In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Governments must always balance demands for newer modes of transport, including newer railway lines to connect cities, with maintaining current transportation infrastructure. In my opinion, the maintanence of current transport has a greater overall impact although the importance of fast trains will make life more convenient for commuters in the short-term.
The rationale for investing in newer, faster railway lines is that they will make it easier for people to travel between cities. Recent examples of this can be seen in Japan, which is famous for its ‘bullet trains’ that allow residents to traverse the country in a matter of hours. This provides an economic boon by allowing businessmen to travel easily from city to city. Moreover, tourists can also use these trains for convenient transnational travel, thereby making the country more tourist-friendly and helping to expand the industry.
Although I concede the above advantages, the majority of people are served by already existing forms of public transportation. Tourists and businessmen travelling between cities are the exception compared with those travelling inside cities. These travellers rely on buses, subways and city streets to get around. Simple improvements or additions to a subway line impacts millions of people. A new bus route can help workers get to and from work more easily. Even the lowering of fares is a reform that would benefit less affluent travellers.
In conclusion, cities that are more concerned with actual improvements, rather than publicity grabbing headlines, should focus on the most-used forms of public transport. In the future high speed rails may even become redundant as people commute less and transition to jobs based primarily online.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct spelling Original: maintanence Suggested revision: maintenance Why it matters: The noun 'maintenance' is misspelled.
- 2. Use precise term Original: current transport has Suggested revision: existing public transport has Why it matters: This wording matches the specific transport system discussed in the task.
- 3. Add contrast comma Original: impact although Suggested revision: impact, although Why it matters: A comma should introduce the contrasting subordinate clause.
- 4. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: in the short-term Suggested revision: in the short term Why it matters: The noun phrase 'short term' is not hyphenated in this position.
- 5. Match singular example Original: Recent examples of this Suggested revision: A recent example of this Why it matters: The paragraph gives one country as the example, so a singular noun phrase is needed.
- 6. Choose accurate term Original: transnational travel Suggested revision: travel across the country Why it matters: 'Transnational' means crossing national borders, whereas this example concerns travel within one country.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: already existing forms Suggested revision: existing forms Why it matters: 'Existing' already conveys that these forms are currently in place.
- 8. Fix subject agreement Original: impacts Suggested revision: impact Why it matters: The plural subject 'improvements or additions' requires the plural verb 'impact'.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: based Suggested revision: performed Why it matters: Jobs are more naturally described as being performed rather than based online.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Tourists and businessmen travelling between cities are the exception compared with those travelling inside cities. Suggested revision: Tourists and businesspeople travelling between cities are fewer than those travelling within cities. Why it matters: The original comparison uses 'the exception compared with' incorrectly and needs a direct comparative structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- maintanence maintenance
- current transport has existing public transport has
- impact although impact, although
- in the short-term in the short term
- Recent examples of this A recent example of this
- transnational travel travel across the country
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear preference and supports both sides with relevant, logically developed examples, while maintaining a confident academic style. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision, including a questionable description of domestic rail travel and a speculative final point that is not fully developed. Prioritise more exact wording and ensure every concluding claim directly consolidates the preceding argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the position is consistent, and the supporting reasons are relevant and well developed.
Replace the speculative final prediction with a more fully justified comparison of the two spending priorities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Make the conclusion track the body arguments more closely instead of introducing a new future-work claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions such as economic boon and less affluent travellers.
Improve lexical precision by correcting choices such as transnational for travel within one country and the spelling of maintenance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and compound modifiers, especially in phrases such as improvements impact and high-speed rail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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