Today the world has many urgent problems and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Globalisation, the buzzword of the modern era, has tremendously positive and negative impacts on today’s world. Some people say that the world has many urgent issues to be considered, however yet another group argues that these problems can be solved easily through the cooperation of different nations. The focus of this essay is to scrutinise the problems and solutions by economic and social perspectives and rule out the writer's opinion. First and foremost, from the economic point of view, half of the world is facing a major financial crisis. Financial equilibrium around the world could only be possible with the help of developed countries. Very often underdeveloped countries export their natural resources in cheapest rate for costly technical products and thus fall into debt. To be clear, to resolve these debts country takes loans from World Bank and this continues as a cycle. These kinds of financial burden can be reduced by taking natural resource in the good rate by developed nations. Secondly, when the problems are taken in social perspectives, it is huge in number. One of the main problems is crime and corruption. Increased rate of this has turned the earth into an evil planet. To be precise, the increase in population has affected the resources inversely proportional thus poverty, unemployment extra has stuck the underdeveloped world. The environmental issues are global and no matter which countries are contributing more to pollute the world, all countries would face the consequence. Hence a global bonding and cooperation to solve such urgent issues are required. The developed countries as well as the developing and under developed countries can all work together to reduce the air and environmental pollution of the world. However, some people argue that help from different part of the world cannot solve these kinds of urgent issues from the root itself but only through the collective management of each country can bring about the changes right from the basic level or foundation. Even though helping hand given by the nations could help solve the problems but it takes time thus for a sudden change cooperation from countries will work out within time. To sum up, solving problems are always fast and effective in a team than in individual thus nations co-operation help solve the urgent problems; the government of a country should also take a role in solving the issues which will boost the strength eradicating international problems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use suitable intensifier Original: tremendously Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: ‘Tremendously’ does not naturally modify the paired adjectives ‘positive and negative’.
- 2. Fix contrast link Original: considered, however yet another group Suggested revision: considered, while another group Why it matters: The revision removes redundant contrast markers and avoids a comma splice.
- 3. Fix preposition Original: by Suggested revision: from Why it matters: Issues are examined ‘from’ particular perspectives.
- 4. Fix article and preposition Original: in cheapest rate Suggested revision: at the lowest rates Why it matters: Rates take ‘at’, and the superlative requires ‘the’.
- 5. Clarify exchange relationship Original: for costly technical products Suggested revision: in exchange for costly technological products Why it matters: The revision clearly expresses the trade relationship and uses the appropriate adjective.
- 6. Repair noun phrase Original: to resolve these debts country takes loans Suggested revision: to manage this debt, a country takes out loans Why it matters: The singular count noun needs a determiner, and the standard collocation is ‘take out loans’.
- 7. Add definite article Original: from World Bank Suggested revision: from the World Bank Why it matters: The institution’s name conventionally takes the definite article.
- 8. Fix number agreement Original: burden Suggested revision: burdens Why it matters: ‘Kinds of’ must be followed by a plural count noun here.
- 9. Choose precise verb Original: taking natural resource Suggested revision: purchasing natural resources Why it matters: ‘Purchasing’ conveys the intended economic transaction, and the resource noun should be plural.
- 10. Fix preposition and article Original: in the good rate Suggested revision: at a fair price Why it matters: The natural expression for an acceptable purchase price is ‘at a fair price’.
- 11. Fix passive construction Original: when the problems are taken in social perspectives Suggested revision: when problems are considered from social perspectives Why it matters: The revised passive verb and preposition correctly express the viewpoint of analysis.
- 12. Fix pronoun agreement Original: it is huge in number Suggested revision: they are numerous Why it matters: The plural noun ‘problems’ requires a plural pronoun and verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- tremendously significant
- considered, however yet another group considered, while another group
- by from
- in cheapest rate at the lowest rates
- for costly technical products in exchange for costly technological products
- to resolve these debts country takes loans to manage this debt, a country takes out loans
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers relevant economic and environmental reasons for international cooperation and ultimately states a generally supportive position. Its main limitation is that the position emerges late and several ideas become unclear through imprecise reasoning, awkward wording, and heavily overloaded sentences. The highest-priority improvement is to state the degree of agreement in the introduction and develop two focused examples through shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition and gives relevant examples, but its degree of agreement is initially unclear and development is uneven.
State a precise position at the outset and explain how cooperation solves two selected urgent problems rather than surveying many loosely developed issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad progression from economic to social and environmental issues is visible, but dense sequencing and unclear logical links disrupt coherence.
Use separate paragraphs for each main reason and ensure every supporting sentence clearly explains the claim immediately before it.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices obscure several points.
Prioritise accurate common combinations, replacing expressions such as in cheapest rate, global bonding, and solve from the root itself.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause construction, and punctuation reduce clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with secure subject-verb agreement before combining ideas into more complex structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Today the world has many urgent problems and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.