Some feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the genders ought to be separated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
While certain concerned individuals feel that education is superior in single-sex schools, others value the integration of genders. In my opinion, though there are advantages related to focus from segregating the sexes, students benefit socially from mixed schools.
Those who are in favor of separating the genders argue students will be more dedicated to their studies. The reasons for this are largely self-evident as many of the interactions between boys and girls after they reach puberty can be distracting. There is even strong evidence that girls-only schools engender better standardized results. A recent study of institutions in Europe indicated that students at female-only schools scored higher on average on national exams. There might be a variety of reasons for this but many have seized on gender segregation as the primary catalyst for increased concentration and thus improved overall academic achievement.
However, the single study mentioned above does not discount the social value of schools featuring both genders. School is a place to develop not only academically, but socially as well. The fact that there may be uncomfortable interactions between girls and boys while they mature is not a drawback but a learning experience. Boys and girls, as they become men and women, will slowly learn how to talk with the opposite sex and find themselves in a better situation upon graduation. Without the opportunity to integrate socially with another gender there is a strong chance they will have difficulty communicating later and this may promote a lifelong habit of centering their social interactions on rigid gender groups.
In conclusion, despite the positive impact on attention that separating boys and girls can have, the maturing effect of mixed classrooms is more important. There is a place for single-sex institutions but the majority should include both.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural phrase Original: certain concerned individuals Suggested revision: some people Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise way to refer to the group.
- 2. Clarify the concept Original: integration of genders Suggested revision: mixed-gender education Why it matters: This phrase names the educational arrangement more precisely.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: advantages related to focus from segregating the sexes Suggested revision: concentration benefits from separating the sexes Why it matters: The replacement expresses the relationship between segregation and concentration more naturally.
- 4. Add the reporting link Original: argue students will Suggested revision: argue that students will Why it matters: Adding “that” makes the reported clause easier to read.
- 5. Use a precise collocation Original: engender better standardized results Suggested revision: produce better standardized test results Why it matters: Results are produced, and “test results” is more precise in this context.
- 6. Separate independent clauses Original: this but many Suggested revision: this, but many Why it matters: A comma is needed before “but” because it joins two independent clauses.
- 7. Choose the right verb Original: discount Suggested revision: negate Why it matters: “Negate” accurately conveys that the study does not cancel the social value described.
- 8. Use inclusive wording Original: talk with the opposite sex Suggested revision: communicate with people of the opposite sex Why it matters: The revision refers clearly to people and uses a more academic verb.
- 9. Make the benefit precise Original: find themselves in a better situation Suggested revision: be better prepared Why it matters: This states the intended benefit more directly and concisely.
- 10. Clarify the limitation Original: centering their social interactions on rigid gender groups Suggested revision: limiting their social interactions to rigid gender groups Why it matters: “Limiting” expresses the restrictive effect more clearly than “centering.”
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: There is a place for single-sex institutions but the majority should include both. Suggested revision: There is a place for single-sex institutions, but the majority of schools should include both boys and girls. Why it matters: The rewrite supplies the missing comma and makes the referents of “majority” and “both” explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- certain concerned individuals some people
- integration of genders mixed-gender education
- advantages related to focus from segregating the sexes concentration benefits from separating the sexes
- argue students will argue that students will
- engender better standardized results produce better standardized test results
- this but many this, but many
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and persuasive, logically sequenced development of both educational settings, supported by relevant explanations. Its main limitation is that a few claims and lexical choices are slightly overstated or imprecise, particularly the reliance on an unspecified study. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify supporting evidence more carefully and use consistently natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, and the preference for mixed schooling is clear and well developed throughout.
Qualify the claimed research evidence or explain its relevance more specifically to make the support fully convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used smoothly.
Refine the transition into the counterargument so it responds to the underlying reasoning rather than to a single study.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary conveys nuanced arguments with only occasional slightly unnatural choices.
Replace overstated or less natural phrases such as 'engender better standardized results' with more measured collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor slips do not impede communication.
Polish punctuation around longer introductory and subordinate clauses to make an already strong performance more exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the genders ought to be separated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.