Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
The assertion that modern communication methods, such as email and telephone conversations, have led to a reduction in the personal nature of interactions is a complex matter. While it is true that these technologies can lack the richness of face-to-face communication, they have also introduced new dimensions to human connection that should not be overlooked.
Undoubtedly, the absence of physical presence in email exchanges and telephone conversations limits the range of expressive elements available. Non-verbal cues, including facial expressions and body language, are integral to understanding the emotional nuances of a conversation. Moreover, the written record provided by emails allows for a more thoughtful and precise exchange of information. Unlike verbal communication, which is often fleeting, written messages can be revisited and analyzed, fostering clarity and avoiding misinterpretations. This aspect enhances the quality of communication, especially in professional settings where precision is paramount.
On the contrary, personal interactions offer a depth of connection that is challenging to replicate through electronic means. The warmth of a smile, the firmness of a handshake – these elements contribute to a sense of intimacy that is often absent in virtual exchanges. Face-to-face communication is also more conducive to building trust, as it allows individuals to assess sincerity through subtle cues that electronic communication may lack.
In conclusion, the impact of email and telephone communication on the personal nature of interactions is a nuanced issue. While they may fall short in certain aspects, the efficiency and precision they offer contribute positively to the overall landscape of human connection.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: a reduction in the personal nature of interactions Suggested revision: less personal interaction Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly and economically.
- 2. Qualify the claim Original: can lack the richness Suggested revision: may lack some of the richness Why it matters: The measured wording better matches the nuanced comparison developed in the essay.
- 3. Make meaning concrete Original: introduced new dimensions to human connection Suggested revision: created new ways for people to connect Why it matters: The revision replaces an abstract phrase with a clear description of the intended benefit.
- 4. Reduce nominal wording Original: absence Suggested revision: lack Why it matters: Lack is a more concise and natural noun in this context.
- 5. Choose precise term Original: the range of expressive elements available Suggested revision: the range of available expressive cues Why it matters: Cues connects more precisely to the following examples of facial expression and body language.
- 6. Show the contrast Original: Moreover Suggested revision: However Why it matters: The sentence shifts from a limitation to an advantage, so a contrasting linker is required.
- 7. Improve parallel wording Original: fostering clarity and avoiding misinterpretations Suggested revision: promoting clarity and reducing misinterpretations Why it matters: The revised verbs form a more natural and parallel pair of outcomes.
- 8. Use balanced contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: The paragraph presents another side of the issue rather than directly disproving the previous claim.
- 9. Prefer direct wording Original: challenging Suggested revision: difficult Why it matters: Difficult communicates the same meaning more directly in this analytical sentence.
- 10. Sharpen final phrase Original: overall landscape of human connection Suggested revision: quality of human connection Why it matters: The revision states the relevant outcome more precisely and avoids an abstract metaphor.
Suggested Rewrites
- a reduction in the personal nature of interactions less personal interaction
- can lack the richness may lack some of the richness
- introduced new dimensions to human connection created new ways for people to connect
- absence lack
- the range of expressive elements available the range of available expressive cues
- Moreover However
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is fluent, cohesive, and linguistically precise, with well-developed explanations of how electronic and face-to-face communication differ. The main limitation is that its position on the agree-or-disagree question remains somewhat indirect: it acknowledges reduced personal richness yet ends by emphasizing compensating benefits without clearly weighing them. The highest priority is to state a definite qualified stance and make every body paragraph advance that judgment consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly explores the claim and develops relevant contrasts, but its final degree of agreement is implied rather than stated with complete clarity.
State explicitly whether the loss of personal qualities outweighs the benefits of email and telephone, then align the conclusion firmly with that judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is easy to follow, paragraphs are well focused, and cohesive devices work effectively, although the internal shift within the second paragraph slightly weakens progression.
Separate or more clearly signpost the move from the limitations of electronic contact to its advantages so that each paragraph has one unmistakable controlling purpose.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and naturally controlled, with effective expressions for emotional nuance, clarity, intimacy, and trust.
Maintain this precision while making evaluative language more explicit when comparing the relative importance of personal warmth and communicative efficiency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately and flexibly, with punctuation and sentence control consistently supporting meaning.
Refine already strong control by varying the openings of analytical sentences and retaining the same accuracy in a more explicitly evaluative argument.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.