Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Sample Response
It is a fact that working hours are getting longer and the work pressure is getting more intense these days. There are various reasons that have caused the situation and there are some things that employers can do to help their staffs. The following essay will discuss them in details.
For a number of reasons, people’s working hours are getting longer and jobs are getting more stressful nowadays. Firstly, it is due to the tight competition in the labour market. As the supply of labour is higher than the demand, it means that there are more people who are looking for jobs and employers could be selective in hiring their potential employees. As a result, employers would select labours who are multiple talents, could work for long hours and could handle many tasks. Secondly, as business competition become tougher these days, companies are working in a more effective and efficient manners. Consequently, there will be less manpower in many companies, which means they only recruit selected people who can do many things at once and could work long hours.
There are several things that employers could do to solve the problem. It is believed that exercises could reduce stress level, therefore many companies are providing fitness centre in their office these days. This facility can be used by their employees outside of the working hours for free and it is hoped that employees could maintain their health condition. And then, employers could also hire unpaid internship to assist their employees. It is expected that with the assistance of internships, it would reduce the workload and working hours of employees.
To sum up, it is a fact that works are more stressful and take longer hours these days. To solve the issue, there are some things that employers could do, and one of them is providing gym facilities to employees for reducing their stress level. Another thing is that employers could also recruit unpaid internship to assist employees as it would reduce the long working hours.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: staffs Suggested revision: staff Why it matters: Staff is normally uncountable when referring collectively to employees.
- 2. Use singular form Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in detail'.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: tight Suggested revision: intense Why it matters: Intense competition is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 4. Keep present tense Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: The paragraph describes a current general situation, so present tense is appropriate.
- 5. Use people noun Original: labours Suggested revision: workers Why it matters: Labour refers to work or the workforce, while workers refers to individual people.
- 6. Correct noun structure Original: who are multiple talents Suggested revision: who have multiple skills Why it matters: People have skills; they are not described as being talents.
- 7. Fix agreement Original: become Suggested revision: becomes Why it matters: The singular subject competition requires becomes.
- 8. Use adverbs Original: in a more effective and efficient manners Suggested revision: more effectively and efficiently Why it matters: Adverbs are needed to modify the verb phrase are working.
- 9. Clarify recruitment Original: they only recruit selected people Suggested revision: they recruit only carefully selected people Why it matters: This wording makes it clear that the people have undergone a selective hiring process.
- 10. Use concise phrase Original: outside of the working hours Suggested revision: outside working hours Why it matters: Outside working hours is the standard concise expression.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: maintain their health condition Suggested revision: maintain their health Why it matters: Maintain their health is the natural collocation here.
- 12. Use formal transition Original: And then, employers Suggested revision: In addition, employers Why it matters: In addition clearly introduces a second proposed measure in an academic register.
Suggested Rewrites
- staffs staff
- details detail
- tight intense
- could can
- labours workers
- who are multiple talents who have multiple skills
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear two-part structure: it explains workplace pressures and proposes employer actions with generally relevant support. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise phrasing and grammatical control, while some solutions—especially unpaid internships—need more convincing explanation of how they protect employees. Prioritise accurate word forms and collocations, then develop each proposed measure by showing its practical effect on workload or stress.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with relevant reasons and proposed solutions, although some supporting claims and remedies are not fully convincing.
Explain more precisely how each employer action would reduce workload or stress, using feasible and well-supported examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into clear functional paragraphs, with straightforward progression despite some repetitive and mechanical linking.
Use a wider range of unobtrusive referencing and transitions to reduce repeated wording and list-like sequencing.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic, but frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Review countability and common workplace collocations, particularly forms involving staff, employees, labour, and internships.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but agreement, article, number, and form errors recur.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement, plural nouns, articles, and consistent modal constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.