matters: But incorrectly signals a contrast between consistent operation and the absence of human limitations.
- 6. Correct verb pattern Original: pleased with receiving responses quickly Suggested revision: pleased to receive responses quickly Why it matters: Pleased is naturally followed by an infinitive when describing satisfaction with an outcome.
- 7. Fix causal structure Original: due to outpacing human employees’ efficiency Suggested revision: because they could outperform human employees Why it matters: The original due to phrase does not clearly identify machines as the cause of unemployment.
- 8. Clarify the antecedent Original: executives Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: Executives suggests the workers own the managers, while employers clearly identifies the decision-makers.
- 9. Use neutral transition Original: More astute observers, in addition, Suggested revision: In addition, some observers Why it matters: The original transition unnecessarily implies that readers who disagree are less perceptive.
- 10. Use precise expression Original: not entirely based on science fiction Suggested revision: not entirely a product of science fiction Why it matters: A scenario can be a product of fiction, whereas based on fiction suggests direct adaptation from a story.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: capability Suggested revision: capabilities Why it matters: The reference concerns the multiple abilities of multiple machines, so the plural noun is more accurate.
Suggested Rewrites
- a debate between its supporters and skeptics alike a debate among their supporters and skeptics alike
- providing with
- improved quality of human life an improved quality of human life
- Such computers, furthermore, Furthermore, such computers
- consistently, but without consistently without
- pleased with receiving responses quickly pleased to receive responses quickly
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives a clear position, develops both perspectives with relevant examples, and sustains a polished, logically sequenced argument. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and a handful of unnatural grammatical or lexical combinations, particularly when describing risks. The best improvement would be to qualify speculative claims more carefully and refine the few awkward phrases so the otherwise sophisticated argument becomes more precise and consistently natural.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly examined, the opinion is clear throughout, and the main ideas are well extended with relevant consequences and examples.
Strengthen the negative case by qualifying the extinction scenario and grounding it in a more credible, evidence-based risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall progression and cohesive paragraph structure, with ideas linked smoothly despite occasional conspicuous signposting.
Integrate transitions more naturally within sentences and reduce parenthetical sequencing phrases that slightly interrupt the flow.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional awkward collocations or inflated choices.
Refine combinations such as pleased with receiving and keep the machines' capability in check into more idiomatic, exact phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are used flexibly and accurately, while the few agreement, reference, and construction issues do not impede meaning.
Polish pronoun reference and compressed causal constructions, especially in the opening sentence and the unemployment explanation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.