A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used: Western medicine (using drugs and surgery), herbal medicine, acupuncture ( using needles at certain points of the body), homoeopathy (using minute doses of poisons), and so on. How important is the patient’s mental attitude towards his/her treatment in determining the effectiveness of the treatment?
Sample Response
Today, plenty of medical methods are used by professionals to cure humans. These methods have different impacts via different mechanisms to control the development of each disease. I believe that bonding between patient and doctor is extremely important because it can raise the level of confidence between them, and the patient will receive a more accurate therapy.
Apparently, despite using modern medication introduced by developed countries, alternative medicine, hypnotism or other traditional methods have not been forgotten yet. In this way, in China, traditional medicine has been used by many professionals teaching medicine in university, and different methods are applied to cure debilitated humans, like putting needles on different parts of feet to relieve musculoskeletal pains.
In addition, doctor-patient communication is a very important factor and positive reinforcement is a leading strategy that many health professionals usually use to enhance the level of reliability of each medical treatment. Clearly, having a better self-confidence, a medical doctor can show his or her abilities to cure diseases and become prosperous in finding the causes of their patients’ problems. In particular, an experienced psychologist can relief the symptoms of a depressed patient better when he is supported mentally by using some hypnotism techniques. His physician can explain the mechanism of this type of medical induction in detail and raise the trustworthy between them.
Another factor why a patient should be familiar with the process of his treatment is that he will become more punctual in using of drugs. Definitely, to reach the maximum influence of each medication, including modern or alternative medicine, people must use prescribed drugs accurately. A perfect healthcare employee must value his or her patients’ opinions and give the detail of procedure as long as ethical issues of therapy are not being missed. For example, a one being diagnosed with a progressed cancer must be informed how much some alternative medicines might be important than chemotherapy, and their oncoming side effects must precisely be explained to the patient. As a result, this patient will be able to select these therapies instead of usage of chemical therapies.
In conclusion, reliability is an essential factor for receiving a better healthcare service. From my point of view, knowing the details of treatment and having a mutual relationship between doctors and patients, are the two important reasons that increase the speed of improvement of illness.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise treatment term Original: plenty of medical methods Suggested revision: many medical treatments Why it matters: “Treatments” is more precise than “methods” for medical care, and “many” suits formal writing.
- 2. Use appropriate patient wording Original: to cure humans Suggested revision: to treat patients Why it matters: Medical professionals treat patients, while “cure humans” is unnatural and implies guaranteed recovery.
- 3. Improve scientific collocation Original: different impacts via different mechanisms Suggested revision: different effects through different mechanisms Why it matters: “Effects through mechanisms” is the natural scientific collocation.
- 4. Use articles and plurals Original: bonding between patient and doctor Suggested revision: the bond between patients and doctors Why it matters: The general relationship needs an article and plural nouns.
- 5. Use appropriate treatment adjective Original: a more accurate therapy Suggested revision: more appropriate treatment Why it matters: A treatment is appropriate for a patient rather than accurate.
- 6. Use example transition Original: In this way, in China, Suggested revision: For example, in China, Why it matters: The sentence introduces a national example rather than explaining a manner.
- 7. Repair relative phrase Original: professionals teaching medicine in university Suggested revision: professionals who teach medicine at universities Why it matters: The relative clause and plural institution make the role and setting clear.
- 8. Use clinical wording Original: cure debilitated humans Suggested revision: treat debilitated patients Why it matters: Clinicians treat patients, and treatment does not necessarily guarantee a cure.
- 9. Correct acupuncture phrasing Original: putting needles on different parts of feet Suggested revision: inserting needles into different parts of the feet Why it matters: Needles are inserted into locations, and “feet” requires the definite article here.
- 10. Clarify patient confidence Original: enhance the level of reliability of each medical treatment Suggested revision: increase confidence in each medical treatment Why it matters: Communication can increase confidence in treatment, whereas a treatment's reliability is not raised by reassurance.
- 11. Remove incorrect article Original: having a better self-confidence Suggested revision: having greater self-confidence Why it matters: “Self-confidence” is uncountable and cannot take the article “a.”
- 12. Use success collocation Original: become prosperous in finding Suggested revision: be more successful in identifying Why it matters: “Prosperous” refers mainly to financial success, not diagnostic ability.
Suggested Rewrites
- plenty of medical methods many medical treatments
- to cure humans to treat patients
- different impacts via different mechanisms different effects through different mechanisms
- bonding between patient and doctor the bond between patients and doctors
- a more accurate therapy more appropriate treatment
- In this way, in China, For example, in China,
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in recognising that confidence, communication, and treatment adherence can influence outcomes, and it attempts to explain these links through several medical examples. Its main limitation is that it often shifts from the patient’s mental attitude to the doctor’s confidence or general treatment choice, while some advice is medically questionable and language errors obscure meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to focus directly on how patient beliefs affect adherence, stress, placebo responses, and recovery, using cautious evidence-based examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the general importance of confidence and communication, but it only partly focuses on the patient’s mental attitude and includes some irrelevant or questionable examples.
Explain two or three direct mechanisms through which a patient’s attitude affects treatment effectiveness, and support them with credible, carefully qualified examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure, but some paragraphs move between traditional medicine, doctor confidence, patient adherence, and treatment choice without a consistently focused progression.
Give each body paragraph one patient-centred mechanism and connect every example explicitly to treatment effectiveness.
Lexical Resource
A reasonable range of medical vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate word choices, forms, and collocations reduce precision and sometimes clarity.
Use accurate terms such as “relieve symptoms,” “build trust,” and “follow a medication schedule” instead of awkward approximations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, word forms, prepositions, and clause construction weaken control.
Simplify complex sentences and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and comparative structures systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used: Western medicine (using drugs and surgery), herbal medicine, acupuncture ( using needles at certain points of the body), homoeopathy (using minute doses of poisons), and so on. How important is the patient’s mental attitude towards his/her treatment in determining the effectiveness of the treatment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.