Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Education and health care are two essential aspects of every human life. Without proper education and a good health care system, no nation can sustain, let alone progress ahead. Considering its significance, some people express their opinion that it is the responsibility of the government to ensure quality education and health service to its citizens. I strongly agree with this viewpoint. To commence with, according to the “National Sample” survey of India in 2019, people had to spend more than 35 per cent of their wages on health care and schooling. In a developing country, it is quite hard for citizens to manage it all on their own, especially since education and treatment are getting expensive every year. So, these should be free as poor people cannot afford higher education and a good health care system. Moreover, if the government provides free education, the literacy rate will surely increase and the citizens would contribute far better to the overall development of the country. So, in this way, the economy of that country will flourish day by day. Besides, another recent survey in India shows that almost 38% of people die every year without proper treatment because they can not afford expensive medical services. Since healthy citizens are the pillar of a prosperous nation, the government should intervene and make efforts to ensure proper healthcare for all. This way the country would develop faster while citizens would not be deprived of their basic rights. For instance, many countries, that are now considered developed, has had free medical care for all citizens and that boosted up their national development over the last few decades. In conclusion, if education and medical facility are provided by the government for free to its citizens, then a country will get more benefits from it. Education and healthy life are two basic needs of every citizen and a government is, in fact, formed to make sure no citizen is denied of their basic needs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add reflexive object Original: no nation can sustain Suggested revision: no nation can sustain itself Why it matters: “Sustain” is transitive here and needs an object referring back to the nation.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: progress ahead Suggested revision: progress Why it matters: “Progress” already means moving ahead, so the adverb is redundant.
- 3. Clarify plural reference Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The pronoun should refer to both education and health care.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: health service to its citizens Suggested revision: health services for its citizens Why it matters: The plural phrase “health services for” is more natural when describing public provision.
- 5. Make reference precise Original: manage it all on their own Suggested revision: cover these costs on their own Why it matters: The revision identifies the financial burden instead of using the vague pronoun “it.”
- 6. Keep conditional consistent Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The preceding if-clause uses a real future condition, so “will” should match “will surely increase.”
- 7. Fix relative clause agreement Original: many countries, that are now considered developed, has had Suggested revision: many countries that are now considered developed have had Why it matters: The defining relative clause takes no commas, and the plural subject requires “have.”
- 8. Use precise verb Original: boosted up their national development Suggested revision: accelerated their national development Why it matters: “Accelerated” expresses the intended effect more naturally than “boosted up.”
- 9. Match noun and verb Original: facility Suggested revision: facilities Why it matters: The plural verb “are” requires the plural noun “facilities.”
- 10. Improve word order Original: provided by the government for free to its citizens Suggested revision: provided free of charge by the government to its citizens Why it matters: The revision places “free of charge” naturally while preserving the original meaning.
- 11. Remove extra preposition Original: denied of their basic needs Suggested revision: denied their basic needs Why it matters: The verb “deny” takes a direct object in this structure.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: two essential aspects of every human life Suggested revision: two essential aspects of human life Why it matters: The general phrase “human life” is more natural than referring to each life individually.
Suggested Rewrites
- no nation can sustain no nation can sustain itself
- progress ahead progress
- its their
- health service to its citizens health services for its citizens
- manage it all on their own cover these costs on their own
- would will
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and develops several relevant benefits of free education and healthcare with generally effective explanation. The principal weakness is the absence of visible paragraphing, which makes otherwise logical stages of the argument harder to navigate, while some claims and examples could be more precise. The highest priority is to separate the introduction, main ideas, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with carefully qualified support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant arguments about affordability and national development.
Strengthen the support by using more credible, carefully explained examples and by acknowledging the practical implications of universal provision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear signposting, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens organisation and reader navigation.
Divide the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for education and healthcare, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary with generally clear meaning, although repetition and several awkward collocations reduce precision.
Replace imprecise phrases such as progress ahead and boosted up with concise, natural academic wording and vary repeated references to development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, but agreement, punctuation, and a few construction errors remain noticeable.
Proofread relative clauses, subject-verb agreement, and fixed constructions such as denied access to basic services.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.