Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
The modern communication system, with its innovations like phones and emails, has made our life comfortable while making communication cheaper, faster and widespread. However, some people express their concern that with the dependency on such technology and tools, comes the downfall of personal relation and interaction. I, however, disagree as I believe that they do not hurt human interaction or relation, rather accelerate it. To initiate with, emails, mobile phones and the internet help people stay connected with their dear ones no matter the distance. Before we had emails and cell phones, they could scarcely communicate with their family members. For instance, one of my cousins studies in New Zealand and he makes video calls, voice calls and sends emails and SMS to his family and friends almost daily, sometimes even multiple times a day. Thirty years ago my uncle had been in this same country, and he could rarely contact his family. A single letter he used to write sometimes took more than a month to reach his family. Thanks to modern technology, communication is more personal and more frequent than at any time in history. Moreover, modern communication methods save time and cost to a great extent and reach beyond borders. The speed of electronic mails and phone calls are amazing. They are live and instantaneous. Many of these services are free and takes almost no additional cost than just the internet bills. This is unprecedented since in the past international calls used to cost an arm and a leg of people. With technology in place, people nowadays are making new friends beyond borders. So it would not be an exaggeration to state that technology has made it possible to keep more personal relationships than ever. For example, Facebook has helped me find many of my childhood friends, and some of them live in faraway countries, perhaps with whom I would not be in touch otherwise. In conclusion, I would like to say that, telephones and emails have many positive impacts on our relationship and communication. Without those, modern-day communication would have been broken and infrequent.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural pronoun requires the plural noun when referring to people's lives collectively.
- 2. Use natural plurals Original: personal relation and interaction Suggested revision: personal relationships and interactions Why it matters: The plural forms express general human connections more naturally.
- 3. Clarify the contrast Original: relation, rather accelerate it Suggested revision: relationships; rather, they strengthen them Why it matters: The revision fixes the unclear pronoun reference and uses a natural verb for relationships.
- 4. Use correct phrase Original: initiate Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: The conventional linking phrase is 'To begin with'.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: video calls, voice calls Suggested revision: video and voice calls Why it matters: Combining the shared noun makes the list more concise.
- 6. Use parallel nouns Original: emails and SMS Suggested revision: emails and text messages Why it matters: 'Text messages' is a clearer countable noun parallel to 'emails'.
- 7. Fix past tense Original: had been in this same country Suggested revision: lived in the same country Why it matters: The simple past is required for this completed past situation.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: cost Suggested revision: money Why it matters: English normally pairs 'save time' with 'save money', not 'save cost'.
- 9. Use natural term Original: electronic mails Suggested revision: emails Why it matters: 'Emails' is the standard term in this context.
- 10. Fix agreement Original: phone calls are amazing Suggested revision: phone calls is remarkable Why it matters: The head noun 'speed' is singular, so it requires 'is'.
- 11. Fix verb structure Original: services are free and takes Suggested revision: services are free or require Why it matters: The revision fixes agreement and creates a logical alternative between free and low-cost services.
- 12. Clarify the cost Original: almost no additional cost than just the internet bills Suggested revision: little more than an internet connection Why it matters: The original comparison is ungrammatical and uses an unnatural plural noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- personal relation and interaction personal relationships and interactions
- relation, rather accelerate it relationships; rather, they strengthen them
- initiate begin
- video calls, voice calls video and voice calls
- emails and SMS emails and text messages
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with relevant comparisons between past and present communication, including concrete personal examples. Its main limitation is that several points demonstrate greater frequency, reach, or affordability more clearly than they demonstrate a more personal quality, while awkward collocations and grammar errors recur. Prioritise explaining how each technological benefit strengthens the personal nature of relationships, then proofread agreement and word-choice errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant examples, though some development focuses on convenience rather than personal interaction itself.
Explain more explicitly how increased contact, speed, and reach improve the personal quality of relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through relevant points, but the absence of clear paragraph divisions weakens the overall organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with focused central purposes.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, although several awkward or imprecise collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace strained combinations such as language about accelerating relationships or costs with more idiomatic, precise expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, but agreement, punctuation, and reference errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, especially in sentences containing long or compound subjects.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.