Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Sample Response
The economic inflation, increased unemployment and nature of businesses around the globe have made it mandatory for employees to work longer hours. The long and challenging working hours, social and economical condition and modernization have also increased the amount of stress we feel in our working places. I would say a positive and balanced lifestyle, realistic expectation and support from the employers can address this pressing issue.
First of all, managing a decent job and earning livings have become competitive nowadays. The economic inflation has made it quite tough to live a standard life and to support the family. While the 50% of the world property are owned by merely 7% of people, more than 50% people in the world have very little to support their family and children. So when they get a job they are ready to work as many hours as their employers demand to earn a living. Without a job those people will starve and they are mostly factory workers and labours who comprise the largest portion of the workforce in many countries.
There are plenty of qualified graduates who are struggling to get a job only because the competition is too high. So when someone solely relies on the salary he earns, he has to obey the rule imposed by the employers and it is not uncommon that many private organisations expect the employees to work more than 10 hours per day. The government’s lack of control in private industries in many countries is the reason why employees in these companies have to work longer hours.
The businesses nowadays are transforming to global nature and it is not rare for many companies to have offshore offices. In many technology-related companies, people are working more than 14 hours per day and remaining attached with their colleagues from home. The long working hours, job responsibility, peer pressure and sedentary lifestyle of employees are increasing the stress related issues faster than any time in history. The increased violence, corruption and crime are also the reasons many employees in the defence and public sectors suffer from stress. Interestingly the bad traffic in many cities is one of the major reasons people feel stressed while commuting to their offices.
The employers can play a great role to reduce the working hours and thus controlling the work related pressures among employees. In fact, long working hours is not a guarantee of better productivity and the employers have to understand that. They can reduce the working hours, offers leaves and support morally to keep their employees happy. The employers should understand the impact of performance between a stressed and a happy employee. Simple appreciation from an employer can make a great impact and the employers have to respect their employees not treat them as servants.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant modifier Original: The economic inflation Suggested revision: Inflation Why it matters: Inflation is already an economic concept, so economic is redundant.
- 2. Choose correct adjective Original: economical condition Suggested revision: economic conditions Why it matters: Economic refers to the economy, while economical means inexpensive.
- 3. Use standard noun Original: working places Suggested revision: workplaces Why it matters: Workplaces is the standard term for locations where people work.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: realistic expectation Suggested revision: realistic expectations Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural form expectations.
- 5. Use correct collocation Original: managing a decent job Suggested revision: securing a decent job Why it matters: Secure a job is the natural collocation for obtaining employment.
- 6. Correct fixed expression Original: earning livings Suggested revision: earning a living Why it matters: The fixed expression is earn a living, with an article and singular noun.
- 7. Clarify living standard Original: live a standard life Suggested revision: maintain a reasonable standard of living Why it matters: The revision states the intended financial meaning more precisely.
- 8. Fix percentage agreement Original: the 50% of the world property are Suggested revision: 50% of the world's property is Why it matters: This removes an unnecessary article, adds the possessive form, and agrees with the uncountable noun property.
- 9. Add percentage preposition Original: more than 50% people Suggested revision: more than 50% of people Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires of.
- 10. Use noun for workers Original: labours Suggested revision: labourers Why it matters: Labourers refers to workers, whereas labour is generally uncountable.
- 11. Use natural expression Original: transforming to global nature Suggested revision: becoming global Why it matters: Becoming global clearly expresses the intended change in business scope.
- 12. Correct collocation Original: remaining attached with Suggested revision: remaining connected to Why it matters: Connected to is the natural collocation for maintaining contact with colleagues.
Suggested Rewrites
- The economic inflation Inflation
- economical condition economic conditions
- working places workplaces
- realistic expectation realistic expectations
- managing a decent job securing a decent job
- earning livings earning a living
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its broad, relevant exploration of economic, organisational, and social causes of longer and more stressful working lives. However, the employer solutions are less developed than the causes, and frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical slips weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two specific workplace measures by explaining how each would reduce stress or hours, while editing carefully for agreement and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are answered with numerous relevant reasons and practical employer actions, although the solutions are comparatively brief and general.
Select two employer measures and explain their implementation and likely effect on workload, stress, or productivity in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from causes to solutions with effective paragraphing, though some points are repetitive and no concluding synthesis is provided.
Group overlapping causes more tightly and end with a brief synthesis linking the main cause to the most effective employer response.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of work-related vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise expressions reduce naturalness.
Use more precise combinations such as rising living costs, earn a living, operate globally, stay connected, and offer paid leave.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a reasonable range of sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms remain noticeable.
Edit systematically for subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially after plural subjects and modal or infinitive constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.