In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, industry and business have been encouraging by part of the nations governments to establish their factories in regional areas instead of in large cities. I strongly believe that there are much more benefits in this movement than drawbacks.
Having a company in a metropolitan area could bring lots of benefits, especially because the infrastructure is better than in smaller centers, with more transport options to receive and dispatch goods as well as a bigger range of specialized services and also skilled labour. Even tought, usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
On the other hand, moving industries to regional areas could benefit not just the local population, but also the entrepreneurs, due to the savings. A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers. Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.
In addition, industries and business can lead to the development of a different region owing to the need to improvements that can benefits everyone, such as government investimento in roads, as well as new opportunities to small commerces to supply daily need, like restaurants and bakeries.
To sum up, there are numerous benefits in the politice that encourage companies to establish in regional areas, which outweigh the drawbacks. The advantages achieve the entrepreneurs, the local population from towns as well as the large cities. Besides, the government can plan better how to distribute the population.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use passive form Original: encouraging Suggested revision: encouraged Why it matters: The governments encourage the businesses, so the passive participle is required here.
- 2. Fix determiner phrase Original: by part of the nations governments Suggested revision: by some national governments Why it matters: This revision uses a grammatical determiner and noun phrase.
- 3. Use countable quantifier Original: much Suggested revision: many Why it matters: Use 'many' rather than 'much' with the countable noun 'benefits'.
- 4. Correct linking phrase Original: tought Suggested revision: though Why it matters: The concessive linker is misspelled.
- 5. Improve cost collocation Original: costs to keep a business Suggested revision: costs of running a business Why it matters: 'Costs of running a business' is the natural collocation for operating expenses.
- 6. Remove unnecessary articles Original: the taxes and rents Suggested revision: taxes and rents Why it matters: These plural nouns refer to costs generally and do not need the definite article.
- 7. Clarify clause link Original: with job offers the inhabitants do not need Suggested revision: and, because of these job offers, inhabitants would not need Why it matters: The revision connects the job offers grammatically to their effect on inhabitants.
- 8. Correct spelling Original: metropolies Suggested revision: metropolises Why it matters: The plural noun is misspelled.
- 9. Fix verb pattern Original: seeking for Suggested revision: seeking Why it matters: The verb 'seek' takes a direct object without 'for'.
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: a greater careers Suggested revision: better careers Why it matters: The plural noun cannot follow the singular article 'a'.
- 11. Use precise wording Original: almost all the biggest centers Suggested revision: many major cities Why it matters: This wording expresses the intended urban reference more naturally and precisely.
- 12. Use gerund subject Original: reorganize the population density Suggested revision: redistributing the population Why it matters: A gerund phrase is needed as the subject of 'brings'.
Suggested Rewrites
- encouraging encouraged
- by part of the nations governments by some national governments
- much many
- tought though
- costs to keep a business costs of running a business
- the taxes and rents taxes and rents
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and presents several relevant advantages of regional relocation, including lower costs, local employment and reduced pressure on major cities. Its main weakness is that support remains general and the disadvantage concerning weaker infrastructure is only briefly considered, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each comparison with a specific, clearly explained consequence and then proofread sentence structure and word forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a clear position and several relevant benefits, although the comparative support is somewhat general and uneven.
Explain the main disadvantage and each claimed advantage with a specific consequence so the judgment that benefits outweigh costs is fully substantiated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a recognizable paragraph structure, but some linking expressions are inaccurate and several long sentences connect points awkwardly.
Use simpler, precise transitions and divide overloaded sentences so that each paragraph develops one clear stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate topic-related range, but frequent spelling, word-form and collocation errors reduce accuracy and occasionally blur meaning.
Prioritize accurate common phrases such as business costs, regional development and employment opportunities, and proofread spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but errors in agreement, articles, clause construction and noun forms occur frequently.
Check subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries first, then revise complex sentences whose clause relationships are unclear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.