Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
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Sample Response
Many people currently decide not to have babies when they are young and wait until they get older instead. There are some reasons for this tendency, and it could have several effectssome impacts on family life as well as society.
To begin with, there are several reasons why many peoplea number of individuals want to have children later in their life. Firstly, this choice allows them to have more time to enjoy life when they are young. For instance, it is easier for a young couple to travel when they do not have children to care fora baby to nurture. Secondly, people who are in the early stagesat the early stage of their career usually have lower incomesincome than they do later in lifecompared to when they are older. Therefore, many people decide to start raising a family after accumulating enough moneyhaving accumulated enough money to ensure a better life for their children.
However, this tendency might bring about some negative effects on both family life and society. One effectThe first impact is that having children later will cause a significant age gap between the two generations. This makes it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring. Additionally, if people give birth when they are at an advanced agetoo old, their babiesthe babies being born might be at greater risk of health problemsless physically healthy. This might adversely affect the quality of the future workforce if too many people decide to follow this trend.
In conclusion, there are some reasons why many people prefer to have children later in their life, and this tendency can result in some negative impacts on both family life and society.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organized and uses generally accurate, varied language to explain why people delay parenthood and several resulting problems. Its central weakness is task coverage: it never discusses advantages of later parenthood or directly decides whether they outweigh the disadvantages. The priority is to add a developed advantage paragraph and state an explicit comparative position in both the introduction and conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant reasons and disadvantages, but it omits advantages and never answers the required outweigh question.
Discuss at least one well-developed advantage and explicitly compare the two sides to give a clear answer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Use the conclusion to synthesize a direct comparison rather than merely repeating the essay's two covered areas.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of generally precise vocabulary, with only occasional awkward choices and repetition.
Refine phrases such as "the babies being born" and vary repeated references to "later in their life."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentence forms is used accurately, with only minor non-impeding lapses.
Polish article use and comparative phrasing, such as "a lower income than they will have when older."