You live in rented accommodation which was recently damaged due to the bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain what caused the damage - why you need him/her to fix the problem right away - what needs to be done to fix it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Noah, I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. I am a tenant at your Yorkshire Apartment Residence, and writing this letter with regard to extensive damages that were caused to my apartment last night because of a bad storm. This bad storm, accompanied by a heavy downpour of rain continued for a significant period of time and was strong enough to smash the glass windows on the south side of my apartment. As a result, the cold wind has been entering my apartment continuously without any protection. Besides, the broken tree branches from the large tree, next to my apartment, have fallen on the electricity line of my apartment, and it has been continuously disrupting the electricity connection to my house since last night. As you know that such electricity disturbances can damage some of the electrical appliances, which I use at my apartment, anytime. Therefore, I would like to request you to send some maintenance or repair person to replace the smashed windows as soon as possible before my family freezes in cold. Please also contact the local electricity authority to move the broken trees off the electricity connection line to my apartment. In case you need my assistance in any way, please just give me a call. Yours sincerely, Phil Lawrence
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use idiomatic plural Original: health and spirit Suggested revision: health and spirits Why it matters: The fixed expression normally uses the plural noun “spirits”.
- 2. Add subject and verb Original: and writing this letter Suggested revision: and I am writing this letter Why it matters: The coordinated clause needs an explicit subject and finite verb.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: with regard to Suggested revision: regarding Why it matters: A single preposition expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: extensive damages Suggested revision: extensive damage Why it matters: “Damage” is uncountable when referring generally to physical harm.
- 5. Choose precise adjective Original: bad storm Suggested revision: severe storm Why it matters: “Severe” describes the intensity of a storm more precisely.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: heavy downpour of rain Suggested revision: heavy downpour Why it matters: A downpour already means a period of heavy rain.
- 7. Make phrase concise Original: a significant period of time Suggested revision: a long time Why it matters: The shorter phrase communicates the duration without unnecessary abstraction.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: smash the glass windows Suggested revision: shatter the windows Why it matters: “Shatter the windows” is a more natural and concise collocation here.
- 9. Use formal transition Original: Besides Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: “In addition” links the second type of storm damage in a suitably formal register.
- 10. Use natural job term Original: some maintenance or repair person Suggested revision: a maintenance worker Why it matters: The original noun phrase is awkward and unnecessarily vague.
- 11. Add definite article Original: freezes in cold Suggested revision: freezes in the cold Why it matters: The idiomatic phrase requires the definite article before “cold”.
- 12. Name damaged object Original: broken trees Suggested revision: broken branches Why it matters: The letter states that branches, rather than whole trees, fell on the line.
Suggested Rewrites
- health and spirit health and spirits
- and writing this letter and I am writing this letter
- with regard to regarding
- extensive damages extensive damage
- bad storm severe storm
- heavy downpour of rain heavy downpour
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates the urgent situation clearly, covers every requested point with relevant detail, and maintains an appropriately polite tone. Its main limitation is language control: several awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision, while presenting the whole response as one block weakens readability. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the damage, urgency, and requested repairs into distinct paragraphs while tightening sentence structure and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the requested action is supported with specific reasons.
Make the requested repair arrangements even more precise by stating an expected visit time or asking the landlord to confirm one.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from the storm damage to its consequences and the requested repairs, but the single-block presentation limits paragraph-level organisation.
Separate the description of the damage, the reasons for urgency, and the requested solutions into clear paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently wide vocabulary conveys the damage and urgency, although awkward combinations such as “extensive damages” and “freezes in cold” reduce naturalness.
Use more precise collocations, such as “extensive damage,” “power supply,” and “freezes from the cold.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied complex structures, but recurring article, clause, and punctuation errors sometimes make sentences cumbersome.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and remove unnecessary commas around essential information.
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