The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Teaching children to cooperate is an essential part of their personal and social development. Some believe that team sports in school are the most effective method for instilling cooperation skills. While I acknowledge the reasons behind this view, I believe these sports are not the only or necessarily the best way to promote cooperation among children.
On the one hand, team sports offer a natural environment for learning how to work with others. Specifically, in games like football, basketball, or volleyball, children must communicate, share responsibilities, and support one another to achieve a common goal. These interactions teach them the value of teamwork, patience, and trust. Moreover, team sports often involve dealing with both winning and losing, which can help students develop empathy and resilience—two qualities closely linked to cooperative behavior. In many school settings, physical education programs are specifically designed to encourage collaboration, making sports a practical and engaging way to promote cooperation.
On the other hand, while team sports are beneficial, they may not be the most inclusive or universally effective method. The main reason for this is that not all children enjoy sports, and some may feel left out due to differences in ability, confidence, or physical limitations. Therefore, relying solely on sports may exclude children who could thrive in other cooperative environments. In comparison, group projects in the classroom, school clubs, or drama performances also require students to collaborate, make collective decisions, and resolve conflicts together. These activities can be more accessible and appealing to a broader range of students, allowing them to develop social and cooperative skills in contexts that match their interests and strengths.
In conclusion, while I agree that team sports are a valuable way to teach children cooperation, I do not believe they are the only or the best method in all cases. A variety of group-based activities, both physical and non-physical, should be offered in schools to ensure that all children have the opportunity to develop strong cooperative skills in a supportive and inclusive environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural location phrase Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At school is the more natural expression for activities provided by a school.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: method for instilling cooperation skills Suggested revision: method of developing cooperation skills Why it matters: Developing skills is a more natural academic collocation than instilling skills.
- 3. Make reference more precise Original: the reasons behind this view Suggested revision: why this view is persuasive Why it matters: This wording specifies what is being acknowledged more directly.
- 4. Use formal example marker Original: in games like Suggested revision: in games such as Why it matters: Such as is a slightly more formal way to introduce examples in academic writing.
- 5. Use concise phrasing Original: dealing with both winning and losing Suggested revision: experiencing both victory and defeat Why it matters: The revision conveys the contrast more concisely and precisely.
- 6. Reduce overlapping modifiers Original: most inclusive or universally effective method Suggested revision: most inclusive or effective method for every child Why it matters: The revision avoids overlap between inclusive and universally while retaining the intended scope.
- 7. Tighten the explanation link Original: The main reason for this is that Suggested revision: This is mainly because Why it matters: The shorter connector links the claim to its explanation more directly.
- 8. Use precise setting term Original: other cooperative environments Suggested revision: other collaborative settings Why it matters: Collaborative settings more naturally describes contexts where children work together.
- 9. Tighten the phrasing Original: contexts that match their interests and strengths Suggested revision: settings suited to their interests and strengths Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 10. Use natural verb pattern Original: teach children cooperation Suggested revision: teach children to cooperate Why it matters: The infinitive pattern states the learned behaviour more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- in at
- method for instilling cooperation skills method of developing cooperation skills
- the reasons behind this view why this view is persuasive
- in games like in games such as
- dealing with both winning and losing experiencing both victory and defeat
- most inclusive or universally effective method most inclusive or effective method for every child
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-supported position and develops a persuasive comparison between team sports and other cooperative activities. Its organization and language are consistently strong, with the main limitation being that some points remain broadly framed rather than illustrated through specific evidence. The most useful refinement is to add one concise, concrete example while preserving the essay's direct focus and balanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the claim with a clear nuanced position and well-developed reasons about effectiveness and inclusion.
Strengthen the already convincing argument with one specific example showing how a non-sport activity builds cooperation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the comparison smoothly without obscuring relationships.
Vary the conventional contrast framing slightly so the progression feels even more natural and less signposted.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally to discuss cooperation, inclusion, and children's development.
Reduce minor repetition of key terms such as cooperation by using selective pronoun reference or concise reformulation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, with strong control of punctuation and sentence boundaries.
Maintain this accuracy while experimenting with slightly more varied sentence openings in the body paragraphs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.