In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, industry and business have been encouraging by part of the nations governments to establish their factories in regional areas instead of in large cities. I strongly believe that there are much more benefits in this movement than drawbacks.
Having a company in a metropolitan area could bring lots of benefits, especially because the infrastructure is better than in smaller centers, with more transport options to receive and dispatch goods as well as a bigger range of specialized services and also skilled labour. Even tought, usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
On the other hand, moving industries to regional areas could benefit not just the local population, but also the entrepreneurs, due to the savings. A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers. Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.
In addition, industries and business can lead to the development of a different region owing to the need to improvements that can benefits everyone, such as government investimento in roads, as well as new opportunities to small commerces to supply daily need, like restaurants and bakeries.
To sum up, there are numerous benefits in the politice that encourage companies to establish in regional areas, which outweigh the drawbacks. The advantages achieve the entrepreneurs, the local population from towns as well as the large cities. Besides, the government can plan better how to distribute the population.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use passive voice Original: encouraging Suggested revision: encouraged Why it matters: The businesses receive the encouragement, so the passive participle is required.
- 2. Fix the noun phrase Original: by part of the nations governments Suggested revision: by some national governments Why it matters: The original phrase has incorrect quantification and possessive structure.
- 3. Use countable quantifier Original: much Suggested revision: many Why it matters: Benefits is countable, so it takes many rather than much.
- 4. Name the policy Original: movement Suggested revision: policy Why it matters: Policy precisely identifies the government measure being evaluated.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: lots of benefits Suggested revision: many benefits Why it matters: Many is more appropriate than lots of in a formal essay.
- 6. Complete the comparison Original: and also skilled labour Suggested revision: and a larger pool of skilled labour Why it matters: The added noun phrase makes the list parallel and the comparison explicit.
- 7. Use parallel correlative Original: not just the local population, but also the entrepreneurs Suggested revision: not only the local population but also entrepreneurs Why it matters: Not only...but also forms the standard parallel structure without an unnecessary comma.
- 8. Specify the savings Original: due to the savings Suggested revision: because of lower operating costs Why it matters: The revision identifies the kind of savings meant by the writer.
- 9. Use precise phrasing Original: almost all the biggest centers in the world Suggested revision: many of the world's largest cities Why it matters: This wording is more natural and avoids the overly absolute almost all.
- 10. Use a gerund subject Original: reorganize the population density Suggested revision: redistributing the population Why it matters: The clause needs a gerund phrase as its subject, and population density cannot be reorganized.
- 11. Fix the purpose phrase Original: in the sense to avoid migration to Suggested revision: by reducing migration to Why it matters: By plus a gerund expresses the stated means clearly.
- 12. Make the noun plural Original: business Suggested revision: businesses Why it matters: Businesses must be plural to match the general plural reference to industries.
Suggested Rewrites
- encouraging encouraged
- by part of the nations governments by some national governments
- much many
- movement policy
- lots of benefits many benefits
- and also skilled labour and a larger pool of skilled labour
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and offers several relevant benefits, including jobs, lower costs, regional development, and reduced pressure on cities. However, the opposing side is only briefly and indirectly treated, while frequent word-form, agreement, spelling, and collocation errors weaken precision. Prioritise developing the principal disadvantage explicitly and proofreading sentence-level grammar and vocabulary choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant advantages are developed, but the disadvantages of relocation receive limited treatment.
Develop the loss of metropolitan infrastructure as a distinct disadvantage and compare its weight directly with the stated benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression and appropriate paragraphing, though some transitions and internal links are imprecise.
Use each body paragraph for one clearly defined comparison point and choose linking phrases that match the actual relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a useful range of topic vocabulary, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision.
Proofread less common words and practise natural combinations for migration, regional development, employment, and public investment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, but frequent agreement, article, and clause-structure errors persist.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and complete clause construction before attempting long multi-part sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.