Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Working in multinational organisations is more beneficial to some of the job seekers in comparison to small enterprises. I agree with this statement because the benefits offered by large-scale industries are much better than local businesses.
Prestigious organisations have good policies. These big names retain their employees not just for several years but sometimes till their retirement. This is because of the exceptional benefits offered by the corporations including gratuity, provident funds, health insurance, annual or bi-annual increments, bonuses as well as performance recognition which motivate the employees to work more efficiently. For example, Providing medical card that facilitates during any emergency like accidents or any hospital visits. Moreover, career progression like timely promotions mainly based on the years of experience as well as performance measures.
Additionally, the market-competitive salaries offered and career progression which is purely based on number of years and performance has an important factor to be employed in these corporations as compared to the culture of the small firms. Another advantage is the job security. The well-established firms often provide stable employment. For instance, if there are multiple divisions and due to some circumstances like economic dropdown, one of the units is effected and laid to shutdown. In such conditions, the staff working in that section are appointed in other available vacancies rather than being layoff.
In my view, there are many advantages when people work in international companies. This is because of their culture, friendly environment and supportive policies which outstands them as compared to small companies.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Word Choice Original: some of the job seekers Suggested revision: job seekers Why it matters: The phrase 'some of the job seekers' is unnecessarily wordy. 'Job seekers' is more natural and direct.
- 2. Inaccurate Term Original: large-scale industries Suggested revision: large-scale companies Why it matters: The prompt discusses working for a 'company' rather than an 'industry'. 'Large-scale companies' or 'corporations' is more accurate here.
- 3. Style Original: till their retirement Suggested revision: until their retirement Why it matters: 'Until' is more appropriate for formal academic writing than 'till'.
- 4. Fragment Original: Providing medical card Suggested revision: They provide medical cards Why it matters: This sentence is a fragment because it lacks a main verb and subject. Changing it to a complete clause fixes the error.
- 5. Word Choice Original: facilitates during any emergency Suggested revision: provide support during emergencies Why it matters: 'Facilitates' is used incorrectly here; it needs an object (e.g., 'facilitates treatment') or should be replaced with a simpler verb like 'helps' or 'supports'.
- 6. Word Order Original: timely promotions mainly based on the years of experience Suggested revision: timely promotions based mainly on years of experience Why it matters: Slightly adjusting the word order makes the description of promotions sound more natural.
- 7. Collocation Original: number of years Suggested revision: years of service Why it matters: 'Years of service' or 'seniority' is a more professional business term than 'number of years'.
- 8. Wrong Word Original: economic dropdown Suggested revision: economic downturn Why it matters: The correct economic term is 'downturn' or 'recession', not 'dropdown'.
- 9. Confused Word Original: is effected Suggested revision: is affected Why it matters: 'Affect' is the verb meaning to influence, while 'effect' is usually a noun.
- 10. Inaccurate Phrasing Original: laid to shutdown Suggested revision: forced to shut down Why it matters: 'Laid to shutdown' is not a standard English expression. 'Forced to shut down' or 'closed down' is correct.
- 11. Word Choice Original: the staff working in that section are appointed Suggested revision: the staff working in that section are reassigned Why it matters: 'Reassigned' or 'transferred' is more precise than 'appointed' when moving existing staff to other roles.
- 12. Verb Form Original: being layoff Suggested revision: being laid off Why it matters: The passive form requires the past participle 'laid off' rather than the noun/present verb 'layoff'.
Suggested Rewrites
- some of the job seekers job seekers
- large-scale industries large-scale companies
- till their retirement until their retirement
- Providing medical card They provide medical cards
- facilitates during any emergency provide support during emergencies
- timely promotions mainly based on the years of experience timely promotions based mainly on years of experience
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay clearly states a position and supports it with relevant points such as job security and benefits. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive arguments regarding career progression across both body paragraphs, and several grammatical errors—particularly sentence fragments—disrupt the flow. To improve, focus on eliminating fragments, expanding on the comparison with small companies, and ensuring each paragraph introduces a distinct main idea.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The candidate presents a clear position agreeing with the prompt. Main ideas are relevant (benefits, job security), but they are not fully developed, and there is significant repetition of the 'career progression' point across paragraphs.
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph has a distinct central topic. Avoid repeating the same points (like career progression and performance measures) in multiple sections of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is used, but the internal coherence is weakened by repetitive ideas and grammatical fragments that disrupt the logical flow of arguments.
Use a wider range of cohesive devices naturally, and ensure that every sentence contains a complete clause to maintain a smooth logical flow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some good business-related terms ('gratuity', 'provident funds'). However, there are several word choice errors ('economic dropdown', 'outstands them').
Focus on collocations and precise word choices. Replace informal or incorrect expressions with standard academic terms (e.g., 'economic downturn' instead of 'economic dropdown').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, most notably sentence fragments (incomplete sentences starting with 'For example' or 'Moreover') and passive voice errors ('being layoff').
Practice writing complex sentences that contain both a dependent and an independent clause. Ensure that examples starting with 'For example' are integrated into full sentences.