You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: - explain why you took the job - describe the problems that you experienced - suggest what could be done about them
Sample Response
Dear Mr Johnson, I am writing to you regarding a few issues related to the job I have taken in your company. I decided to take the job in order to gain some practical experience as a law student but I am afraid some problems deter me to work properly, which is affecting me personally. I understand the job requires me to fill in a minimum of 3 affidavits each day in accordance with the files given by our solicitors. The problem is that the solicitors cannot hand in the files on time. I was told that I should get the files before 10 each morning, but in reality, I never have them before lunch, that is, 1.00 pm. As a consequence, I have to stay up until 10.00 pm almost every day to finish my daily work. Since in theory, our solicitors are supposed to complete their files the day before, I am wondering if it is possible for you to ask them to hand in the files a little bit earlier. I live far away from our firm and have classes from 6.30 in the morning, so working up to 10.00 pm is troublesome for me. I hope you would understand the issue and take steps to solve it. Once again, thank you for your attention. Yours sincerely,
Vanessa Quan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural collocation Original: job I have taken in your company Suggested revision: job I have taken with your company Why it matters: "With your company" is the natural phrase for employment.
- 2. Verb pattern Original: deter me to work properly Suggested revision: prevent me from working properly Why it matters: Use "prevent someone from -ing" for this meaning.
- 3. Formal number style Original: fill in a minimum of 3 affidavits Suggested revision: complete at least three affidavits Why it matters: This is more natural and formal in a workplace letter.
- 4. Concise phrase Original: with the files given by our solicitors Suggested revision: using the files provided by our solicitors Why it matters: "Provided" is a more precise workplace verb here.
- 5. Precise time Original: before 10 each morning Suggested revision: before 10.00 am each morning Why it matters: The time needs a clearer format.
- 6. Cleaner clarification Original: before lunch, that is, 1.00 pm Suggested revision: before lunch, which is around 1.00 pm Why it matters: This links the clarification more smoothly.
- 7. Wrong phrase Original: stay up until 10.00 pm Suggested revision: stay at work until 10.00 pm Why it matters: "Stay up" usually means remain awake, not remain at the office.
- 8. Awkward opener Original: Since in theory, Suggested revision: Since, in theory, Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase needs clearer punctuation.
- 9. Formal wording Original: a little bit earlier Suggested revision: earlier in the morning Why it matters: This is more professional and specific.
- 10. Preposition choice Original: working up to 10.00 pm Suggested revision: working until 10.00 pm Why it matters: Use "until" for an ending time.
- 11. Modal choice Original: I hope you would understand Suggested revision: I hope you will understand Why it matters: "Will" is the natural modal after "I hope".
- 12. Stronger closing Original: Once again, thank you for your attention. Suggested revision: Thank you for your attention to this matter. Why it matters: This closing fits a formal complaint more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- job I have taken in your company job I have taken with your company
- deter me to work properly prevent me from working properly
- fill in a minimum of 3 affidavits complete at least three affidavits
- with the files given by our solicitors using the files provided by our solicitors
- before 10 each morning before 10.00 am each morning
- before lunch, that is, 1.00 pm before lunch, which is around 1.00 pm
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains why the job was taken, describes the late files problem, and suggests that solicitors should provide files earlier. The formal purpose is achieved, although the requested remedy could be framed as a clearer managerial action.
Ask the manager directly to set an earlier file-submission deadline or adjust the daily target when files arrive late.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression is logical and the cause-effect relationship is easy to follow. The response would read better with paragraph breaks and fewer long sentences carrying several ideas at once.
Divide the letter into reason for taking the job, problem, effect on schedule, and proposed solution.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is work-related and mostly accurate, including "affidavits", "solicitors", and "daily work". Some collocations are unnatural, such as "deter me to work" and "stay up until" for staying at the office.
Use precise workplace collocations like "prevent me from working" and "stay at the office until".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted and meaning remains clear. Errors with prepositions, verb patterns, and modal choice reduce accuracy but do not seriously impede communication.
Check verb patterns after causative verbs and polite requests, especially "prevent someone from doing" and "I hope you will".