As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Sample Response
People are expecting to contribute a large proportion of their adult life into their career, especially when the retirement age has been postponed in many countries. Job satisfaction is the most determinant element of individual well-being because of its significant role in people’s lives.
There are some widely recognised factors that are considered having positive effects on job satisfaction. First of all, whether the job is desirable can largely affect how satisfied people will be when they are doing the job every day. For example, as a horticulturist, having the opportunity to work in the best garden nursery in town would give me very high job satisfaction. Secondly, and also equally important, the salary can influence people’s job satisfaction significantly. Although, in theory, job satisfaction is not supposed to be measured by the salary; in reality, a decent income enables people to meet their needs, which otherwise would be unmet. The dissatisfaction from the unmet needs could easily balance out the satisfaction gained from work. Moreover, the work environment and relationship with colleagues are both notable factors that would contribute to job satisfaction.
Job satisfaction is so important to everyone; however, it is not realistic to believe that everyone has it. The workforce is getting more and more competitive that it is hard to land a job that is both desirable and well-paid. It is inevitable that some workers have to compromise their desires and needs to secure a position in this fierce job market.
To draw the conclusion, the nature of the job and the income generated from the work affect job satisfaction significantly. It would be a dream if everyone feels highly satisfied with work, but it is not the case in reality due to the hardship of securing a position in nowaday's labour market.
[ Essay by - Huan]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clearer wording Original: are expecting to contribute Suggested revision: can expect to devote Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 2. Clearer wording Original: into their career Suggested revision: of their lives to their careers Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 3. Clearer wording Original: most determinant element Suggested revision: key determinant Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 4. Clearer wording Original: considered having positive effects Suggested revision: considered to have positive effects Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 5. Grammar fix Original: whether the job is desirable Suggested revision: how closely the job matches a person's interests Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 6. Clearer wording Original: Secondly, and also equally important Suggested revision: Equally importantly Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 7. Clearer wording Original: Although, in theory Suggested revision: Although in theory Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 8. Clearer wording Original: salary; in reality Suggested revision: salary, in reality Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 9. Grammar fix Original: balance out the satisfaction Suggested revision: outweigh the satisfaction Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 10. Clearer wording Original: relationship with colleagues are Suggested revision: relationships with colleagues are Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 11. Clearer wording Original: everyone has it Suggested revision: everyone can achieve it Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 12. Clearer wording Original: so important to everyone; however Suggested revision: important to everyone. However Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
Suggested Rewrites
- are expecting to contribute can expect to devote
- into their career of their lives to their careers
- most determinant element key determinant
- considered having positive effects considered to have positive effects
- whether the job is desirable how closely the job matches a person's interests
- Secondly, and also equally important Equally importantly
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay answers both questions directly, identifies several credible sources of satisfaction and explains why universal satisfaction is unrealistic, with clear paragraph-level organisation. Its main weakness is imprecise collocation and occasional faulty clause structure, while the realism discussion could be developed beyond labour-market competition; the priority is to polish academic phrasing and add another structural constraint such as low autonomy or unavoidable routine work.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The task is addressed with relevant content, but key details or reasoning need fuller precision.
Develop the main features or claims with exact, verifiable support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall structure, though local progression can be more precise.
Use explicit, economical sequencing and remove repetition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but several collocations or word choices are inaccurate.
Replace awkward combinations with standard academic or task-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of forms is attempted, but recurring grammar errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions and clause structure.