Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Access to healthcare and education is crucial for the development and progress of a nation, and many suggest for free education and healthcare for the citizens of a country. I agree with the view as I think that the responsibility of providing these services for free should fall on the government.
Firstly, education and healthcare are basic human rights that should be accessible to all individuals regardless of their financial status. It is the government's responsibility to ensure that its citizens have equal access to education and healthcare, which in turn, promotes equality and social justice. If education and healthcare are left to be paid for by individuals, only those who can afford them will be able to access quality services, creating a gap between the rich and the poor.
Secondly, a healthy and educated population is essential for economic growth and development. By providing free schooling and healthcare, the government can ensure that its citizens are healthy and equipped with the necessary skills to contribute to the economy. This can lead to a more prosperous and developed nation.
Finally, providing free education and healthcare can reduce the burden on the public. If individuals have to pay for these services, they may have to make difficult financial decisions that can negatively impact their lives. In some cases, some individuals may not seek medical attention or education due to financial constraints, leading to a decrease in overall well-being and productivity.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. This ensures that all individuals have equal access to these basic human rights, promotes economic growth, and reduces the burden on the public. It is the government's responsibility to invest in the well-being and education of its citizens to create a better future for all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant stance Original: I agree with the view as I think that Suggested revision: I agree because Why it matters: The original uses two overlapping stance phrases before giving the reason.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Responsibility takes for before a gerund describing the duty.
- 3. Set off the phrase Original: which in turn, promotes Suggested revision: which, in turn, promotes Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase in turn should be enclosed by commas.
- 4. Use active structure Original: left to be paid for by individuals Suggested revision: left for individuals to pay for Why it matters: The active infinitive structure expresses who pays more clearly.
- 5. Improve parallel meaning Original: are healthy and equipped with Suggested revision: remain healthy and gain Why it matters: The revision coordinates a health outcome with the acquisition of skills more naturally.
- 6. Name the reference Original: This can lead Suggested revision: This investment can lead Why it matters: Naming the investment gives the demonstrative a clear referent.
- 7. Specify the burden Original: reduce the burden on the public Suggested revision: reduce the financial burden on individuals Why it matters: Financial burden identifies the precise pressure described in the following sentences.
- 8. Use a direct verb Original: impact Suggested revision: affect Why it matters: Affect is a more direct verb for describing adverse consequences here.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: This ensures that Suggested revision: Doing so ensures that Why it matters: Doing so refers explicitly to making the two services free and government-funded.
- 10. Use parallel terms Original: invest in the well-being and education Suggested revision: invest in the health and education Why it matters: Health aligns more precisely and symmetrically with the two services discussed throughout the essay.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Access to healthcare and education is crucial for the development and progress of a nation, and many suggest for free education and healthcare for the citizens of a country. Suggested revision: Access to healthcare and education is crucial to a nation's development and progress, and many people therefore advocate providing both services free of charge to all citizens. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the verb pattern after advocate and removes repetitive wording.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: In some cases, some individuals may not seek medical attention or education due to financial constraints, leading to a decrease in overall well-being and productivity. Suggested revision: In some cases, individuals may forgo medical care or education because of financial constraints, reducing overall well-being and productivity. Why it matters: The revision removes repetition and uses a more natural verb for services people cannot obtain.
Suggested Rewrites
- I agree with the view as I think that I agree because
- of for
- which in turn, promotes which, in turn, promotes
- left to be paid for by individuals left for individuals to pay for
- are healthy and equipped with remain healthy and gain
- This can lead This investment can lead
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents an unequivocal position and supports it with a well-organized sequence of relevant arguments, while sentence control is consistently strong. The discussion remains somewhat general, however, because claims about equality, growth, and financial burden are asserted without specific illustration or deeper qualification. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two arguments with concrete examples and more detailed causal analysis.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and all arguments are relevant, but development relies on broad assertions rather than specific, fully explored support.
Add a concrete example and explain the causal chain behind at least one major social or economic benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through focused paragraphs, although the sequencing is somewhat formulaic and key terms are repeated frequently.
Use more varied transitions and reference devices to connect related ideas without repeatedly naming education and healthcare.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of appropriate vocabulary conveys ideas precisely, with occasional awkward phrasing and noticeable repetition of topic terms.
Improve natural collocation in phrases such as suggest for free education and vary repeated expressions where clarity permits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex sentences is used with strong control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Polish minor agreement, punctuation, and repetition issues in complex clauses to make accuracy more consistent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Heathcare and education are two important aspects of a nation and its population. Therefore, some people suggest that education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.