Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, there are lots of debates around whether museums should charge for admission. I think the advantages of this action far outweigh the disadvantages.
Having an admission fee, no matter the price, has various benefits to the museums. This admission fee can cover most basic operating costs, such as staff wages, electricity for complex lighting systems, and security. Museums can also utilize this financial support for renovation. For example, Vietnamese museums can benefit from this renovation since most of them are old. Another advantage is that museums can use this money to enhance their performance. They can hire more curators to bring in more interesting collections, create more kids-friendly galleries, or even apply new technologies, like virtual reality or artificial intelligence. For example, many famous museums, like MoMA, provide audio tours for visitors. Science museums around the world also offer a virtual reality tour into the past.
However, there are some disadvantages to charging too high for museum admission. If the admission fees are too high, this might discourage people from visiting museums. This is especially true for poor people or those who do not have a source of income, such as high school and college students or starving artists. As a result, setting admission tickets too high will defeat the purpose of a museum: to provide a source of education and entertainment to the public. Another disadvantage is that it can affect tourism because museums are usually tourist attractions. For example, Washington DC is a city that offers many free museums, although it has gift shops. These free museums are what lure tourists, especially those traveling with kids.
In conclusion, although charging museum visitors has some downsides, I think the advantages that this decision brings to the museums far outweigh the disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: lots of debates around Suggested revision: considerable debate about Why it matters: This phrasing is more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 2. Name the policy Original: action Suggested revision: policy Why it matters: Policy identifies the admission-charge proposal more precisely than action.
- 3. Correct preposition Original: benefits to the museums Suggested revision: benefits for museums Why it matters: Benefits for is the natural prepositional pattern in this context.
- 4. Remove imprecise modifier Original: most basic operating costs Suggested revision: basic operating costs Why it matters: Most is imprecise because the following examples do not establish a proportion of all operating costs.
- 5. Use precise noun Original: this financial support Suggested revision: this revenue Why it matters: Revenue precisely describes money collected through admission fees.
- 6. Clarify the improvement Original: enhance their performance Suggested revision: improve their services Why it matters: Services is more concrete than performance when referring to what museums offer visitors.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: apply Suggested revision: adopt Why it matters: Adopt is the natural verb for beginning to use new technologies.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: a virtual reality tour into the past Suggested revision: a virtual-reality tour of the past Why it matters: Tour of the past is a more natural collocation for the experience described.
- 9. Use amount expression Original: high Suggested revision: much Why it matters: Too much describes an excessive amount charged, whereas high normally modifies a price or fee.
- 10. Refer to the fee Original: tickets Suggested revision: fees Why it matters: A fee or ticket price can be set high, but a ticket itself cannot.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, Washington DC is a city that offers many free museums, although it has gift shops. Suggested revision: For example, Washington, D.C., offers many free museums that also operate gift shops. Why it matters: The original although clause implies an unclear contrast and leaves the pronoun it with the city rather than the museums.
Suggested Rewrites
- lots of debates around considerable debate about
- action policy
- benefits to the museums benefits for museums
- most basic operating costs basic operating costs
- this financial support this revenue
- enhance their performance improve their services
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and relevant, well-organised discussion of museum funding, access, and tourism. Its main limitation is that the disadvantages are framed mainly as consequences of excessively high fees, while the claimed advantage of charging is not explicitly weighed against those costs. The highest priority is to make the comparison more precise by explaining why a moderate admission charge delivers greater overall value despite reduced accessibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops relevant advantages and disadvantages with appropriate examples.
Make the outweigh judgement more analytical by directly comparing the benefits of a reasonable fee with its effects on access and tourism.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Use more varied internal transitions so the sequence of additional advantages and disadvantages feels less list-like.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys the main ideas precisely, including appropriate language about operating costs, renovation, and tourism.
Refine occasional awkward combinations such as kids-friendly galleries and charging too high by choosing more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is used with generally strong control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Polish comparative and noun-phrase constructions, particularly expressions describing the level at which admission prices are set.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.