Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your writing.
Sample Response
Parents are in most cases our first teachers and friends. From my everyday experience, I have to agree with the statement that important decisions should be made by our parents or adult relatives. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support this statement. First of all, teenage children have the tendency to live in their own fantasies. They do not clearly understand the rules of a real life. When I was 18 years old I thought that the world was perfect and everything seemed to be simple. Teenagers are basically inexperienced, they aspire for independence and try to make their first steps towards freedom. I think that it is like starting to walk when a baby needs its parents for support. An independent life is a big and significant part in a person's life. So, my point is that it is very important to make this step right. Second of all, I think that parents have right to interfere in their children's lives. They need to know what kind of friends their children have and how children spend their spare time. For example, I had an eighteen years old friend who got really angry with his parents when they prohibited him from being a friend of a young man. Somehow his parents found out that that young man was occasionally taking drugs. That man was dead in a year because of drug abuse. After that accident, my friend thanked his parents for that interference. Finally, I think teenage children should be more open-minded with their parents. It will help them to make the right choice and avoid many mistakes. To sum up, I believe that young people should trust their parents because they wish their children only the best.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise framing Original: From my everyday experience Suggested revision: From my experience Why it matters: ‘Everyday’ is unnecessary because personal experience already conveys the basis of the view.
- 2. Use concise verb Original: have the tendency to live Suggested revision: tend to live Why it matters: The verb ‘tend’ expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 3. Use natural expression Original: rules of a real life Suggested revision: realities of life Why it matters: ‘The realities of life’ naturally describes practical conditions outside fantasy.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: 18 years old I Suggested revision: 18 years old, I Why it matters: The introductory age clause should be followed by a comma.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: basically Suggested revision: generally Why it matters: ‘Generally’ appropriately qualifies a broad statement about teenagers.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb ‘aspire’ takes ‘to’ before a noun.
- 7. Correct the idiom Original: make Suggested revision: take Why it matters: The established expression is ‘take the first steps’.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: a big and significant part in a person's life Suggested revision: a significant stage in a person's life Why it matters: ‘Big and significant’ is redundant, and independence is more naturally called a stage.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: make this step right Suggested revision: take this step wisely Why it matters: People ‘take’ a step, and ‘wisely’ expresses making the decision well.
- 10. Use formal sequencing Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: ‘Secondly’ is the standard formal transition following ‘First of all’.
- 11. Add the article Original: parents have right Suggested revision: parents have the right Why it matters: The singular countable noun ‘right’ requires the definite article here.
- 12. Clarify the possessive Original: how children spend their spare time Suggested revision: how their children spend their spare time Why it matters: The possessive reference keeps the subject tied to the parents mentioned earlier.
Suggested Rewrites
- From my everyday experience From my experience
- have the tendency to live tend to live
- rules of a real life realities of life
- 18 years old I 18 years old, I
- basically generally
- for to
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear agreement and supports it with the central ideas of teenage inexperience, parental protection and open communication. Its strongest feature is the extended example showing how parental intervention can prevent harmful peer influence; the main limitation is that monitoring friendships is not always clearly connected to parents making major decisions. The priority is to define which decisions require adult control and explain why teenagers should retain autonomy elsewhere.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent position is supported by relevant reasoning and a detailed example, but the scope of "important decisions" is never clearly defined.
Identify specific high-stakes decisions adults should control and distinguish them from lower-risk choices that help teenagers develop independence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a clear sequence from inexperience to intervention and communication, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the visible structure.
Use separate paragraphs for teenage inexperience, the protective example and the role of parent-child communication.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate range for family, independence and risk, though several awkward collocations limit precision.
Prefer natural expressions such as "understand real-life consequences", "take steps towards independence" and "prevented him from associating with".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear across varied structures, but comma splices, articles and noun forms cause recurring inaccuracies.
Check forms such as "real life", "have the right", "an eighteen-year-old friend" and separate independent clauses correctly.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their (13 to 19 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your writing.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.