Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Space travel has been a reality for decades, and with the advances in technology, space tourism is believed to be full of potential. While there are both benefits and drawbacks to space tourism, I ultimately believe that it is a positive development.
On the one hand, certain negative aspects of space tourism justify the doubts surrounding it. Firstly, it could be exorbitant due to the cost of equipment and preparation involved, limiting its availability to a select group of extremely wealthy people. Space tourism would, as a result, likely become a status symbol to further drive a wedge between the rich and the poor in society. In addition, there are possible environmental concerns, as rockets used for space travel discharge a great amount of emission. As commercial flights have already been criticized for their impact on the environment, popularizing space tourism may deteriorate the situation by adding another source of air pollution.
Nevertheless, the possible advantages of space tourism are significant. Economically, it could open up a new industry, creating jobs and stimulating growth. This would be especially beneficial for the manufacturing and engineering sectors, providing a much-needed boost for countries with a competitive edge in said sectors. Space tourism, furthermore, is able to offer travelers breathtaking perspectives of the Earth, so they can appreciate the meaning of life on our planet. Many astronauts have recounted their experience of seeing the Earth from space as a transformative influence in that it helped them see past the wars and struggles on the planet. Consequently, ordinary people who embark on such a trip could reach the same conclusion, increasing the overall positivity among mankind. It can be argued from these points that the benefits of space tourism would overshadow its drawbacks, justifying the effort to help it progress.
In my opinion, developing space travel for recreation is largely positive, both economically and educationally. Because of the existing concerns, however, it is ultimately essential to weigh both the advantages and disadvantages before making the decision for it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: with the advances in technology Suggested revision: with advances in technology Why it matters: The plural noun refers generally to technological progress, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: believed to be full of potential Suggested revision: expected to have considerable potential Why it matters: This wording states the prediction more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Clarify the relationship Original: justify the doubts surrounding it Suggested revision: explain the concerns surrounding it Why it matters: Negative aspects explain concerns rather than justify the existence of doubts.
- 4. Complete the cost meaning Original: it could be exorbitant Suggested revision: it could be prohibitively expensive Why it matters: Exorbitant normally modifies a price or cost, while prohibitively expensive can describe the activity itself.
- 5. Streamline the connector Original: would, as a result, likely become Suggested revision: would therefore likely become Why it matters: Integrating the result connector removes unnecessary interruption from the verb phrase.
- 6. Fix logical coordination Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The inequality is presented as an additional consequence, not the purpose of becoming a status symbol.
- 7. Fix noun form Original: a great amount of emission Suggested revision: large quantities of emissions Why it matters: Emissions is normally countable and plural when referring to pollutants released by rockets.
- 8. Use the transitive verb Original: deteriorate Suggested revision: worsen Why it matters: Worsen is the more natural transitive verb for making an existing problem more severe.
- 9. Avoid legalistic wording Original: said Suggested revision: those Why it matters: Those refers back to the named sectors clearly and in an appropriately neutral register.
- 10. Use precise vocabulary Original: overall positivity among mankind Suggested revision: overall optimism among humanity Why it matters: Optimism names the positive outlook more precisely, and humanity is more inclusive than mankind.
- 11. Fix complement structure Original: the decision for it Suggested revision: a decision to pursue it Why it matters: Decision takes a to-infinitive when it introduces the action being considered.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Many astronauts have recounted their experience of seeing the Earth from space as a transformative influence in that it helped them see past the wars and struggles on the planet. Suggested revision: Many astronauts have described seeing the Earth from space as a transformative experience that helped them look beyond the wars and struggles on the planet. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the awkward phrase transformative influence in that while preserving the original claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- with the advances in technology with advances in technology
- believed to be full of potential expected to have considerable potential
- justify the doubts surrounding it explain the concerns surrounding it
- it could be exorbitant it could be prohibitively expensive
- would, as a result, likely become would therefore likely become
- to and
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is strongest in its purposeful comparison of environmental and social concerns with economic and experiential benefits, supported by a clear positive judgment. The main limitation is that the final qualification weakens that judgment slightly, while some speculative claims and awkward word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to make the conclusion decisively reflect the earlier weighing of evidence and express the less tangible benefits more concretely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the required judgment, considers relevant drawbacks and benefits, and develops its positive position with substantial support.
End with a firmer judgment that explains why the stated benefits outweigh the concerns instead of returning to a general need to weigh both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from a stated position through contrasting sections to an explicit overall evaluation.
Tighten the final paragraph so it consolidates the comparison without introducing a slightly hesitant closing message.
Lexical Resource
The writer demonstrates broad and flexible vocabulary, though several collocations concerning emissions, positivity, and development are imprecise.
Replace abstract or awkward phrases with more natural terms, such as carbon emissions, social outlook, and responsible industry development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and generally accurate, with strong control of subordination, modification, and punctuation.
Polish the few structurally awkward clauses so that pronoun references and cause-and-effect relationships are immediately clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.