It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Parenting is perhaps the greatest and most sophisticated responsibility in our life and mistakes and incorrect decisions made by parents can ruin a family as well as the future of a child. Since many young people become parents and the number of nuclear families is on the rise, many experts emphasize the importance of parenting courses for both fathers and mothers. I personally agree with this notion as I believe that such sessions would be immensely helpful.
To commence with, proper parenting requires a great deal of knowledge and dedication. Sometimes minor negligence and lack of knowledge can lead to catastrophic outcomes. For instance, if busy parents forget to vaccinate a newborn, that would jeopardize the offspring’s life. Similarly, many parents believe in silly superstitions that influence them to make bad choices. If those parents attend a course where experts share their opinions on different aspects of child fostering and proper parenting, they would be highly benefitted. For example, my cousin Paula, who became a mother a few months ago believed that her child had a problem with digestion and needed medical attention. However, it was revealed that the way she fed her daughter was not correct. I believe that a suitable course that brings out different aspects of upbringing a child, both moral and practical aspects, would prove to be important for newly become parents.
Moreover, the increasing trends of single parents and nuclear families lack the expert opinion of grandparents, unlike in the past. This is why the need for such parenting sessions is even more prevalent in modern times. Such sessions bring parents together, let them share their views, form a social relationship and help people learn aspects of their personal prejudices. This is a great way to educate the "to-be-parents", and "newly-become-parents" to learn more about the practical aspects of parenting. It also makes a better society, in a broader sense.
To conclude, being informed and educated parents is an important aspect of becoming good parents. Since parenting courses help people in a diverse way, it is indeed a good idea for people to participate in such courses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number and punctuation Original: our life and mistakes Suggested revision: our lives, and mistakes Why it matters: The plural possessive reference requires lives, and a comma separates the coordinated clauses.
- 2. Use natural transition Original: commence Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: To begin with is the conventional transition for introducing the first reason.
- 3. Use countable expression Original: minor negligence Suggested revision: minor acts of negligence Why it matters: Negligence is uncountable, so acts of negligence expresses individual instances clearly.
- 4. Match conditional meaning Original: would Suggested revision: could Why it matters: Could appropriately expresses the possible consequence of the hypothetical situation.
- 5. Use suitable register Original: offspring’s Suggested revision: baby's Why it matters: Baby is more natural than the formal biological term offspring in this context.
- 6. Use objective wording Original: silly Suggested revision: unfounded Why it matters: Unfounded expresses the criticism more objectively in an academic essay.
- 7. Use correct term Original: child fostering Suggested revision: child-rearing Why it matters: Child-rearing means raising children, whereas fostering has a distinct care arrangement meaning.
- 8. Correct verb construction Original: they would be highly benefitted Suggested revision: they would benefit greatly Why it matters: Benefit is naturally used actively here, and greatly modifies it correctly.
- 9. Close relative clause Original: a few months ago believed Suggested revision: a few months ago, believed Why it matters: A comma is required to close the non-defining relative clause before the main verb.
- 10. Use concise term Original: problem with digestion Suggested revision: digestive problem Why it matters: Digestive problem is the more concise and natural noun phrase.
- 11. Use precise adjective Original: was not correct Suggested revision: was incorrect Why it matters: Incorrect states the evaluation more concisely.
- 12. Use correct verb Original: brings out Suggested revision: covers Why it matters: A course covers topics; brings out does not express course content naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- our life and mistakes our lives, and mistakes
- commence begin
- minor negligence minor acts of negligence
- would could
- offspring’s baby's
- silly unfounded
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains clear agreement with parenting courses and supports it through practical knowledge, medical safety, and the reduced availability of extended-family guidance. Its strongest feature is the use of concrete examples to develop the position; the main limitation is that some claims are overstated and several awkward expressions reduce precision. The priority is to explain whether courses should be compulsory for all parents and refine the language used for child development and new parents.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear supportive position is developed through relevant reasons and examples, although the essay does not fully examine the prompt's strong claim that training is necessary for every parent.
Clarify whether attendance should be compulsory or strongly recommended and address experienced parents or those with reliable family support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through knowledge, practical examples, and reduced family support, with clear paragraphing despite some repetition within ideas.
Shorten the first body paragraph and give the second a sharper focus on how courses replace missing intergenerational guidance.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a good range for parenting and social change, but awkward choices such as 'child fostering,' 'newly become parents,' and 'learn aspects of their personal prejudices' reduce precision.
Use natural terms such as 'child-rearing,' 'new parents,' 'professional guidance,' and 'recognise personal biases.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures convey the argument clearly, but recurring errors in agreement, modification, parallelism, and participial forms prevent stronger control.
Correct forms such as 'newly qualified parents' or 'new parents' and ensure plural subjects such as 'trends' take matching verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.