Today the world has many urgent problems, and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today, the world is facing a lot of obstacles such as unemployment, poverty as well as pandemic. To get rid of these problems, the cooperation of all nations is sought, and I completely agree with this statement as it would help establish peace in the nations and economic stability in the world.
To commence with, To mitigate the world’s hurdles, it is indispensable to seek global corporation. Unemployment in many countries can be seen, and people are starving and struggling hard to make both ends meet. So, with the efforts of affluent countries, small scale industries can be sustained, where ordinary people will get jobs and be able to raise their living standards. A poor country or a developing country cannot make it due to large populations and other priorities. So, foreign aid can help a lot. For instance, developing countries, with the efforts of alien countries assistance, can run loan schemes and provide subsidies to the masses to make them financially independent. There will be no complete burden on governments. This step will create peace among nations, and every nation will make itself to help the other in time of crisis. Thus harmony will develop among the nations.
Besides, Efforts of all countries can help any weak nation provide economic stability by establishing industries or other plants for the benefit of a destitute nation. It will reduce poverty, and people can lead a blissful life and contribute to the progress of a nation. Thus a country’s economy will boost, and a poor country can repay their debts that it takes from other countries. A Russian country established the classic example of two steel plants in Bhilai and Rourkela.
Furthermore, now due to COVID-19, all nations are helping each other and the poor nations by providing them with an adequate supply of medicines and instruments needed to control it. So, it is ostensible that with global assistance, the world’s hurdles can be tackled because if a single country is experiencing any disaster, its effect could be seen on others.
In conclusion, It is ostensible that the world’s problems can be solved only with the efforts of all nations. If all nations get to unite, then it becomes easy to establish harmony in the world. It will remove social and political tensions, and the downtrodden will not suffer much.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add required article Original: as well as pandemic Suggested revision: as well as the pandemic Why it matters: A singular countable reference to the known pandemic requires an article.
- 2. Use correct preposition Original: peace in the nations Suggested revision: peace among nations Why it matters: 'Among nations' naturally describes peaceful relations between countries.
- 3. Correct capitalization Original: To Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The infinitive following the introductory phrase should not begin with a capital letter.
- 4. Correct word choice Original: corporation Suggested revision: cooperation Why it matters: 'Cooperation' means working together, whereas 'corporation' means a company.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: Unemployment in many countries can be seen Suggested revision: Unemployment is widespread in many countries Why it matters: The direct formulation is clearer and avoids an unnecessary passive construction.
- 6. Avoid repeated noun Original: A poor country or a developing country Suggested revision: A poor or developing country Why it matters: The shared noun can follow both coordinated adjectives without repetition.
- 7. Clarify vague reference Original: cannot make it Suggested revision: cannot achieve this Why it matters: 'Achieve this' refers more clearly to sustaining industries and raising living standards.
- 8. Use natural construction Original: There will be no complete burden Suggested revision: The entire burden will not fall Why it matters: The replacement forms the natural expression 'the burden will not fall on governments'.
- 9. Correct verb construction Original: make itself to help Suggested revision: be willing to help Why it matters: 'Make itself to help' is not a valid construction for expressing willingness.
- 10. Add connector comma Original: Thus harmony Suggested revision: Thus, harmony Why it matters: A sentence-initial conjunctive adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 11. Correct capitalization Original: Efforts Suggested revision: efforts Why it matters: The noun after the introductory connector should not be capitalized.
- 12. Clarify intended meaning Original: any weak nation provide economic stability Suggested revision: any economically weak nation achieve stability Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly identifies the nation's weakness as economic and uses a natural verb with 'stability'.
Suggested Rewrites
- as well as pandemic as well as the pandemic
- peace in the nations peace among nations
- To to
- corporation cooperation
- Unemployment in many countries can be seen Unemployment is widespread in many countries
- A poor country or a developing country A poor or developing country
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear position and offers several relevant ways international cooperation can reduce poverty, unemployment, and health crises. Its main weakness is that supporting ideas become repetitive or loosely expressed, while frequent collocational and grammatical inaccuracies reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer examples through explicit cause-and-effect reasoning and express them with more natural vocabulary and better-controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent position is maintained and supported with relevant discussion of aid, industry, and pandemic assistance, though some development is repetitive or generalized.
Explain in greater depth how each form of cooperation solves an urgent problem, using one precise and accurately framed example per main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically paragraphed and broadly progressive, but repeated connectors and some loosely linked claims make the flow uneven.
Build each body paragraph around one distinct claim and connect supporting sentences through clear cause-and-effect relationships rather than formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is a good attempt at topic-specific and less common vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and imprecise word choices limit control.
Replace forced terms such as global corporation, alien countries assistance, and blissful life with accurate, natural expressions suited to the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses a range of sentence forms, but recurring errors with articles, capitalization, agreement, possessives, and clause construction are noticeable throughout.
Edit each sentence for article use and agreement, and simplify structures whose grammatical relationships are unclear before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today the world has many urgent problems, and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.