The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The population of the world is increasing each day and more and more people in most of the countries are moving to the big cities for the hope of a better life and this trend has an ultimate consequence of housing problem. I believe that government has a vital role to solve the problem by decentralising the big cities and by building industries in remote areas of the main cities.
The big cities of a country have more job opportunities than the rural and remote areas and this is the major reason people every day moving to big cities. Since most of the industries, office perimeters and other organisations are situated in the city areas and these create a high potential for all level of people to earn their living. The agriculture of the village are not profitable anymore and the over increasing price of agricultural products bound the farmers to have an alternative profession and to move to a big city. Second reason, so many people move to big cities, is the educational institutes are mostly in the city areas and students each year come to these metropolitan cities for a better education. There are lots more reasons people moving to cities each day and I believe the government has the vital role to stop this phenomenon by decentralising the city areas. There is no necessity for a University to be situated in the centre of a city and the government can easily force the organisations and industries to move to remote areas and new industries to be built outside the main city.
More people need more houses to stay in, and as people moving to the cities daily the rent of the apartments are increasing dramatically. Many people with an average income can’t afford to rent a room and living a miserable life. There are lots of street-living people who cause the city become more polluted. Due to street-life and because of over increasing housing problem, the number of violence and crime are increasing too.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: in most of the countries Suggested revision: in most countries Why it matters: The general plural noun does not require the definite article here.
- 2. Correct fixed phrase Original: for Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The standard expression for describing a motivating expectation is 'in the hope of'.
- 3. Clarify housing consequence Original: an ultimate consequence of housing problem Suggested revision: an eventual housing shortage Why it matters: This wording expresses the intended consequence clearly and naturally.
- 4. Fix article and pattern Original: government has a vital role to solve Suggested revision: the government has a vital role in solving Why it matters: Government needs an article in this context, and 'role in solving' is the correct pattern.
- 5. Resolve location contradiction Original: remote areas of the main cities Suggested revision: areas outside the main cities Why it matters: An area cannot logically be both remote and part of the main city in this claim.
- 6. Use natural noun phrase Original: The agriculture of the village Suggested revision: Agriculture in villages Why it matters: The uncountable activity is expressed naturally without the definite article or an 'of' phrase.
- 7. Match singular subject Original: are not profitable anymore Suggested revision: is no longer profitable Why it matters: The uncountable subject 'agriculture' requires a singular verb.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: over increasing price Suggested revision: continually rising prices Why it matters: 'Continually rising prices' is the natural expression for repeated price increases.
- 9. Correct tense and meaning Original: bound the farmers Suggested revision: force farmers Why it matters: The present-tense plural subject 'prices' requires 'force', and no article is needed before farmers.
- 10. Improve employment phrase Original: have an alternative profession Suggested revision: seek alternative employment Why it matters: This collocation more accurately expresses changing to another kind of work.
- 11. Complete reason clause Original: There are lots more reasons people moving Suggested revision: There are many more reasons why people move Why it matters: The noun 'reasons' needs a relative clause with a finite verb.
- 12. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The essay introduces one important role rather than a uniquely established role.
Suggested Rewrites
- in most of the countries in most countries
- for in
- an ultimate consequence of housing problem an eventual housing shortage
- government has a vital role to solve the government has a vital role in solving
- remote areas of the main cities areas outside the main cities
- The agriculture of the village Agriculture in villages
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a relevant government-led solution and explains urban migration and housing pressures with generally clear progression. Its main limitation is that it never directly resolves whether government alone can solve the problem, while the final paragraph ends without a conclusion. The highest-priority improvement is to state a precise extent-of-agreement position and develop each government measure as evidence for that position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the housing issue with relevant causes, consequences, and government measures, but its position on whether only government can solve it remains incomplete.
State the exact extent of agreement and make every body paragraph directly support that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress from urban migration and decentralisation to housing consequences, although the long middle paragraph is uneven and the response lacks a concluding section.
Organise each main idea into a focused paragraph and finish with a concise conclusion that restates the position.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a useful range of topic vocabulary, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations and check that each selected word expresses the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, clause, and verb-form errors weaken control.
Prioritise accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures when revising complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.