Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some people argue that we no longer remember the original meaning of festivals, and that most of us treat them as opportunities to have fun. While I agree that enjoyment seems to be the priority during festival times, I do not agree that people have forgotten what these festivals mean.
On the one hand, religious and traditional festivals have certainly become times for celebration. In the UK, Christmas is a good example of a festival period when people are most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Most people look forward to Christmas as a holiday period, rather than a time to practise religion. Similar behaviour can be seen during non-religious festivals, such as Bonfire Night. People associate this occasion with making fires, watching firework displays, and perhaps going to large events in local parks; in other words, enjoyment is people’s primary goal.
However, I disagree with the idea that the underlying meaning of such festivals has been forgotten. In UK primary schools, children learn in detail about the religious reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions. For example, in late December, children sing Christmas songs which have a religious content, and they may even perform nativity plays telling the story of Jesus’ birth. Families also play a role in passing knowledge of religious festivals’ deeper significance on to the next generation. The same is true for festivals that have a historical background, such as Bonfire Night or Halloween, in the sense that people generally learn the stories behind these occasions at an early age.
In conclusion, although people mainly want to enjoy themselves during festivals, I believe that they are still aware of the reasons for these celebrations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise term Original: times Suggested revision: periods Why it matters: Periods is a more precise term for the recurring occasions described.
- 2. Name the activity Original: making fires Suggested revision: lighting bonfires Why it matters: This collocation describes the Bonfire Night activity more precisely.
- 3. Use concise verb Original: perhaps going to large events Suggested revision: perhaps attending large events Why it matters: Attending is more concise and formal than going to in this context.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: Christmas as a holiday period Suggested revision: Christmas as a holiday Why it matters: Holiday already conveys a period, so the extra noun is unnecessary.
- 5. Add country article Original: In UK primary schools Suggested revision: In primary schools in the UK Why it matters: UK requires the definite article, and this word order is natural.
- 6. Clarify religious meaning Original: religious reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions Suggested revision: religious significance of Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions Why it matters: Religious significance states the intended idea more directly and concisely.
- 7. Make phrase concise Original: songs which have a religious content Suggested revision: songs with religious content Why it matters: The prepositional phrase expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 8. Fix phrasal verb order Original: passing knowledge of religious festivals’ deeper significance on to the next generation Suggested revision: passing on knowledge of the deeper significance of religious festivals to the next generation Why it matters: The particle on belongs immediately after passing in this phrasal verb.
- 9. Use direct link Original: in the sense that Suggested revision: because Why it matters: The simpler connector makes the causal relationship more direct.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: In the UK, Christmas is a good example of a festival period when people are most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families. Suggested revision: In the UK, Christmas is a good example of a festival during which people focus mainly on shopping, exchanging presents, decorating their homes and enjoying traditional family meals. Why it matters: The rewrite reduces repetition and improves precision while retaining every activity in the original claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- times periods
- making fires lighting bonfires
- perhaps going to large events perhaps attending large events
- Christmas as a holiday period Christmas as a holiday
- In UK primary schools In primary schools in the UK
- religious reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions religious significance of Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response gives a nuanced, fully consistent position and develops both sides with specific, well-chosen examples that directly answer the claim. Organisation and language are highly controlled; the only modest limitation is that the evidence is concentrated on British festivals, although this does not restrict task fulfilment. A useful refinement would be to add one brief example from another cultural context for even broader illustration.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The prompt is fully addressed through a clear qualified disagreement, with both parts of the claim explored and convincingly supported.
For further refinement, add a concise example from another cultural or religious context without diluting the focused argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced seamlessly, paragraphs have clear central purposes, and cohesive devices guide the argument unobtrusively.
Maintain this economical progression while ensuring any additional example is integrated into the existing paragraph logic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and natural, including effective topic-specific phrasing and controlled paraphrase throughout.
Continue favouring exact, natural collocations and avoid adding unnecessary sophistication to an already precise lexical style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently clear punctuation and control.
Preserve this high level of accuracy when experimenting with equally complex structures under timed conditions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.