It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Learning about the cultures of other people has become a necessity in today’s world of modernisation. However, many people claim that people can study the culture of different people through books, movies and the internet instead of travelling. This essay, however, does not agree with this view, the reasons for which are stated below.
To begin with, people are living in a world where technology prevails, and everything can be accessed and learned with a single click of a mouse.,hence it seems logical to accept that the outside culture can be analysed through books, films and the internet. For instance, there have been many movies which depict the culture of people from various parts of the world. Moreover, people do not have to commute across various nations to know the customs and traditions of other people, thereby reducing the expenses involved in travelling, accommodation and food. Furthermore, it would not be possible for the common man to travel to various destinations to view and experience the outside culture.
Considering the other side of the argument, people who support the view of travelling to other places to understand people originate from the idea that learning becomes colourful when it is observed with one’s own eyes. However, this is not a practical approach, and individuals can learn about other places’ customs and beliefs through interesting movies, videos and books written by pedagogical experts.
Overall, the learning process about culture across different nations through booms, media and using technology has various positive sides, such as reducing the cost of travel and easy access to information from one’s own comfort place. Even though travelling helps individuals to get first-hand information about other cultures and places, it is not considered a practical approach.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: a world where technology prevails Suggested revision: a technology-driven world Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 2. Clarify what is learned Original: everything can be accessed and learned Suggested revision: information can be accessed and knowledge gained Why it matters: Everything cannot naturally be learned, so the revision gives each verb an appropriate object.
- 3. Fix sentence punctuation Original: mouse.,hence Suggested revision: mouse; hence Why it matters: The full stop and comma cannot be combined, while a semicolon correctly links the clauses.
- 4. Use natural expression Original: the outside culture can be analysed Suggested revision: other cultures can be studied Why it matters: Outside culture is not an idiomatic term, and studied fits learning about cultures more naturally than analysed.
- 5. Correct travel verb Original: commute across various nations Suggested revision: travel to various countries Why it matters: Commute describes regular travel between home and work, so it does not fit international cultural travel.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: know the customs Suggested revision: learn about the customs Why it matters: Learn about is the natural expression for acquiring information about cultural practices.
- 7. Make phrasing concise Original: expenses involved in travelling, accommodation and food Suggested revision: costs of travel, accommodation and food Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase expresses the same categories more directly.
- 8. Use inclusive wording Original: the common man Suggested revision: the average person Why it matters: Average person is a clearer and gender-inclusive term for an ordinary individual.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: view and experience the outside culture Suggested revision: experience other cultures Why it matters: Experience already includes direct observation, and other cultures is the idiomatic object.
- 10. Clarify cultural reference Original: other places’ customs and beliefs Suggested revision: the customs and beliefs of other cultures Why it matters: Beliefs belong to cultures or people rather than to places themselves.
- 11. Choose precise term Original: pedagogical Suggested revision: subject Why it matters: Pedagogical describes teaching expertise, while the sentence refers more broadly to cultural subject knowledge.
- 12. Improve noun phrase Original: learning process about culture across different nations Suggested revision: process of learning about cultures from different nations Why it matters: The revised structure uses the natural process of learning pattern and a suitable plural reference.
Suggested Rewrites
- a world where technology prevails a technology-driven world
- everything can be accessed and learned information can be accessed and knowledge gained
- mouse.,hence mouse; hence
- the outside culture can be analysed other cultures can be studied
- commute across various nations travel to various countries
- know the customs learn about the customs
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response ultimately communicates a consistent case for learning about cultures through media and technology, and its paragraph sequence is easy to follow. The main limitation is that the introduction appears to announce the opposite position, while support remains general and several awkward or inaccurate word choices weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to state one unambiguous position from the outset and develop it with a specific, convincing example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and ultimately supports learning without travel, but the opening position contradicts the body and the supporting ideas remain general.
State the intended agreement clearly in the introduction and develop one concrete example showing what books, films, or online resources can teach effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into a clear introduction, body progression, and conclusion, though some transitions are mechanical and the argument circles around similar points.
Give each body paragraph a distinct purpose and use linking language to show the logical relationship between evidence and the central claim.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss culture, travel, technology, and practicality, but awkward collocations and occasional inaccurate words reduce precision.
Choose natural expressions such as 'learn about foreign cultures' and 'from the comfort of home,' and proofread for slips such as 'booms.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, although punctuation and clause-linking errors occur in several prominent places.
Correct comma splices and punctuation around linking words, especially in the thesis and the sentence beginning with 'To begin with.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.