Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
(Neutral opinion- There should be a balance in our leisure activities.) Different kinds of sports are enjoyed by sports lovers around the world, and nowadays, it has become one of the common leisure activities, and so, some people argue that it is a waste of time and they advise opting for outdoor activities instead. In my opinion, watching sports on television is not a waste of time, but, there should be a balance between the time spent on watching sports and taking part in other social and recreational activities. First of all, watching sports is an excellent form of entertainment, relaxation, and for many, this is even a passion to follow. Moreover, People watch sports with others, which is a great way of socialising and enhancing the relationship. In my country, for example, watching live sports on TV has become an event of socialising and communicating with each other. However, spending hours after hours in front of a TV set to watch different sports and not doing anything is not recommended. On the contrary, many people claim that watching sporting events in free time every day is not a good habit or a healthy activity as this time could be better utilised by taking part in other social activities and skill development programmes. People, who watch TV most of the time, become isolated and develop unhealthy eating habit. Thus according to many, watching sports on TV has no significant benefits. They affirm that participating in outdoor activities are much healthier and advantageous. To conclude, we have to maintain a balance in our leisure activities; while enjoying sports is a good way of relaxation and socialisation, too much of it can be harmful. We have to choose plenty of various free-time activities, especially outdoor activities, to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove comma after but Original: but, there should be Suggested revision: but there should be Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinating conjunction from the clause it introduces.
- 2. Fix verb complement Original: time spent on watching sports Suggested revision: time spent watching sports Why it matters: “Spend time” is followed directly by a gerund without “on” in this construction.
- 3. Fix capitalization Original: People Suggested revision: people Why it matters: A word following a sentence-internal connector and comma should not be capitalized.
- 4. Use natural plural Original: enhancing the relationship Suggested revision: strengthening relationships Why it matters: The general claim concerns relationships among viewers, so the plural collocation is more accurate.
- 5. Use natural expression Original: an event of socialising Suggested revision: a social occasion Why it matters: “A social occasion” expresses the intended idea more naturally and concisely.
- 6. Avoid vague reciprocity Original: communicating with each other Suggested revision: interacting with others Why it matters: The replacement states the social interaction clearly without an unclear reciprocal reference.
- 7. Use fixed expression Original: hours after hours Suggested revision: hour after hour Why it matters: The idiomatic expression for continuous repetition is singular “hour after hour”.
- 8. Use parallel verb forms Original: to watch different sports and not doing anything Suggested revision: watching different sports without doing anything Why it matters: The replacement keeps the two activities in parallel gerund constructions.
- 9. Use additive connector Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: The next sentence reinforces the criticism of excessive viewing rather than contradicting it.
- 10. Add possessive determiner Original: sporting events in free time Suggested revision: sporting events in their free time Why it matters: The singular noun phrase “free time” needs a determiner identifying whose time it is.
- 11. Separate reason clause Original: healthy activity as this time Suggested revision: healthy activity, as this time Why it matters: A comma is needed before the explanatory “as” clause.
- 12. Remove first comma Original: People, who Suggested revision: People who Why it matters: The relative clause identifies which people are meant, so it should not be set off by commas.
Suggested Rewrites
- but, there should be but there should be
- time spent on watching sports time spent watching sports
- People people
- enhancing the relationship strengthening relationships
- an event of socialising a social occasion
- communicating with each other interacting with others
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and supports it with relevant benefits and risks of watching sports, which is its strongest feature. However, the entire argument is presented as one paragraph, and recurring awkward constructions weaken readability and control. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the discussion into distinct paragraphs for benefits, drawbacks, and the final judgement while proofreading agreement, punctuation, and collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear balanced position is maintained, and relevant reasons and an example address both the value and risks of watching sports.
Develop the final judgement more analytically by specifying when viewing becomes excessive and why the proposed balance best answers the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move in a generally logical sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and some abrupt transitions limit overall cohesion.
Separate the introduction, benefits, drawbacks, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer links between the writer's own reasoning and opposing claims.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though several awkward collocations and repeated expressions reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as hours after hours, event of socialising, and plenty of various with concise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, punctuation, article, and clause-control errors recur.
Proofread long sentences for comma placement and agreement, especially in forms such as people develop unhealthy eating habits and participating is healthier.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.