You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter - describe the problem with the equipment - explain what happened when you phoned the shop - say what you would like the manager to do.
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my disappointment with a kitchen appliance that I recently purchased from your store. Unfortunately, the equipment stopped working the very first time I tried to use it.
The item is a blender that I bought last week. After following the instructions carefully, I plugged it in and pressed the power button, but it would not start. I also checked the power supply and tried another socket, yet the problem remained. As a result, I have been unable to use the product at all.
The day after I discovered the problem, I called your customer service department to ask for assistance. The staff member who answered the phone told me that someone would contact me within two days to arrange a replacement or repair. However, it has now been over a week, and I have neither received a phone call nor any further information.
I would appreciate it if you could arrange either a full refund or a replacement as soon as possible. I also hope you will improve your customer service so that similar situations can be handled more efficiently in the future.
I look forward to your prompt reply.
Yours faithfully,
John Smith
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct parallel structure Original: neither received a phone call nor any further information Suggested revision: received neither a phone call nor any further information Why it matters: The correlative conjunction 'neither... nor' should connect parallel grammatical structures.
- 2. Use more specific noun Original: equipment Suggested revision: appliance Why it matters: Using 'appliance' instead of repeating 'equipment' from the prompt shows a wider range of vocabulary.
- 3. Refine time expression Original: the very first time Suggested revision: on the very first occasion Why it matters: This is a slightly more formal alternative suitable for a letter of complaint.
- 4. Use precise product term Original: item Suggested revision: appliance Why it matters: Replacing 'item' with 'appliance' maintains a formal and precise tone throughout the letter.
- 5. Improve transition Original: After following Suggested revision: Having followed Why it matters: Using a perfect participle clause enhances the cohesion and grammatical sophistication of the narrative.
- 6. Use formal verb Original: would not start Suggested revision: failed to start Why it matters: 'Failed to start' is more formal and appropriate for a written complaint than 'would not start'.
- 7. Enhance contrast linker Original: yet Suggested revision: however, Why it matters: Using 'however' with a semicolon or starting a new sentence improves the formal flow of the contrast.
- 8. Use formal time marker Original: The day after Suggested revision: On the day following Why it matters: This phrasing sounds slightly more formal and business-like for a letter to a manager.
- 9. Provide model details Suggested revision: Consider adding the specific brand or model number of the blender to make the complaint more realistic. Why it matters: Including specific details like a model number helps establish a highly realistic context for a formal complaint.
- 10. Improve paragraph flow Suggested revision: Use a stronger cohesive device at the start of the paragraph to link the phone call to the previous paragraph's issue. Why it matters: Starting with 'Following this disappointing experience, I called...' would create a smoother transition between paragraphs.
Suggested Rewrites
- neither received a phone call nor any further information received neither a phone call nor any further information
- equipment appliance
- the very first time on the very first occasion
- item appliance
- After following Having followed
- would not start failed to start
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is an exceptionally well-written letter that fully addresses all parts of the prompt with an appropriate formal tone and clear structure. The narrative flows logically from describing the faulty blender to explaining the failed phone call and requesting a resolution. To further elevate the writing, the candidate could incorporate slightly more sophisticated vocabulary and complex grammatical structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter fully addresses all bullet points with relevant, realistic details and maintains a consistently polite, formal tone appropriate for a complaint to a manager.
To improve further, you could include specific details like a transaction date or model number to make the scenario even more realistic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into clear paragraphs, and cohesive devices are used naturally to transition between the problem, the phone call, and the requested action.
Maintain this high standard of paragraphing and logical progression in all your letter-writing tasks.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is precise, natural, and highly appropriate for the context, featuring terms like 'kitchen appliance', 'customer service department', and 'prompt reply'.
Try to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items or idiomatic collocations related to consumer rights and product issues.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms, with excellent control over punctuation and grammar.
Continue practicing complex structures, such as inversion or advanced passive forms, to add further variety to your writing.