Due to the effects of globalisation, the cultures of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Globalization has undeniably increased interconnectedness between countriesfostered interconnectedness among countries, leading to the exchange of ideas, values, and cultural practiceselements. While some view this exchangesome perceive this as a natural and enriching process, others argue that it poses a significant threat to cultural identity. In this essay, I will examinedelve into both perspectives and explain why I believe that the influence of one culture on another can jeopardizeindeed jeopardize the unique identity of nations.
On the one hand, supportersproponents of cultural globalization argue that it is a natural consequence of increased communication and cross-border interactionglobal interaction. They contend that exposure to different customs and traditions broadensenhances cultural diversity, fostering a more inclusive and tolerant global society. For example, the widespread popularity of international cuisines worldwidein various countries demonstrates the benefitspositive aspects of cultural exchange, creating a melting pot of culinary diversity.
On the other hand, there is a growing concern that the influence of dominant cultures can overshadow and erode the distinctive features of smaller or less influential nations. This is particularly evident in the prevalence of Western ideals in media, fashion, and lifestyle choices, often at the expense of indigenous traditions. For instance, the global dominance of Hollywood movies and Western fashion trends can lead to the marginalization of local film industries and traditional clothing styles.
Personally, I align with the viewpoint that globalization poses a threat to cultural identity. While cultural exchange can be enriching, the imbalance in influence can lead to cultural homogenization, where unique traditions risk fading into obscurity.
In conclusion, the effects of globalization on cultural exchange evoke contrasting opinions. While some see it as a natural and positive evolution, others raise valid concerns about its potential threat to cultural identity. However, it is evident that it often threatens the local traditions and even erodes the cultural identity of a nation.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay offers a clear, well-organised discussion of both perspectives and sustains a definite opinion with relevant examples. Its main limitation is that some reasoning remains broad and familiar, particularly the benefits of cultural exchange, while the conclusion repeats earlier claims. The strongest improvement would be to develop the causal analysis more deeply and qualify how unequal cultural influence produces the stated consequences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the opinion is clear throughout, and each main idea is supported with a relevant example.
Deepen the analysis by explaining more precisely when cultural exchange becomes enrichment and when unequal influence becomes erosion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, a personal position, and a conclusion.
Make the final paragraph more selective so it synthesises the argument instead of largely restating earlier positions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective terms such as ‘cultural homogenization’ and ‘marginalization’.
Refine a few conventional or slightly awkward phrases, such as ‘evoke contrasting opinions’ and ‘threatens the local traditions’, for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor imperfections do not impede communication.
For further refinement, vary sentence openings and reduce reliance on introductory participial phrases while preserving the current accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Due to the effects of globalisation, the cultures of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.