Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Traveling through space has been a reality for centuries now, which has led some to think that space tourism could witness considerable growth in the future, allowing ordinary people to visit outer space. Despite the potential drawbacks, I hold the belief that this is primarily a positive development.
One of the main challenges of space tourism is the safety of the space tourists and the spacecraft. Space travel can pose certain hazards, such as radiation exposure, extreme temperatures, collisions with space debris, and health problems caused by microgravity. These risks could result in serious injuries or even fatalities for the space travelers, as well as damage or loss of the spacecraft. Another barrier to the development of space tourism is the high cost. By way of illustration, Space Adventures, a company that offers orbital flights to private citizens, charges up to $55 million per person for a 10-day mission to the International Space Station. Such exorbitant costs may threaten the profitability of this business, especially during financial recessions.
Despite these challenges, I think that space tourism can offer significant benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. One of the main advantages of space tourism is that it could boost the economy of the aerospace industry and create new opportunities for innovation and research. According to TS2 Space, space tourism has already generated jobs and investment in the private space sector, as well as revenue for governments, meaning that the industry has the potential to make substantial profit, despite arguments to the contrary. Another benefit is that space tourism could encourage the exploration of new resources and discoveries that could benefit humanity and the planet. For instance, space tourism could help advance scientific knowledge about the origin of life, the solar system, and the universe, which could prove to be valuable when humanity’s long-term survival is considered.
In conclusion, space tourism faces significant challenges and risks that need to be carefully addressed and regulated, such as the safety of the space tourists and the spacecraft and the price barrier. However, I believe that it is in large measure a positive development, given its positive impacts on the economy, science, and society, including boosting the aerospace industry and facilitating important discoveries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve growth collocation Original: witness Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: An industry or activity more naturally “experiences” growth than “witnesses” it.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: I hold the belief Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: The shorter form conveys the same position more directly.
- 3. Remove unnecessary articles Original: is the safety of the space tourists and the spacecraft Suggested revision: is the safety of space tourists and spacecraft Why it matters: Zero articles suit these plural and uncountable nouns when they are discussed generally.
- 4. Fix parallel complements Original: damage or loss of the spacecraft Suggested revision: damage to or loss of the spacecraft Why it matters: “Damage” takes “to,” while “loss” correctly takes “of.”
- 5. Clarify commercial effect Original: profitability Suggested revision: viability Why it matters: “Viability” better expresses whether the expensive service can remain commercially sustainable.
- 6. Remove awkward phrase Original: boost the economy of the aerospace industry Suggested revision: boost the aerospace industry Why it matters: An industry can be boosted directly, whereas “the economy of an industry” is awkward.
- 7. Use precise collocations Original: generated jobs and investment Suggested revision: created jobs and attracted investment Why it matters: Jobs are “created” and investment is “attracted” in standard economic phrasing.
- 8. Use plural profits Original: profit Suggested revision: profits Why it matters: The general business meaning conventionally uses the plural count noun “profits.”
- 9. Fix parallel nouns Original: exploration of new resources and discoveries Suggested revision: exploration of new resources and pursuit of new discoveries Why it matters: The revision gives each coordinated noun an appropriate governing expression.
- 10. Use direct relation Original: when humanity’s long-term survival is considered Suggested revision: for humanity’s long-term survival Why it matters: The prepositional phrase states the relevance more directly and naturally.
- 11. Choose natural adverb Original: in large measure Suggested revision: largely Why it matters: “Largely” expresses the intended degree more concisely in this sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- witness experience
- I hold the belief I believe
- is the safety of the space tourists and the spacecraft is the safety of space tourists and spacecraft
- damage or loss of the spacecraft damage to or loss of the spacecraft
- profitability viability
- boost the economy of the aerospace industry boost the aerospace industry
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, sustained position, supported by a well-organised evaluation of both the risks and benefits of space tourism. The main limitation is that a few claims, particularly the link between tourism and major scientific discoveries, are somewhat broad or overstated, while occasional wording is slightly awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to make causal support more precise and factually measured.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, maintains a clear positive position, and develops relevant drawbacks and benefits in substantial detail.
Refine the support for the scientific benefits by explaining more precisely how tourism itself would produce those outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear paragraph sequence, with cohesive devices used effectively and unobtrusively overall.
Reduce minor repetition of the topic phrase and make the transition from commercial benefits to scientific benefits even tighter.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, with only occasional awkward or slightly overstated expressions.
Choose more measured phrasing for factual claims and replace less natural combinations such as references to a price barrier.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Polish the rare article and countability choices while preserving the current variety and clarity of sentence structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.