Some people feel that in order to improve the quality of our education we should encourage high school students to evaluate and criticise their teachers. Others feel that it will cause the loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Which one do you support? What's your viewpoint?
Sample Response
It is argued whether supporting high school students for assessing their teachers in the pursuit of improving educational quality would result in disrespect and indiscipline in the classroom. This essay agrees that evaluation of teachers by secondary school students will improve the standard of education without any loss of control and respect in the classroom. Firstly, this essay will discuss why adolescent students should gauge their teachers and secondly, discuss why gauging teachers will not cause any loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Evaluation by an adolescent student provides feedback to the teacher on improving their teaching methodologies to increase classroom participation. This will further invoke the teacher to refine ways to captivate the student’s attention. Increased participation will help the student in scoring better grades. For example, a famous school in Bangladesh named Scholastica significantly improved the performance of their students in the classroom when teachers came to know about their struggles through the teacher feedback system. Teacher evaluation will not provoke any kind of disrespectful or undisciplined behaviours by students to thrive in the classroom rather it will kerb such behaviours by boosting mutual understanding by identifying their special needs. This will provide, especially the weaker students, a chance to express their problems in comprehending lectures and establish rapport. According to the magazine “Psychology Today”, adolescent students who never received attention from teachers will become a bully who are disrespectful and undisciplined both in and out of the classroom environment. In conclusion, assessment of teachers by high school students can not only help tuning teaching techniques but also promote mutual understanding among each other with respect and discipline ultimately improving the quality of education.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Verb pattern Original: supporting high school students for assessing Suggested revision: encouraging high school students to assess Why it matters: Use encourage someone to do.
- 2. Word choice Original: gauge their teachers Suggested revision: evaluate their teachers Why it matters: Evaluate fits formal feedback.
- 3. Wrong verb Original: invoke the teacher Suggested revision: motivate the teacher Why it matters: Invoke does not mean motivate.
- 4. Plural reference Original: the student’s attention Suggested revision: students’ attention Why it matters: Students are discussed generally.
- 5. Natural pattern Original: help the student in scoring Suggested revision: help students achieve Why it matters: Help takes a bare infinitive.
- 6. Logic error Original: behaviours by students to thrive Suggested revision: behaviour from thriving Why it matters: The behaviour, not students, is prevented.
- 7. Spelling Original: kerb such behaviours Suggested revision: curb such behaviour Why it matters: Curb is the standard spelling and behaviour is uncountable here.
- 8. Agreement Original: will become a bully who are Suggested revision: may become bullies who are Why it matters: Plural forms agree and 'may' avoids certainty.
- 9. Infinitive Original: help tuning Suggested revision: help to refine Why it matters: The verb pattern is corrected.
- 10. Reciprocal phrase Original: among each other Suggested revision: between teachers and students Why it matters: This names the relationship clearly.
- 11. Concise purpose Original: in the pursuit of Suggested revision: to Why it matters: A simple infinitive states the purpose more directly.
- 12. Avoid redundancy Original: adolescent students Suggested revision: students Why it matters: High school students are already understood to be adolescents.
Suggested Rewrites
- supporting high school students for assessing encouraging high school students to assess
- gauge their teachers evaluate their teachers
- invoke the teacher motivate the teacher
- the student’s attention students’ attention
- help the student in scoring help students achieve
- behaviours by students to thrive behaviour from thriving
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear supportive position and develops two relevant benefits of student evaluation: improved teaching and stronger mutual understanding. Its argument is coherent, but some evidence is asserted rather than convincingly explained, and frequent collocation, agreement, and clause errors reduce precision. Strengthen the causal reasoning around discipline and revise awkward academic vocabulary instead of using sophisticated words whose meanings do not fit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear and both promised reasons are relevant, though support is occasionally speculative.
Explain safeguards that make evaluation constructive and prevent disrespect.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear progression and focused body ideas, with some over-signposting and long sentences.
Use concise topic sentences and clearer internal punctuation.
Lexical Resource
Range is good, but several ambitious words are misused.
Prefer assess, motivate, curb, and improve rather than inaccurate synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted successfully at times, but agreement and verb-pattern errors recur.
Check singular-plural reference, infinitive patterns, and correlative structures.