Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate about whether governments should continue to fund space programs or allocate these resources towards research into improving human health. In my opinion, I completely agree that the money spent on space programs would be better utilized to address critical health issues.
Firstly, there are countless health issues that continue to plague communities around the world. These issues include but are not limited to, infectious diseases, cancer, mental health, and drug addiction. With the increased investment in the health sector, governments can provide more funds for research that could lead to better treatments and ultimately save lives. Moreover, advancements in healthcare technology and infrastructure are necessary to combat emerging diseases such as COVID-19 and other future pandemics.
Furthermore, space programs are incredibly costly and can consume a significant portion of a government's budget. For instance, the annual budget of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is approximately $25 billion. This is a considerable amount of money that could be better spent on improving healthcare services and facilities, especially in developing countries that are most affected by health crises. Most developed nations have similar high budgets for space exploration but many citizens in those countries lack basic healthcare support. Therefore this is often seen as hypocrisy by many critics.
In conclusion, while space exploration may be exciting and interesting, the benefits of improving human health through the allocation of government funds far outweigh the benefits of space programs. Governments, around the world, therefore, prioritize the health and well-being of their citizens by investing in research and infrastructure that will help to combat health issues and improve healthcare outcomes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: towards Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Resources are conventionally ‘allocated to’ a purpose rather than ‘allocated towards’ it.
- 2. Remove redundant stance wording Original: In my opinion, I completely agree Suggested revision: I completely agree Why it matters: ‘I agree’ already identifies the statement as the writer’s opinion.
- 3. Punctuate the parenthesis Original: include but are not limited to, Suggested revision: include, but are not limited to, Why it matters: The interrupting phrase must be enclosed by commas on both sides.
- 4. Name the health condition Original: cancer, mental health, and drug addiction Suggested revision: cancer, mental health disorders, and drug addiction Why it matters: ‘Mental health’ is not itself a health issue, so the noun needs a condition term.
- 5. Use general investment Original: With the increased investment Suggested revision: With increased investment Why it matters: No specific previously identified increase justifies the definite article here.
- 6. Use funding collocation Original: provide more funds for research Suggested revision: allocate more funding to research Why it matters: Governments more naturally ‘allocate funding to’ research.
- 7. Correct adjective order Original: similar high budgets Suggested revision: similarly large budgets Why it matters: The adverb ‘similarly’ modifies the adjective ‘large’ when comparing budget sizes.
- 8. Add clause comma Original: space exploration but many Suggested revision: space exploration, but many Why it matters: A comma is required before ‘but’ when it joins two independent clauses.
- 9. Punctuate the transition Original: Therefore this Suggested revision: Therefore, this Why it matters: The introductory conjunctive adverb ‘Therefore’ should be followed by a comma.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Moreover, advancements in healthcare technology and infrastructure are necessary to combat emerging diseases such as COVID-19 and other future pandemics. Suggested revision: Moreover, advances in healthcare technology and infrastructure are necessary to combat emerging diseases and prepare for future pandemics. Why it matters: The rewrite separates diseases from pandemics and removes the illogical phrase ‘COVID-19 and other future pandemics’.
- 11. Clarify the budget contrast Suggested revision: Place the healthcare-gap claim immediately after the space-budget figure, then introduce the final judgement with ‘This contrast’. Why it matters: This ordering would make the progression from spending evidence to the criticism more explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- towards to
- In my opinion, I completely agree I completely agree
- include but are not limited to, include, but are not limited to,
- cancer, mental health, and drug addiction cancer, mental health disorders, and drug addiction
- With the increased investment With increased investment
- provide more funds for research allocate more funding to research
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay maintains a clear position and develops a persuasive comparison between urgent health needs and the opportunity cost of expensive space programmes, supported by a concrete budget example. Its main limitation is that the case against space funding is somewhat one-sided and includes a broad unsupported claim about developed nations, alongside minor grammatical lapses. The priority is to qualify that claim and briefly acknowledge why space spending may still have value.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is direct and consistently supported through relevant discussion of health priorities, research benefits and the opportunity cost of space budgets.
Qualify the broad claim about developed countries and briefly weigh a genuine benefit of space research before reaffirming the priority given to health.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from health needs to budget comparison and conclusion, with well-managed paragraphing and linking.
Integrate the final claim about hypocrisy more directly into the budget paragraph's reasoning rather than appending it as a separate judgment.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise range of vocabulary supports discussion of public funding, health research and infrastructure with strong control.
Use more measured wording than "hypocrisy" unless the judgment is explicitly substantiated, and avoid minor repetition of "health issues".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are handled accurately overall, though a few punctuation lapses and the missing modal in the final recommendation reduce complete control.
Write "Governments should therefore prioritise" and remove unnecessary commas around "around the world" and after "limited to".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.