Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transport such as bus, trains, subway. Which one do you prefer? What are the advantages of both choices?
Sample Response
Some individuals opt for a private vehicle in going to a particular place. However, others choose to commute by bus, train and subway. In this essay, I will discuss both points of views, following what is my perspective on the matter.
Among the advantages of using your own car, is the freedom to travel. A person who owns a car can plan his destination and time. This proves that the owner can utilise and saves time while he travels. Having a private car also provides safety and comfort to the owner which cannot be achieved in a public car. On the contrary, if more people own private cars, it will just add problems regarding traffic jams. In addition, driving cars can also harm the environment due to the emission of extra greenhouse gases from fuels.
For the other people, using a public transport like buses, trains and subways are preferred in going to offices, schools and so on. It is indeed that commuting a bus or train is much cheaper and can save a lot of money than having own car. Another factor is that you have more time to relax as a passenger and also if more people are using public cars, damaging the environment will be less because of less pollution. On the other side of the argument, public transit can be noted to be inconvenient and often time
consuming.
In conclusion, though owning a car can give someone freedom to travel, I would still choose to ride a public transit. It is because it saves me money and also it is better for the environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural travel phrase Original: in going to a particular place Suggested revision: to travel to a particular place Why it matters: The original preposition pattern is unnatural for describing travel.
- 2. Correct fixed phrase Original: points of views Suggested revision: points of view Why it matters: The fixed plural expression is “points of view,” with singular “view.”
- 3. Clarify essay sequence Original: following what is my perspective on the matter Suggested revision: and then give my perspective on the matter Why it matters: The replacement clearly links the discussion to the writer’s stated perspective.
- 4. Remove subject comma Original: using your own car, is Suggested revision: using your own car is Why it matters: A comma should not separate this subject phrase from its verb.
- 5. Make choices precise Original: plan his destination and time Suggested revision: choose his destination and departure time Why it matters: The revision states the two travel choices more precisely.
- 6. Use parallel verbs Original: can utilise and saves time Suggested revision: can make efficient use of and save time Why it matters: Both verbs after “can” need the base form and a clear object.
- 7. Correct provide pattern Original: provides safety and comfort to the owner Suggested revision: provides the owner with safety and comfort Why it matters: The standard construction is “provide someone with something.”
- 8. Use accurate transport term Original: which cannot be achieved in a public car Suggested revision: that public transport may not provide Why it matters: “Public transport” is more accurate than “a public car,” and “may” avoids an absolute claim.
- 9. State congestion clearly Original: it will just add problems regarding traffic jams Suggested revision: this will worsen traffic congestion Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended consequence directly and naturally.
- 10. Use precise emissions phrase Original: emission of extra greenhouse gases from fuels Suggested revision: additional greenhouse-gas emissions from fuel consumption Why it matters: The revision uses the standard noun phrase for this environmental effect.
- 11. Use concise reference Original: For the other people Suggested revision: For others Why it matters: “For others” is the natural way to refer to the contrasting group.
- 12. Remove incorrect article Original: using a public transport Suggested revision: using public transport Why it matters: “Public transport” is uncountable here and does not take “a.”
Suggested Rewrites
- in going to a particular place to travel to a particular place
- points of views points of view
- following what is my perspective on the matter and then give my perspective on the matter
- using your own car, is using your own car is
- plan his destination and time choose his destination and departure time
- can utilise and saves time can make efficient use of and save time
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay identifies meaningful advantages of both car travel and public transport and gives a clear final preference for the cheaper, less polluting option. Its organisation is broadly understandable, but development is fairly general and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns, and transport collocations make the prose awkward. Strengthen the comparison with one concrete example per mode and systematically edit sentences for grammatical control and idiomatic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the advantages of both choices and states a clear preference, although most benefits are explained generally and the preference appears only in the conclusion.
State the preferred mode in the introduction and support each side with one specific real-world example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate body paragraphs create a broadly logical car-versus-public-transport comparison, but several connectors are mechanical or imprecise and the split in ‘time consuming’ disrupts presentation.
Use direct topic sentences and reserve contrast markers for genuine shifts between advantages and disadvantages.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate transport vocabulary, but frequent combinations such as ‘public car’, ‘commuting a bus’, and ‘ride a public transit’ are inaccurate.
Learn the standard patterns ‘public transport’, ‘commute by bus’, and ‘use public transit’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied sentence structures, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, prepositions, and verb forms make many sentences awkward.
Check every clause for subject-verb agreement and complete article-plus-noun and verb-plus-preposition patterns.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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