Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Climate change represents a major threat to life on Earth, but some people argue that we need to accept it rather than try to stop it. I completely disagree with this opinion, because I believe that we still have time to tackle this issue and reduce the human impact on the Earth’s climate.
There are various measures that governments and individuals could take to prevent, or at least mitigate, climate change. Governments could introduce laws to limit the carbon dioxide emissions that lead to global warming. They could impose “green taxes” on drivers, airline companies and other polluters, and they could invest in renewable energy production from solar, wind or water power. As individuals, we should also try to limit our contribution to climate change, by becoming more energy efficient, by flying less, and by using bicycles and public transport. Furthermore, the public can affect the actions of governments by voting for politicians who propose to tackle climate change, rather than for those who would prefer to ignore it.
If instead of taking the above measures we simply try to live with climate change, I believe that the consequences will be disastrous. To give just one example, I am not optimistic that we would be able to cope with even a small rise in sea levels. Millions of people would be displaced by flooding, particularly in countries that do not have the means to safeguard low-lying areas. These people would lose their homes and their jobs, and they would be forced to migrate to nearby cities or perhaps to other countries. The potential for human suffering would be huge, and it is likely that we would see outbreaks of disease and famine, as well as increased homelessness and poverty.
In conclusion, it is clear to me that we must address the problem of climate change, and I disagree with those who argue that we can find ways to live with it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the unnecessary comma Original: opinion, because Suggested revision: opinion because Why it matters: The because-clause is integral to the statement and does not need a separating comma here.
- 2. Use the general form Original: the human impact Suggested revision: human impact Why it matters: The zero-article form is more natural when referring broadly to humanity's impact.
- 3. Use a concise noun Original: airline companies Suggested revision: airlines Why it matters: Airlines expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 4. Tighten technical wording Original: renewable energy production from solar, wind or water power Suggested revision: renewable energy from solar, wind or hydropower Why it matters: This replacement is more concise and uses the standard term hydropower.
- 5. Remove the interrupting comma Original: climate change, by becoming Suggested revision: climate change by becoming Why it matters: The by-phrase directly explains how individuals can limit their contribution, so no comma is needed.
- 6. Use precise phrasing Original: affect the actions of governments Suggested revision: influence government action Why it matters: The replacement conveys political influence more concisely and naturally.
- 7. Use a smoother reference Original: the above measures Suggested revision: these measures Why it matters: This is a more natural backward reference to the measures in the preceding paragraph.
- 8. Use the standard term Original: levels Suggested revision: level Why it matters: Sea level is normally singular when referring to the global measure in general.
- 9. Use objective phrasing Original: we would see outbreaks Suggested revision: there would be outbreaks Why it matters: The impersonal construction gives the prediction a more formal tone.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: The potential for human suffering would be huge, Suggested revision: The potential for human suffering would be immense, Why it matters: Immense is a more precise formal choice than huge in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- opinion, because opinion because
- the human impact human impact
- airline companies airlines
- renewable energy production from solar, wind or water power renewable energy from solar, wind or hydropower
- climate change, by becoming climate change by becoming
- affect the actions of governments influence government action
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response is strongest in the decisive, thoroughly developed case it builds through practical prevention measures and a vivid account of the consequences of inaction. Its main limitation is that the mitigation discussion lists several measures more quickly than it analyses their likely effects. The best refinement would be to examine one measure in greater causal depth while retaining the essay's direct focus and strong progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully answers the question, sustains an unequivocal position, and develops both preventive action and the consequences of inaction with highly relevant support.
Analyse the mechanism and likely impact of one proposed mitigation measure in greater depth to strengthen an already complete argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses seamlessly from the position to possible action, then to the consequences of the alternative, with clear paragraphing and unobtrusive cohesion.
Create an even tighter conceptual bridge from the list of preventive measures to the subsequent consequences paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise lexical range conveys environmental policy and humanitarian consequences naturally, with consistently appropriate collocation.
Vary a few repeated references to climate change while preserving the exactness of the environmental terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences, conditionals, relative clauses, and coordinated structures are handled flexibly and with consistently accurate control.
Preserve this accuracy while occasionally shortening a long coordinated sentence to add further emphasis and rhythmic variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.