The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is a fact that population density and the increasing number of housing have created some social problems in many large cities. A group of people believe that the issue could only be solved by the government. I personally agree with the statement and the following essay will discuss it in details. It is true that the increasing population in large cities such as Jakarta, New York or Beijing has created some social issues. Firstly, as the demand for houses in big cities increase, the price of properties has risen by double or triple in the past few years. This situation has affected to the middle and lower income class, as they could not afford to buy houses in the city. Most of them purchase properties in more developed areas of the city and consequently they have to spend more money on transportation to the workplace. Secondly, the high demand of housing areas has created some environment issues. As more houses are built in the cities, the number of parks and trees become lesser and lesser these days. As we all know that trees are beneficial for human beings, as they produce oxygen and absorb pollution. Consequently, air pollution in these cities has become worst than ever these days and the number of people who have respiration problem has increased. In order to restore these conditions, it is the government task to restructure the city, as they are the one who has the power and the authority. The government should stop giving new permits for city developers. They should expand and develop new areas, therefore some of the city’s people will move to the new area and it will gradually reduce the density problem. And then, the government should set strict regulations about developing new real estates in the city, as there should be a proportionate ratio between building and green areas in the city. With a proportionate number of parks and buildings, it is hoped the city became greener and cleaner. In conclusion, I agree that it is the government task to solve the social consequences of density issue. As they have the power and the authority to resolve the issue, they should set measurable campaigns and programs to resolve the problems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a countable noun Original: housing Suggested revision: houses Why it matters: “Number of” must be followed by a countable plural noun.
- 2. Fix fixed phrase Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The standard expression is “in detail” with a singular noun.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: increase Suggested revision: increases Why it matters: The singular subject “demand” requires “increases.”
- 4. Correct change structure Original: has risen by double or triple Suggested revision: has doubled or tripled Why it matters: English uses the verbs “doubled” and “tripled” to describe this scale of increase.
- 5. Fix object structure Original: affected to the middle and lower income class Suggested revision: affected the middle- and lower-income classes Why it matters: “Affect” takes a direct object, and the reference is to two social groups.
- 6. Keep present timeframe Original: they could not afford Suggested revision: they cannot afford Why it matters: The present tense matches the current situation described in the sentence.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: the high demand of housing areas Suggested revision: the high demand for housing Why it matters: The standard collocation is “demand for,” and “housing areas” is unnecessary here.
- 8. Use adjective form Original: environment Suggested revision: environmental Why it matters: The adjective “environmental” is required to modify “issues.”
- 9. Fix agreement and comparison Original: the number of parks and trees become lesser and lesser Suggested revision: the number of parks and trees becomes smaller and smaller Why it matters: The head noun “number” is singular, and “smaller” is the natural comparative for a number.
- 10. Remove faulty conjunction Original: As we all know that Suggested revision: We all know that Why it matters: Using both “as” and “that” creates an incomplete dependent structure.
- 11. Use comparative form Original: worst Suggested revision: worse Why it matters: A comparison with “than” requires “worse,” not the superlative “worst.”
- 12. Use precise medical term Original: people who have respiration problem Suggested revision: people with respiratory problems Why it matters: “Respiratory problems” is the correct and concise expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- housing houses
- details detail
- increase increases
- has risen by double or triple has doubled or tripled
- affected to the middle and lower income class affected the middle- and lower-income classes
- they could not afford they cannot afford
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position and practical sequence from housing pressures to government measures. Its main limitation is that it largely assumes, rather than demonstrates, that only government can solve the problem, and the single-block presentation weakens the organisation. The highest-priority improvement is to evaluate why non-government actors are insufficient and divide the argument into distinct, focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear agreement and develops relevant consequences and government solutions, but it does not sufficiently justify the claim that only government can act.
Compare government powers with the possible roles of developers, communities, or individuals to substantiate the exclusive claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence and uses clear signposting, but the absence of paragraph breaks and some mechanical connectors weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, consequences, solutions, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with clearer internal topic control.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary and some effective formal wording, alongside frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms.
Improve precision in recurring phrases such as housing demand, environmental issues, respiratory problems, and government responsibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences and remains understandable, though agreement, articles, comparatives, plurals, and clause control are frequently inaccurate.
Prioritise subject–verb agreement and article use, then check comparative forms and pronoun reference in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.