Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is true that online courses are becoming a common feature of university education. Although there are some drawbacks of Internet-based learning, I would argue that there are far more benefits.
The main drawback of the trend towards online university courses is that there is less direct interaction. Students may not have the opportunity to engage face-to-face with their teachers, and will instead have to rely on written forms of communication. Similarly, students who study online do not come into direct contact with each other, and this could have a negative impact on peer support, discussion and exchange of ideas. For example, whereas students on traditional courses can attend seminars and even discuss their subjects over coffee after lessons, online learners are restricted to chatting through website forum areas. These learners may also lack the motivation and element of competition that face-to-face group work brings.
Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe that online university courses are a positive development for various reasons. Firstly, they allow learners to study in a flexible way, meaning that they can work whenever and wherever is convenient, and they can cover the material at their own pace. Secondly, the cost of a university education can be greatly reduced, while revenues for institutions may increase as more students can be taught. Finally, online learning offers open access to anybody who is willing to study, regardless of age, location, ability and background. For example, my uncle, who is 65 years old, has recently enrolled on an online MBA course in a different country, which would have been impossible in the days before Internet-based education.
In conclusion, while I recognise the possible disadvantages of online learning, I consider it to be a positive development overall.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Refine the collocation Original: of Suggested revision: to Why it matters: 'Drawbacks to' is the more natural collocation when identifying disadvantages of an approach.
- 2. Use a precise verb Original: engage Suggested revision: interact Why it matters: 'Interact' describes reciprocal communication more precisely than 'engage' in this context.
- 3. Remove the internal comma Original: , and will instead Suggested revision: and will instead Why it matters: The two verb phrases share the subject 'Students', so a comma before 'and' is unnecessary.
- 4. Use the standard term Original: website forum areas Suggested revision: online forums Why it matters: 'Online forums' is the concise, conventional term for these discussion spaces.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: element Suggested revision: sense Why it matters: 'Sense of competition' is the more natural expression for the motivating feeling described.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: negatives Suggested revision: drawbacks Why it matters: 'Drawbacks' is more precise and formal than the nominalised adjective 'negatives'.
- 7. Make the phrase concise Original: study in a flexible way Suggested revision: study flexibly Why it matters: The adverb conveys the same meaning more concisely.
- 8. Add the clause subject Original: whenever and wherever is convenient Suggested revision: whenever and wherever it is convenient Why it matters: The coordinated clauses require the explicit subject 'it' before 'is convenient'.
- 9. Clarify the connection Original: while revenues for institutions may increase Suggested revision: and institutions may earn more revenue Why it matters: 'And' clearly presents this as an additional benefit rather than an implied contrast.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: open access to anybody Suggested revision: open access for anyone Why it matters: 'Access for' naturally identifies the people to whom the opportunity is available.
- 11. Clarify the location Original: an online MBA course in a different country Suggested revision: an online MBA course offered in another country Why it matters: Adding 'offered' makes clear that the institution, rather than the online course itself, is located abroad.
Suggested Rewrites
- of to
- engage interact
- , and will instead and will instead
- website forum areas online forums
- element sense
- negatives drawbacks
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response fully answers the question with a clear, consistent judgement and develops both the principal drawback and several substantial benefits through precise explanation and examples. Organisation is effortless, and the language is varied, natural, and highly accurate. To improve further, the writer could deepen the brief cost-and-institutional-revenue point so that every supporting idea receives equally complete development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the development, sustains a clear positive judgement, and supports both sides with relevant, well-developed ideas.
Extend the compressed point about reduced costs and increased institutional revenue to match the depth of the other supporting arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced with excellent control, and cohesive devices, referencing, and paragraphing make the progression consistently easy to follow.
For maximum refinement, vary the overt numerical signposting in the benefits paragraph while preserving its exceptionally clear progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective control of topic-specific terms and sophisticated collocations throughout.
Continue refining lexical precision by choosing an even more exact expression than the slightly general reference to website forum areas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with punctuation and sentence control maintained throughout.
Maintain this high accuracy while experimenting with slightly greater structural variation in the sequence of benefit statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.