Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The modern communication system, with its innovations like phones and emails, has made our liveslife comfortable while making communication cheaper, faster and widespread. However, some people express their concern that with the dependency on such technology and tools, comes the downfall of personal relationships and interactionspersonal relation and interaction. I, however, disagree as I believe that they do not hurt human interaction or relationships; rather, they strengthen themrelation, rather accelerate it. To begininitiate with, emails, mobile phones and the internet help people stay connected with their dear ones no matter the distance. Before we had emails and cell phones, they could scarcely communicate with their family members. For instance, one of my cousins studies in New Zealand and he makes video and voice callsvideo calls, voice calls and sends emails and text messagesemails and SMS to his family and friends almost daily, sometimes even multiple times a day. Thirty years ago my uncle lived in the same countryhad been in this same country, and he could rarely contact his family. A single letter he used to write sometimes took more than a month to reach his family. Thanks to modern technology, communication is more personal and more frequent than at any time in history. Moreover, modern communication methods save time and moneycost to a great extent and reach beyond borders. The speed of emailselectronic mails and phone calls is remarkablephone calls are amazing. They are live and instantaneous. Many of these services are free or requireservices are free and takes little more than an internet connectionalmost no additional cost than just the internet bills. This is unprecedented since in the past international calls used to cost people an arm and a legcost an arm and a leg of people. With technology in place, people nowadays are making new friends beyond borders. So it would not be an exaggeration to state that technology has made it possible to maintainkeep more personal relationships than ever. For example, Facebook has helped me find many of my childhood friends, and some of them live in faraway countries, perhaps with whom I would not be in touch otherwise. In conclusion, I would like to say thatsay that, telephones and emails have many positive impacts on our relationshipsrelationship and communication. Without those, modern-day communication would be far more limited and infrequentwould have been broken and infrequent.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with relevant comparisons between past and present communication, including concrete personal examples. Its main limitation is that several points demonstrate greater frequency, reach, or affordability more clearly than they demonstrate a more personal quality, while awkward collocations and grammar errors recur. Prioritise explaining how each technological benefit strengthens the personal nature of relationships, then proofread agreement and word-choice errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant examples, though some development focuses on convenience rather than personal interaction itself.
Explain more explicitly how increased contact, speed, and reach improve the personal quality of relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through relevant points, but the absence of clear paragraph divisions weakens the overall organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main idea, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with focused central purposes.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, although several awkward or imprecise collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace strained combinations such as language about accelerating relationships or costs with more idiomatic, precise expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, but agreement, punctuation, and reference errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, especially in sentences containing long or compound subjects.