Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The world of sports is a multimillion dollar industry. Around the globe, people flock to sporting events or watch their favourite teams faithfully each week on television. As a result, professional athletesprofessional sports athletes receive huge salaries – well above, for example, those of doctors, lawyers, teachers or social workers. There is some debate about whether such exceptionallyoutrageously high salaries are justified.
On the one hand, professional sport is viewed as a careersport is viewed as a professional career, in which the top players should rightly earn high salaries. Athletes train rigorously from an early age to become peak performers in their field. They face tremendous pressure in each and every game, match or competition. Their personal lives are compromised and they lose all privacy. At the same time, their outstandingstrong achievements bring honour and recognitionattention, not only to themselves, but also to their teams, schools, cities or countries.
On the other hand, various professions contribute to making our world run smoothly. Doctors put in at least ten years of grueling study and professional trainingstudy and internship; their work saves lives. Teachers educate and inspire young people to be responsible citizens: their efforts help shapetheir efforts produce the citizens of tomorrow. Social workers rescue individuals facing physical, mental and psychological challenges: their interventions createtheir intervention creates safer societies.
Yet, professionals in the fields above usually struggle to get by, despite their meaningful and critical contributionscontribution to the world.
In my view, paying enormous salaries to sportspeople is unnecessary. We need to reconsider our social priorities and eliminate the large income disparities among different professionsgreat disparity in income received by diverse professionals. By doing so, we can build societies in which everyone feelseach one feels valued, appreciated and appropriately compensated for their own vocation or specialization.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position, examines both perspectives, and supports each side with relevant explanations about athletes' sacrifices and other professionals' social value. Its main limitation is that the case for why sporting success warrants exceptionally high pay is asserted more than fully analysed. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen that causal justification and directly weigh it against the opposing arguments before concluding.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear personal position are directly addressed with relevant, well-developed supporting ideas.
Explain more explicitly why athletes' training, pressure, and public contribution would justify salaries far above those in essential professions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, balanced body sections, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Integrate the short standalone paragraph into the preceding discussion so the contrast and progression feel even more continuous.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only a few slightly awkward combinations.
Refine collocations such as “strong achievements” and avoid redundant wording such as “professional sports athletes.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation supporting clear meaning throughout.
Polish occasional pronoun and determiner choices, such as “each one,” to make an already strong level of control more idiomatic.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.