Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Sportsperson are popular and are paid in millions by sports club and consumer goods companies, for example, cricketers in India and football and basketball players in America. Whether, it is justifiable compare to the other professionals’ salary is debatable. I strongly believe that it is fair and their hard work and popularity are enough to justify it.
To reach that stage requires tremendous practice and sacrifice. Success does not come overnight, to achieve a position in the top slot of a sports club requires hours and hours of daily practice, perhaps, their struggle does not end there, to maintain that position and to shoulder the expectation of fans requires regular improvisation of skills. For all this they have to sacrifice their family and social life. Moreover, they are constantly scrutinized by the team selectors, media and public. Thus personally, I feel no profession involves this much of stress and tension.
Undoubtedly, players are popular and are looked upon as a role model by millions of people. This popularity is exploited by the big firms to promote their products and in turn they pay them in millions. Also, we all are well aware about the viewership of the famous sports event, due to which sports club and sports channels earns a lot, hence, they are oblige to pay their players, so that they show better performance to the audience. Finally, they generally do not have any education qualification to make their living after retirement from their short career.
In conclusion, I whole heartedly respect their dedication, hard work, and sacrifice for the game. And believe that they are earning, what they deserve.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural noun Original: Sportsperson Suggested revision: Sportspeople Why it matters: The plural verb requires a plural subject.
- 2. Make the noun plural Original: club Suggested revision: clubs Why it matters: The general reference is to multiple clubs, so club should be plural.
- 3. Remove the stray comma Original: Whether, it is Suggested revision: Whether it is Why it matters: A comma must not separate whether from its clause.
- 4. Use the participle Original: justifiable compare to Suggested revision: justifiable compared with Why it matters: The passive comparison requires compared, and compared with is the appropriate construction here.
- 5. Correct number and possession Original: the other professionals’ salary Suggested revision: the salaries of other professionals Why it matters: The comparison concerns the salaries of multiple professionals.
- 6. Show the causal link Original: it is fair and their hard work Suggested revision: their pay is fair because their hard work Why it matters: Because clearly connects the writer's judgement to the stated justification.
- 7. Fix the sentence subject Original: To reach that stage requires Suggested revision: Reaching that stage requires Why it matters: A gerund phrase can serve as the subject of requires, whereas the infinitive construction is awkward here.
- 8. Clarify the reference Original: For all this Suggested revision: To achieve this Why it matters: The revision links the sacrifice directly to attaining and maintaining sporting success.
- 9. Express the sacrifice precisely Original: sacrifice their family and social life Suggested revision: sacrifice time with family and friends Why it matters: Athletes sacrifice time with people rather than literally sacrificing their family.
- 10. Use articles consistently Original: the team selectors, media and public Suggested revision: team selectors, the media and the public Why it matters: Media and public need definite articles when referring to these groups generally.
- 11. Set off the adverb Original: Thus personally, Suggested revision: Thus, personally, Why it matters: The introductory connector Thus should be followed by a comma.
- 12. Remove the extra preposition Original: this much of stress Suggested revision: this much stress Why it matters: The quantifier much modifies the uncountable noun stress without of.
Suggested Rewrites
- Sportsperson Sportspeople
- club clubs
- Whether, it is Whether it is
- justifiable compare to justifiable compared with
- the other professionals’ salary the salaries of other professionals
- it is fair and their hard work their pay is fair because their hard work
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear opinion and offers several relevant reasons why high sports salaries may be justified, with generally understandable progression. However, it does not discuss the opposing view requested by the task, and frequent grammatical errors weaken fluency; the highest-priority improvement is to add a developed paragraph explaining why such pay can be considered unfair, then respond to that view while preserving the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The opinion is clear and supported with relevant reasons, but the response omits the required discussion of the opposing view.
Develop a substantial paragraph explaining why some people consider these salaries unfair, then weigh that view against the stated opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and an understandable overall progression, although some long sentences and linking choices are awkward.
Use shorter sentence units and clearer internal sequencing so that each supporting point follows smoothly from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but recurring collocation and word-form problems reduce precision and naturalness.
Improve phrases such as “improvisation of skills,” “education qualification,” and “are oblige” through careful collocation checking.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and verb forms reduce control.
Prioritise complete sentences and accurate subject-verb agreement before attempting long multi-clause constructions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.