Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Such technological equipment as mobile phones and computers have acquired their significance in the modern-day communication of the young. I believe that this has both positive and negative effects on their reading and writing skills.
On the one hand, I agree that excessive reliance on these devices is responsible for the young generation’s poor performance in reading and writing. Firstly, many people have a strong preference for computer software when composing text documents due to its convenient functions. For example, Microsoft Word provides users with the ability to modify or erase a piece of text without effort, simultaneously slowing down the writing speed of the users. In addition, young people who spend a lot of time playing with their phones and computers are likely to have insufficient time for reading activities. Gradually, the lack of practice may impair their reading competence in the long term.
On the other hand, it is also true that the proper use of electronic devices can have a positive effect on reading and writing skills. The Internet has now been made accessible through both mobile phones and computers, allowing young readers to gain knowledge from a wider range of sources. Online English newspapers, as an example, are useful for English learners to enrich their vocabulary. Using computers to write blogs is also a good way to enhance writing skills. Today, the availability of Internet infrastructure can enable bloggers to update their stories at their convenience. By writing regularly, the writing ability of a person is certain to improve.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the use of electronic equipment items can have both advantages and drawbacks for the reading and writing skills of users, depending on the way they are used.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural age reference Original: young Suggested revision: younger Why it matters: 'Younger generation' is the more natural expression for young people as a group.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: due to its convenient functions Suggested revision: because of its convenient features Why it matters: Software normally has convenient 'features' rather than 'functions' in this context.
- 3. Use concise adverb Original: without effort Suggested revision: effortlessly Why it matters: The adverb expresses the manner more concisely and naturally.
- 4. Use possessive form Original: writing speed of the users Suggested revision: users’ writing speed Why it matters: The possessive construction is more direct and avoids the awkward repeated 'of' phrase.
- 5. Choose accurate verb Original: playing with their phones and computers Suggested revision: using their phones and computers Why it matters: 'Using' is more precise because the devices may support many activities beyond games.
- 6. Use infinitive phrase Original: insufficient time for reading activities Suggested revision: insufficient time to read Why it matters: The infinitive gives a more natural and concise complement after 'time'.
- 7. Clarify time relation Original: Gradually Suggested revision: Over time Why it matters: 'Over time' more clearly signals the cumulative effect of reduced reading practice.
- 8. Use standard linker Original: as an example Suggested revision: for example Why it matters: 'For example' is the conventional parenthetical linker in this sentence.
- 9. Fix complement structure Original: useful for English learners to enrich Suggested revision: useful in helping English learners enrich Why it matters: The revised structure clearly connects the newspapers' usefulness with the learners' vocabulary development.
- 10. Remove redundant wording Original: electronic equipment items Suggested revision: electronic devices Why it matters: 'Equipment items' is redundant and less natural than the established term 'electronic devices'.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Such technological equipment as mobile phones and computers have acquired their significance in the modern-day communication of the young. Suggested revision: Technological devices such as mobile phones and computers have become central to how young people communicate today. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces several awkward collocations with a clear, natural description of the same idea.
- 12. Strengthen example link Suggested revision: Add a direct transition between effortless digital editing and the claimed reduction in writing practice. Why it matters: The current example moves abruptly from convenient editing functions to slower writing without showing the connection.
Suggested Rewrites
- young younger
- due to its convenient functions because of its convenient features
- without effort effortlessly
- writing speed of the users users’ writing speed
- playing with their phones and computers using their phones and computers
- insufficient time for reading activities insufficient time to read
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well organized and develops a nuanced position through relevant discussion of harmful overuse and beneficial, purposeful use of technology. Its main limitation is that some supporting reasoning is not fully convincing or tightly aligned with the claim about excessive use, particularly the Microsoft Word example. The strongest improvement would be to state the extent of agreement more directly and support each point with a more credible causal explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue with a clear qualified position and developed ideas, although some support is questionable or only indirectly relevant to excessive use.
State the extent of agreement explicitly and replace the weak word-processing example with evidence that directly links excessive technology use to reduced writing practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly with little strain.
Refine the transition between excessive use and proper use so the qualification of the central position is even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary is used flexibly, with only occasional awkward combinations or imprecise wording.
Polish collocations such as modern communication, electronic devices, and writing proficiency to make expression consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free.
Check the few remaining agreement and reference choices, especially where collective or uncountable nouns serve as subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.