You live in rented accommodation which was recently damaged due to the bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - explain what caused the damage - why you need him/her to fix the problem right away - what needs to be done to fix it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Albert, I am Rebecca Paula, a tenant at your Park View Residence, writing to let you know that last night's storm broke a couple of windows at my apartment and those need to be fixed immediately. I reside in flat 4B2 on the eighth floor with my family for the last one and a half years. The relentless storm and a heavy downpour last night damaged many dwellings in our area and it is unfortunate that a couple of windows in my apartment have been shattered. The electricity line is disrupting since then and the continuous chill wind is freely flowing in my apartment. This has become unbearable, especially for my mother-in-law and six years old daughter. I want you to send someone to inspect how bad the broken windows are and how challenging it is to stay inside the flat. Please replace the windows as quickly as possible. You can contact a local vendor who provides such repair work. I will assist you in whichever way possible. Yours sincerely, Rebecca Paula
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate greeting and opening Original: Dear Mr Albert, I am Suggested revision: Dear Mr Albert, I am Why it matters: The salutation should be separated from the opening sentence in a formal letter.
- 2. Simplify the property reference Original: at your Park View Residence Suggested revision: at Park View Residence Why it matters: The residence name already identifies the landlord's property, so your is unnecessary.
- 3. Correct the location phrase Original: a couple of windows at my apartment Suggested revision: two windows in my apartment Why it matters: Windows are located in an apartment, while two states the quantity precisely.
- 4. Use the personal pronoun Original: those need Suggested revision: they need Why it matters: They is the natural subject pronoun referring back to the windows.
- 5. Use the present perfect Original: I reside Suggested revision: I have lived Why it matters: The present perfect is required for a situation that began in the past and continues now.
- 6. Use concise duration wording Original: for the last one and a half years Suggested revision: for the past year and a half Why it matters: This is a more natural expression of the continuing duration.
- 7. Fix tense and voice Original: The electricity line is disrupting since then Suggested revision: The electricity supply has been disrupted since then Why it matters: The present perfect passive correctly describes a disruption continuing from the storm until now.
- 8. Use the correct modifier Original: continuous chill wind Suggested revision: continuous cold wind Why it matters: Chill is not the appropriate adjective directly modifying wind in this phrase.
- 9. Use the verb for wind Original: is freely flowing Suggested revision: is blowing freely Why it matters: Wind blows rather than flows when it enters a room.
- 10. Hyphenate the age modifier Original: six years old daughter Suggested revision: six-year-old daughter Why it matters: A compound age used before a noun must be singular and hyphenated.
- 11. Use natural urgency wording Original: as quickly as possible Suggested revision: as soon as possible Why it matters: As soon as possible is the more natural phrase for requesting an urgent repair.
- 12. Name the service provider Original: local vendor Suggested revision: local contractor Why it matters: Contractor more precisely identifies someone who performs building repairs.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr Albert, I am Dear Mr Albert, I am
- at your Park View Residence at Park View Residence
- a couple of windows at my apartment two windows in my apartment
- those need they need
- I reside I have lived
- for the last one and a half years for the past year and a half
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates the damage, urgency, and requested repair clearly, and the practical details about the broken windows and vulnerable family members make the request persuasive. Its main limitation is linguistic control: the response is presented as one block and contains recurring tense, agreement, and collocation errors, although meaning remains clear. Prioritise dividing the letter into logical paragraphs and correcting phrases such as 'has been disrupted' and 'six-year-old daughter'.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, the storm damage is explained, and both the urgency and required repair are developed with relevant detail.
Add a specific requested deadline for inspection and replacement to make the desired action even more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from cause to consequences and repair, but the entire letter is presented as a single block.
Separate the opening, urgency, requested repairs, and closing into distinct paragraphs to clarify the structure.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant vocabulary, but several combinations, including 'continuous chill wind' and 'provides such repair work', sound unnatural.
Use more idiomatic combinations such as 'cold air is entering the flat' and 'offers window-repair services'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures communicate the message, but recurring tense, aspect, and modifier errors limit accuracy.
Correct forms such as 'have lived', 'has been disrupted', and 'six-year-old daughter', then proofread for similar patterns.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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