Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Discipline in modern schools has become a pressing concern, and opinions differ on whether teachers or parents should be primarily responsible. While teachers manage behavior during school hours, I believe that parents have the greatest influence in shaping a child’s long-term conduct.
Advocates for teacher-led discipline point out that teachers interact with students daily and are in a strong position to enforce school rules. They can monitor behavior, intervene in conflicts, and apply consequences such as detention or additional assignments. In schools with strict behavioral policies, these measures often reduce disruptive incidents, demonstrating the importance of teacher involvement.
However, parents provide the foundation for a child’s sense of responsibility and respect. Values instilled at home are reinforced throughout life, and children whose parents actively guide their behavior are more likely to follow rules at school. Without parental involvement, classroom discipline may only address surface-level behavior rather than underlying attitudes.
In conclusion, both teachers and parents are essential in maintaining discipline, but I believe that parents should take the lead in shaping a child’s character. Teachers, meanwhile, act as enforcers and role models, ensuring that rules are followed during school hours. A collaborative effort is therefore vital to tackle the growing problem of indiscipline effectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State responsibility precisely Original: opinions differ on whether teachers or parents should be primarily responsible Suggested revision: opinions differ over whether primary responsibility lies with teachers or parents Why it matters: The replacement states the division of responsibility more directly.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: parents have the greatest influence in shaping a child’s long-term conduct Suggested revision: parents exert the greatest influence on a child’s long-term conduct Why it matters: 'Exert influence on' is a more natural and concise collocation.
- 3. Choose a precise modifier Original: led Suggested revision: enforced Why it matters: 'Teacher-enforced' more precisely reflects the paragraph's focus on applying school rules.
- 4. Use concise phrasing Original: are in a strong position to enforce Suggested revision: are well placed to enforce Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same idea more economically.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: apply Suggested revision: impose Why it matters: 'Impose consequences' is the more idiomatic collocation in a disciplinary context.
- 6. Sharpen policy wording Original: behavioral Suggested revision: disciplinary Why it matters: 'Disciplinary' more precisely identifies policies concerned with enforcing conduct.
- 7. Use standard collocation Original: provide Suggested revision: lay Why it matters: 'Lay the foundation for' is the conventional expression in this context.
- 8. Clarify lasting influence Original: are reinforced throughout life Suggested revision: remain influential throughout life Why it matters: The replacement expresses the continuing effect without an unclear passive agent.
- 9. Name the measures clearly Original: classroom discipline may only address Suggested revision: classroom disciplinary measures may address only Why it matters: This wording distinguishes specific interventions from the broader concept of discipline.
- 10. Refine the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: 'Essential to' is the more conventional pattern before a gerund.
- 11. Use parallel actions Original: act as enforcers and role models Suggested revision: enforce rules and serve as role models Why it matters: Parallel verb phrases describe the two teacher functions more directly.
- 12. Use accessible wording Original: problem of indiscipline Suggested revision: problem of poor discipline Why it matters: The replacement is clearer and more natural while preserving the intended meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- opinions differ on whether teachers or parents should be primarily responsible opinions differ over whether primary responsibility lies with teachers or parents
- parents have the greatest influence in shaping a child’s long-term conduct parents exert the greatest influence on a child’s long-term conduct
- led enforced
- are in a strong position to enforce are well placed to enforce
- apply impose
- behavioral disciplinary
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is exceptionally clear, well organised, and linguistically controlled, with a consistent position and balanced coverage of teachers' and parents' roles. Its principal limitation is that, at 204 words, the argument is shorter than required and therefore develops each side only briefly; the most important improvement is to add a further specific explanation or example for each viewpoint while preserving the current precision and focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed directly, but the under-length response limits the depth and support of the discussion.
Reach the required length by adding a distinct, well-explained consequence or example for each side of the debate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through a focused introduction, two logically sequenced body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Make the final collaborative recommendation even more clearly traceable to the preceding comparison of responsibilities.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and naturally controlled throughout, including effective language for responsibility, behaviour, and influence.
Refine the argument further with vocabulary that distinguishes immediate rule enforcement from long-term character formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently clear control of punctuation and agreement.
Add occasional concessive or conditional structures to express the relationship between parental and teacher responsibility more subtly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.