Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Many people currently decide not to have babies when they are young and wait until they get older instead. There are some reasons for this tendency, and it could have some impacts on family life as well as society.
To begin with, there are several reasons why a number of individuals want to have children later in their life. Firstly, this choice allows them to have more time to enjoy life when they are young. For instance, it is easier for a young couple to travel when they do not have a baby to nurture. Secondly, people who are at the early stage of their career usually have lower income compared to when they are older. Therefore, many people decide to start raising a family after having accumulated enough money to ensure a better life for their children.
However, this tendency might bring about some negative effects on both family life and society. The first impact is that having children later will cause a significant age gap between the two generations. This makes it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring. Additionally, if people give birth when they are too old, the babies being born might be less physically healthy. This might adversely affect the quality of the future workforce if too many people decide to follow this trend.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why many people prefer to have children later in their life, and this tendency can result in some negative impacts on both family life and society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: some impacts Suggested revision: several effects Why it matters: ‘Effects’ is more precise and natural in this context.
- 2. Reduce wordiness Original: a number of individuals Suggested revision: many people Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 3. Choose natural wording Original: a baby to nurture Suggested revision: children to care for Why it matters: ‘Care for’ is more natural than ‘nurture’ in this everyday example.
- 4. Fix number and preposition Original: at the early stage Suggested revision: in the early stages Why it matters: The idiomatic phrase is ‘in the early stages of their career’.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: income Suggested revision: incomes Why it matters: A plural noun agrees naturally with the plural subject ‘people’.
- 6. Complete the comparison Original: compared to when they are older Suggested revision: than they do later in life Why it matters: The revision compares people’s incomes at two stages of life clearly.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: having accumulated enough money Suggested revision: accumulating enough money Why it matters: The simpler gerund form is more concise without changing the meaning.
- 8. Clarify enumeration Original: The first impact Suggested revision: One effect Why it matters: ‘One effect’ works better because the paragraph does not explicitly label a second effect.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: too old Suggested revision: at an advanced age Why it matters: This is a more precise and appropriately formal expression.
- 10. Remove awkward passive Original: the babies being born Suggested revision: their babies Why it matters: The possessive noun phrase states the relationship more naturally.
- 11. Improve precision Original: less physically healthy Suggested revision: at greater risk of health problems Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended health comparison more precisely.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Many people currently decide not to have babies when they are young and wait until they get older instead. Suggested revision: Many people now choose to delay having children until they are older. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetition and expresses delayed parenthood more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- some impacts several effects
- a number of individuals many people
- a baby to nurture children to care for
- at the early stage in the early stages
- income incomes
- compared to when they are older than they do later in life
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organized and uses generally accurate, varied language to explain why people delay parenthood and several resulting problems. Its central weakness is task coverage: it never discusses advantages of later parenthood or directly decides whether they outweigh the disadvantages. The priority is to add a developed advantage paragraph and state an explicit comparative position in both the introduction and conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant reasons and disadvantages, but it omits advantages and never answers the required outweigh question.
Discuss at least one well-developed advantage and explicitly compare the two sides to give a clear answer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Use the conclusion to synthesize a direct comparison rather than merely repeating the essay's two covered areas.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of generally precise vocabulary, with only occasional awkward choices and repetition.
Refine phrases such as "the babies being born" and vary repeated references to "later in their life."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentence forms is used accurately, with only minor non-impeding lapses.
Polish article use and comparative phrasing, such as "a lower income than they will have when older."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.