In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry?
Sample Response
I am from Saint Petersburg, Russia, and I think that the question about whether lands should be left in their natural condition or should be utilised to be developed for housing and industry is the one that is open for debate. Personally, I believe that it is a controversial question because both views have their advantages. However, in this situation, an intermediate position can be taken. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support the answer. From the one side, saving land in its natural condition brings many benefits. First of all, many wild animals will thrive in our forests. Unfortunately, nowadays many wild animals are endangered because they do not have any place to live in and enough food to eat. Second of all, our children will be able to learn about animals not only from books but also from observing them in their natural environment. In addition to those benefits, our air will be cleaner because many forests will clean it from pollution and make it fresher. From the other side, deforesting our land and building many new constructions can have a few positive aspects. For example, building new industrial buildings may have a positive impact on the country's economy. Many new companies will have the opportunity to produce more goods and as the result of this the country will receive more money from abroad and this will lead to the improvement of the economy on the whole. To conclude, all mentioned above, I think that we need to be more careful with the natural resources we consume and, moreover, we can do something to preserve them. For example, companies that produce lumber can also resume the resources of wood by planting new trees there. This way we can preserve our land and save it from defrosting. I must agree that it is difficult for Russia at this moment not to develop land for housing and industry because the country needs money and a stronger economy, but I believe that many new factories can replace the old ones without developing new land. So, my point is that we must extend the production of new goods but not at the expense of the wild animals and their land.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable land Original: lands Suggested revision: land Why it matters: Land is uncountable when referring generally to territory.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: the one that is open for debate Suggested revision: one that is open to debate Why it matters: Open to debate is the natural and more concise expression.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: reasons to support the answer Suggested revision: reasons supporting my position Why it matters: My position clearly identifies the writer's view, whereas the answer is vague.
- 4. Use the standard pair Original: From the one side Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: On the one hand is the standard connector for the first side of a contrast.
- 5. Use a formal sequence Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: Secondly is the conventional formal connector for the next point.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: clean it from pollution Suggested revision: remove pollutants from it Why it matters: Remove pollutants from the air expresses the intended process naturally.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: make it fresher Suggested revision: improve its quality Why it matters: Air quality is a more precise description than freshness in this context.
- 8. Complete the contrast pair Original: From the other side Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: On the other hand correctly pairs with On the one hand.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: deforesting our land Suggested revision: clearing forests Why it matters: Clearing forests is the natural expression for removing forest cover.
- 10. Use the concrete noun Original: constructions Suggested revision: buildings Why it matters: Constructions does not naturally refer to completed buildings in this context.
- 11. Avoid repetition Original: building new industrial buildings Suggested revision: constructing new industrial facilities Why it matters: The revision removes the repetition of building and names the facilities more precisely.
- 12. Correct the connector Original: as the result of this Suggested revision: as a result Why it matters: As a result is the standard fixed expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- lands land
- the one that is open for debate one that is open to debate
- reasons to support the answer reasons supporting my position
- From the one side On the one hand
- Second of all Secondly
- clean it from pollution remove pollutants from it
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a thoughtful, ultimately clear compromise and supports both conservation and development with relevant reasons. Its main weakness is imprecise language, including several incorrect word choices that occasionally distract from otherwise clear ideas. The highest priority is to refine collocations and word choice while stating the comparative position more directly at the outset and developing the country's housing needs alongside industry.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both land-use options, develops relevant benefits, and reaches a clear qualified position, although housing needs receive little direct attention.
State the preferred balance more precisely in the introduction and develop the housing dimension as fully as the industrial one.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear thematic paragraphs, though some linking phrases are formulaic and the conclusion carries several distinct points.
Use more natural transitions and divide the concluding reasoning into a tighter sequence of claim, qualification, and solution.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but inaccurate collocations and word choices such as references to constructions, resuming wood resources, and defrosting reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate topic-specific collocations, especially for land development, reforestation, conservation, and industrial expansion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but article, preposition, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Edit complex sentences for cleaner clause control and check articles and prepositions in fixed expressions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.