Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Advertising has a ubiquitous presence in our daily lives, and companies spend millions of dollars to promote those advertisements to enhance their brand reputation and increase sales. While some believe that advertising has become so commonplace that it no longer has an impact on consumers, others argue that it remains an incredibly effective tool for convincing us to buy things. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints and ultimately argue that advertising is indeed successful at influencing our buying behaviour.
On the one hand, some argue that advertising has lost its effectiveness due to its ubiquity and common claims. According to this view, we are bombarded with ads everywhere we go and are tired of hearing from every brand that their product is the best in the market. As a result, we have become desensitized to them. We are so used to seeing ads that we no longer pay attention to them, and they have lost their power to influence us. However, it is important to remember that advertising is still a massive industry, with companies spending billions of dollars each year to create and disseminate ads. Clearly, advertisers would not continue to invest such large sums of money if they did not believe that advertising is effective at persuading us to buy things.
On the other hand, many argue that advertising is incredibly successful at influencing our purchasing decisions. Advertisements are designed to tap into our emotions, desires, and aspirations, and they often succeed in doing so. By associating their products with positive emotions such as happiness, love, and success, advertisers create a powerful connection between their products and our deepest desires. For example, a perfume advertisement might depict an impossibly beautiful model living a life of luxury, thereby suggesting that if we buy the perfume, we too will experience that same level of glamour and sophistication.
In conclusion, while some may claim that advertisement has become so commonplace that it no longer has an impact on customers, I believe that advertising remains an exceptionally effective tool for persuading us to buy things. Advertisements tap into our emotions and desires, and they create powerful connections between products and our deepest aspirations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the uncountable noun Original: advertisement has become Suggested revision: advertising has become Why it matters: The general activity requires the uncountable noun advertising rather than singular advertisement.
- 2. Avoid redundant wording Original: ubiquitous presence Suggested revision: constant presence Why it matters: Ubiquitous already implies presence everywhere, so the original phrase is unnecessarily heavy.
- 3. Use the right object Original: promote those advertisements Suggested revision: advertise their products Why it matters: Companies normally use advertisements to promote products rather than promote the advertisements themselves.
- 4. Refine the collocation Original: enhance their brand reputation Suggested revision: strengthen their brand reputations Why it matters: Strengthen is a more natural verb with reputation in this context.
- 5. Use formal emphasis Original: an incredibly effective tool Suggested revision: a highly effective tool Why it matters: Highly gives the same emphasis in a more academic register.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: convincing us to buy things Suggested revision: influencing consumer purchases Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and appropriately formal.
- 7. Make the claim concise Original: indeed successful at influencing Suggested revision: effective in influencing Why it matters: This removes unnecessary emphasis while preserving the stated position.
- 8. Clarify the meaning Original: common claims Suggested revision: repetitive claims Why it matters: Repetitive identifies why frequent advertising claims may lose their effect.
- 9. Use the usual phrase Original: the best in the market Suggested revision: the best on the market Why it matters: On the market is the more conventional expression for products available for sale.
- 10. Name the referent Original: desensitized to them Suggested revision: desensitized to advertisements Why it matters: Naming advertisements removes possible ambiguity in the pronoun reference.
- 11. Signal the counterpoint Suggested revision: Use a clearer pivot before the industry-spending evidence to show that it challenges the preceding claim. Why it matters: The paragraph changes from explaining advertising fatigue to contesting that view without fully signalling the shift.
- 12. Reduce repeated points Suggested revision: Combine the repeated statements that consumers ignore advertisements so the paragraph continues to progress. Why it matters: Two consecutive sentences make nearly the same point about desensitisation and lost influence.
Suggested Rewrites
- advertisement has become advertising has become
- ubiquitous presence constant presence
- promote those advertisements advertise their products
- enhance their brand reputation strengthen their brand reputations
- an incredibly effective tool a highly effective tool
- convincing us to buy things influencing consumer purchases
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear opinion, discusses both perspectives directly, and develops the case for advertising's influence with a relevant, concrete example. Its main limitation is some repetition of central wording and an occasionally uncritical line of reasoning, particularly the claim that continued industry spending itself proves effectiveness. The best improvement would be to deepen the evaluation of how consumers can ignore individual advertisements while still being influenced cumulatively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed, the writer's position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant and well developed.
Add more critical evaluation of the spending-based argument and explicitly reconcile ad saturation with advertising's continued influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear four-paragraph structure, with cohesive devices used effectively and unobtrusively overall.
Reduce repeated formulations about advertising persuading people and use sharper links between the counterargument and rebuttal.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, including effective language for psychological influence and consumer behaviour.
Refine occasional awkward choices such as 'promote those advertisements' and avoid repeating 'massive' and 'powerful.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error free.
Polish minor article and number consistency, such as choosing 'advertising' rather than singular 'advertisement' for the general concept.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.