Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many today are worried about the potential drawbacks of artificial intelligence. In my opinion, these concerns are legitimate but on the whole A.I. will allow for new heights to human endeavour.
The chief associated worries concern its misuse by humans initially and machines later. The former is already coming to pass as automation has phased out many traditional jobs. As artificial intelligence becomes more sophisticated, the positions in jeopardy will transition from low-skilled factory staff to data analysts and other white-collar workers. The fear is that companies will be motivated solely by their bottom line, lay off many employees and trigger mass social unrest. Some also believe A.I. portends darker scenarios akin to the apocalyptic dystopias of films like The Matrix and Terminator. This is a possibility though it is impossible to estimate its likelihood.
The speculations above should be taken seriously but they pale in comparison to the technologies A.I. can complement. Companies ranging from Google to Amazon to Tesla are investing heavily in this industry because of its enormous potential. For example, self-driving cars are fast becoming a reality and will reduce the number of vehicular accidents massively. Policymakers in government will be able to take advantage of sophisticated algorithms to project economic policy and positively enhance the lives of billions. In the consumer sphere, smartphones will become increasingly helpful, freeing up individuals to focus their time on work, family, and leisure. This is only a partial list and the most intriguing and impactful applications have yet to be unearthed.
In conclusion, artificial intelligence poses risks to the labour market and the future of humanity, but the opportunities for new projects should take priority. It is important to find a balance and methods of mitigating the dangers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: allow for new heights to human endeavour Suggested revision: enable human endeavour to reach new heights Why it matters: The revision uses the natural expression “reach new heights” and supplies a clear verb relationship.
- 2. Remove unnecessary wording Original: chief associated worries Suggested revision: chief concerns Why it matters: “Associated” adds no useful meaning and makes the phrase less direct.
- 3. Clarify the time sequence Original: its misuse by humans initially and machines later Suggested revision: its initial misuse by humans and its later misuse by machines Why it matters: Placing the time markers beside the relevant nouns makes the contrast easier to follow.
- 4. Mark the contrast Original: a possibility though Suggested revision: a possibility, though Why it matters: A comma is needed before the contrasting clause introduced by “though.”
- 5. Add the relative marker Original: technologies A.I. can complement Suggested revision: technologies that A.I. can enhance Why it matters: The relative marker clarifies the connection, and “enhance” expresses the intended effect more naturally.
- 6. Place the modifier naturally Original: will reduce the number of vehicular accidents massively Suggested revision: will greatly reduce the number of vehicular accidents Why it matters: The degree adverb sounds more natural before the verb phrase it modifies.
- 7. Clarify the algorithmic role Original: project economic policy Suggested revision: model economic policy outcomes Why it matters: Policies themselves are not normally “projected”; algorithms can model their outcomes.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: positively enhance Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: “Enhance” already has a positive meaning, so the adverb is redundant.
- 9. Use a natural collocation Original: focus their time on Suggested revision: devote their time to Why it matters: People naturally “devote time to” activities rather than “focus time on” them.
- 10. Choose a precise verb Original: unearthed Suggested revision: developed Why it matters: Applications are normally developed rather than unearthed in this technological context.
- 11. Fix parallel structure Original: find a balance and methods of mitigating Suggested revision: strike a balance and find ways to mitigate Why it matters: The revision coordinates two parallel verb phrases and connects “mitigate” directly to its object.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: As artificial intelligence becomes more sophisticated, the positions in jeopardy will transition from low-skilled factory staff to data analysts and other white-collar workers. Suggested revision: As artificial intelligence becomes more sophisticated, the jobs in jeopardy will shift from low-skilled factory roles to positions held by data analysts and other white-collar workers. Why it matters: The original sentence incorrectly contrasts positions with people and uses “transition” awkwardly.
Suggested Rewrites
- allow for new heights to human endeavour enable human endeavour to reach new heights
- chief associated worries chief concerns
- its misuse by humans initially and machines later its initial misuse by humans and its later misuse by machines
- a possibility though a possibility, though
- technologies A.I. can complement technologies that A.I. can enhance
- will reduce the number of vehicular accidents massively will greatly reduce the number of vehicular accidents
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response offers a clear, consistent judgement and develops both the risks and benefits of artificial intelligence with specific, logically sequenced examples. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement or imprecise phrasing in otherwise fluent prose, and some claims could be more explicitly tied to computers exceeding human intelligence. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen those links and qualify broad predictions while retaining the strong balance and control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed through well-developed examples, and the writer's preference for the benefits remains clear throughout.
Link each benefit more explicitly to the prospect of computers becoming more intelligent than humans rather than to artificial intelligence generally.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive references used flexibly and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the transition into the positive case by stating the basis for weighing its benefits above the acknowledged risks.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and skilfully adapted to the topic, with only occasional slightly awkward or overstated combinations.
Refine phrases such as 'reduce the number of vehicular accidents massively' into more natural and measured academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and fluently, with only rare minor punctuation or phrasing lapses.
Polish punctuation around concessive clauses and check coordination in long sentences to sustain consistently effortless control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.